Ugh... I hate drama

nguyendot

And not the drama going on the forum. I've been gone for a few days and I come back with all this spam!

Anyways - So I just found out my ex-gf has gotten engaged. I know it shouldn't really matter, but for some reason it really pisses me off, and has been making me feel like crap for a few days.

Basically this is how it is - Last year around this time (almost exactly) I broke up with my a girl named Rosey. Shortly thereafter I started dating Erin, the girl who just got engaged. We dated from September until February 14th (yeah, I know what day that is). During this time we had good times, and bad. She said she was so madly in love with me, and I her. The problem is she constantly would not give me all the information. She'd conveniently leave stuff out about going out with guy friends etc. It seemed very shady the many things she did. What I hated was every time I confronted her, she'd give me some sob-story that made me feel horrible for even doubting her. EVERY time.

For example i caught her texting back and forth to her friend "I love you, forever and ever". She gave me this story that when her last boyfriend used to be mean to her, she'd go into a room and cry. This guy would call her up and make her feel better, and one time he told her "no matter where you are or who you're with... you can know i'll always love you as a friend".. She said "Forever and ever"...and he replied the same. What a **** excuse I fell for. This guy.... turns out to be a kid 19 years old (18 when she met him) over in Jersey, England. She's 28, I'm 27. She met him on WOW. She'd never met him in real life before she met me.

They talk every day on WOW, she's an addict. I confronted her about him and about playing WoW more than seeing her boyfriend. She told me it was a hobby, not an addiction. She didn't seem to care it hurt my feelings she talked to him on WoW and on the phone more than she spent time with me. So december rolls around and she tells me out of the blue that he's coming to visit her, and he's staying in her one bedroom apartment (that I helped her find) the entire time. 10 days. Oh and the kicker - for this 10 days I can't come around at all. WTF? ?

Another sob story - she's HIS friend, that she wants to ball up and not let the world have. I don't remember the whole crap story but she told me and I was like I don't care, it's not right to tell your boyfriend he can't come around when you have another guy in your apartment. She tells me he's ****... Well maybe a little off my chest, but wtf... why do i still have to stay away?

He stays for 10 days. 10 horrible days. She didn't talk to me. I went over to her apartment to confront her and she made me feel like crap for doing so. She yelled at me for not trusting her and told me to leave. I'm wondering why he's not laying on the couch where he's supposed to be sleeping at 9am.... She's in a bath robe just out of bed. "He's in the bathroom".

He leaves, we spend Christmas together, and talk about getting married. It's not the same anymore, something's changed. She blames it on me because of how I started to not trust her. She starts going out with another guy at work as "friends". She lets this other guy at work hit on her and stay after work 3-4 hours to "chat" with her. There are more pictures of him and her than of me and her. And I'm the one dating her, having a "monogamous" relationship with her. We weren't safe about it either, because I trusted her, and she told me she was only with me.

So in February I catch her sneaking out to see this same guy... and we get in a huge fight that has her break down. I have her committed. She comes out a different girl, telling me she's not ready for a relationship. She breaks up with me on Feb 14. For months now she's broken my heart, and continually told me she isn't ready for a relationship. I wanted one but apparently she didn't...yet. Her English friend tells me that he'd been sleeping with her while I'm going through this breakup with her. I break down, but it was all a sick joke that he got **** laughs out of.

So during all this, she was still planning on going out to see her English friend this August (now). So she went 10 days ago. Now remember, she saw him 10 days in December for 10 days, and 10 days now. That's it.

I haven't really been talking to her, because it hurts what she did to me and how she treated me. I treated her like a queen...and for what? Excuses and lies. She'd always turn the tables no me. But I log into facebook the other day and what do I see? She just got engaged to the little son-of-a-**** who's supposed to be ****.

You do the math. Do I have a right to be mad? I think so. 20 days. All the crap she gave me for not trusting her.... was unfounded.

hearingimpared

reported

NotaSuv

Just move on my friend..let it go....life aint that rosy bowl of cherries where all should go your way...sure most men and woman have been where you are or were..I have but the only cure is to get on with your life....complaining aint going to help, just make it worse..maybe walking by her with a good looking babe on your arms will make you feel the best.........good luck and it really does get better..........also it really doesnt matter who is right or wrong in the end........only that it ended.......

jimmydep

This is not a good way to start a lasting relationship. As much as it hurts, just move on, use this as a learning experience and keep searching for someone that you care about and who cares about you.

Sorry Bro, but it looks like your better off without her.

Jimmy

NotaSuv

jimmydep wrote: »

This is not a good way to start a lasting relationship. As much as it hurts, just move on, use this as a learning experience and keep searching for someone that you care about and who cares about you.

Sorry Bro, but it looks like your better off without her.

Jimmy

Spot on here.........find someone who cares as much about you as you do them....they need to be a best friend too

george daniel

Yep chalked that one up in the "learned something" column about lie's experiences.

