A Life Transition

Hillbilly61

Well, I feel that a transition has occured to me today in one's life's journey from the womb to the grave. My youngest progeny of any offspring that I will likely ever have has graduated high school. He is college bound this fall.

I joke with my wife that we can make the house "clothing optional," once he clears out for months at a time, but this is the beginning of a personal transition. The kids may come back and stay from time to time, but even when they do, the relationship will now be different. It is already different with the older progeny and these differences will intensify ... until "Mom and Dad" is dealing with an equal as an adult.

While bills and support for this sort of "finishing school" will need to be paid on my