Willow

Yes you can be mad, but you WILL do much better in the near future.

nguyendot

I am moving on, i just hate that seeing her get engaged to that guy basically confirmed everything I thought was going on.

CaligulaPolk

nguyendot wrote: »

And not the drama going on the forum. I've been gone for a few days and I come back with all this spam!

Anyways - So I just found out my ex-gf has gotten engaged. I know it shouldn't really matter, but for some reason it really pisses me off, and has been making me feel like crap for a few days.

i understand how you feel. My ex for 7 years married to some guy 8 mos later after our break up. she was pregnant by him 2 mos later after our break up. after i wanted to have a family with her and she said she wasnt ready and wanted to go back to college and stuff like that so i let her go, hurtful yes then i hear all about this.. makes me mad when ive lost everything (personal stuff, relationship and years of wasted)!!

2 yrs later she divorced.. what f--kd up woman.. Now I am glad I married to my wife and have beautiful son with her!

concealer404

nguyendot wrote: »

I am moving on, i just hate that seeing her get engaged to that guy basically confirmed everything I thought was going on.

I may be backwards here.... but that would actually make me feel better, knowing that i was right.

You're looking at it backwards. Now you KNOW she was a ****, now YOU get to feel better about yourself.




Sorry... that was kindof blunt, but you get the idea.

CaligulaPolk

best to find honest woman and loves you and trust you and share trust with you.. Frigging whores best to avoid them.

Knucklehead

I think all of us go through a hurtful relationship, but believe me bro, it makes you a stronger person in the end.Besides, she's only one fish out of many in the ocean.

Fongolio

nguyendot wrote: »

I am moving on, i just hate that seeing her get engaged to that guy basically confirmed everything I thought was going on.

If anything you should feel sorry for poor guy that's going to marry her. Getting married won't change her behaviour. She's sneaky, deceptive, lying and untrustworthy. Why would it change with him? She'll just break his heart too. And she was right.....she's not ready for a relationship. She needs to grow up. Be glad you got out when you did. Harsh words I know man but this is the truth. Good luck with your future endeavours.

Eugene_biker

fongolio wrote: »

if anything you should feel sorry for poor guy that's going to marry her. Getting married won't change her behaviour. She's sneaky, deceptive, lying and untrustworthy. Why would it change with him? She'll just break his heart too. And she was right.....she's not ready for a relationship. She needs to grow up. Be glad you got out when you did. Harsh words i know man but this is the truth. Good luck with your future endeavours.

+1111111111111

Jstas

Dude, she did you a favor.

My ex was alot like her and we were married! After the ending of that, another girl that I have known for a long time came back in my life. She was alot like your Erin too. I was with her before my ex. So she was the last girl I was seeing before I met my ex. Lotsa drama came from that, needlessly.

Well, after the whole big D thing and her popping out of the woodwork on me, we ended up together again but at the same time, not really together either. She wouldn't make a commitment to anything more than dating because she was seeing two other dudes. One I knew about, one I didn't. She made her choice and it wasn't me. It was the guy I didn't know about. He has a fat wallet. That's about all he has going for him. Self-absorbed, egotistical jerk who was just looking for someone to stay home and watch his kids while he sat on his pile of money he acquired from selling a business his father left him. He doesn't work, just gallivants around like a manchild, boozing it up and taking floozies away on trips while she sits at home with kids that aren't even hers.

I saw her a couple weeks ago. Yeah it brought back many feelings. She's still drop-dead gorgeous too, with a boob job now too. I miss her company, even just the hanging out at the bar. I still wonder what could have been but after seeing her and remembering the lies and shady behavior and how betrayed and humiliated I felt, I realized that I may never be completely over her but I don't need to be with her. There is always that what-if but that's based on a small part of who she really was. That small part was the only part she would let me see.

Needless to say, I had feelings for that small part. Because that small part was everything I wanted in a girl. But with all the other lies and deception, how do I know she wasn't just saying things to string me along? Ya know?

Well, she was flirting with me and told me she would like to go grab a drink again for old times. But it just smacked of her unhappy with her situation and looking for some attention so she can get from me what she isn't getting in her relationship. She did this to me before, years ago when I was dating my ex and she was dealing with her boyfriend. I told her, "Look, this is the second time you have thrown me away like yesterday's dish water. Now you are here again looking for important parts of a relationship that you aren't getting with "moneybags" over there. I told you this would happen and you told me I was an ****$hole. So I walked away. I met somebody new and she's great! I don't have a problem with you talking to me but there's no coming back. Even if you committed to me, I don't think I want the wonder and the constant reminders of how you treated me in the past to taint things." She told me I was a jerk and I was being mean, started crying and ran off.

But if she hadn't treated me that way, I never would have met Amanda, Heidi, Kim, Trish, Sue, Tia, Liz, the other Liz, Gretchen and best of all Ayaneeya who I have been with for just over a year now.

There's better stuff out there and if she can't see you as more than a doormat then no matter how much it hurts, leave her at the door that she keeps dropping you in front of.

Seriously.

nguyendot

I did drop her like a rock, maybe thats why she ran to him. She did some other major drama i left out. I was good enough to commit her (first strike huh?) for her own good.

I went back to the girl who has always adored me, always respected me, and never would cheat on me. I just hate it took this for me to see this girl for who she really is.

agfrost

Feeling crappy about this relationship's developments, old and new, is just you being normal and human. So don't sweat that it stings right now.

What you probably suspect, and what's easier for those of us who have no tie to all this, is that you're much better off that this is all in your rearview mirror. And all things told, you escaped largely unscathed (imagine you got married before all this went down!).

Hang in there, keep living your life, and use this as a learning experience. Like a person who escapes a frightful car crash, I hope you're invigorated about moving on and being able to explore life's possibilities.

Jay

Knucklehead

Go have a drink!

dkg999

The best revenge is to live well!

reeltrouble1

I would get them some crappy Bose stuff for a wedding gift.

Eff her, not meant to be.

RT1

Jstas

reeltrouble1 wrote: »

I would get them some crappy Bose stuff for a wedding gift.

Eff her, not meant to be.

RT1

Forget that! Garth Brooks said it best!

Blame it all on my roots
I showed up in boots
And ruined your black tie affair

The last one to know
The last one to show
I was the last one you'd thought you'd see there

I saw the surprise
And the fear in his eyes
When I took his glass of champagne

I toasted you
Said Honey we may be through
But you'll never hear me complain

'Cause I got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay

I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the Oasis
Oh I've got friend in low places

Well, I guess I was wrong
I just don't belong
But then, I've been there before

Every thing's all right
I'll just say goodnight
And I'll show myself to the door

Hey, I didn't mean
To cause a big scene
Just give me an hour and then

Well I'll be as high as that ivory tower
That you're livin' in!



It's poetic, really.

Airplay355

I know how you feel man. My 3.5 year relationship just ended because my girlfriend decided she wanted the freedom to go out, get **** faced and become a sex toy to whatever guy decides to take advantage of her. Apparently random hook ups and STDs are fun, I wouldn't know. She was pretending to work things out while texting other guys about how she wanted to be with them and I do mean other guys. I guess she needed a self esteem boost and that was a good way for her to do it. Oh well, life really throws you curve balls sometimes. I thank the higher powers that be for the fact that we thought about getting a place by ourselves for our last year at college and instead opted for the master suite of a huge house that has 7 other people in it. If i had to live alone next year I would be a mess but now I'll have plenty of my friends to keep me occupied and help me get out of this slump.

It will all work out man, don't worry. When it does you'll look back and go WTF, what was I thinking? It just takes a while and probably some alcohol.

billbillw

Why do I feel like I just sat through a bad karaoke night

xj4094dg

Women are like buses.......another one will be along in minutes (especially where I live). Something to look forward to!

nooshinjohn

I tend to dispute the OP's original statement "I hate drama", as supported by the fact he tolerated her behavior for months before they broke up, and now laments the fact she is engaged to someone else. Were I in the same situation, I would not have tolerated any of this from the start. That you were part of this drama for so long and are upset now indicates that you in fact crave the drama, and the girl that came with it. I would advise a beer or two, maybe a shot of something stronger if you feel so inclined, and be thankful you have a full life in front of you. The guy she's marrying will have a full life too... full of drama and dispair. You are the LUCKY one here... Bottoms Up!

reeltrouble1

my girlfriend decided she wanted the freedom to go out, get **** faced and become a sex toy to whatever guy decides to take advantage of her. /

I would like to apologize upfront for any possible active role I may have played.........:eek:

RT1

fossy

billbillw wrote: »

Why do I feel like I just sat through a bad karaoke night

....:D:D:D:D..you hit the nail on the head

To the OP'er .. when one door closes, another opens ...

Airplay355

Damnit RT...well best go get yourself checked out now.

Retro152

nooshinjohn wrote: »

I tend to dispute the OP's original statement "I hate drama", as supported by the fact he tolerated her behavior for months before they broke up, and now laments the fact she is engaged to someone else. Were I in the same situation, I would not have tolerated any of this from the start. That you were part of this drama for so long and are upset now indicates that you in fact crave the drama, and the girl that came with it. I would advise a beer or two, maybe a shot of something stronger if you feel so inclined, and be thankful you have a full life in front of you. The guy she's marrying will have a full life too... full of drama and dispair. You are the LUCKY one here... Bottoms Up!

+1 Well put. Nuff said.



Pat.

brettw22

Good riddance to bad rubbish........

I had an ex do the 'get drunk and turn into a sex toy' thing that i was irritated with for a bit, but honestly.......why would I ever want something like that around me daily.

Get rid of the bad people in your lives so you can properly focus on the good people and that type of environment.

dkg999

Send her a new used set of tires for her house as a goodbye gift.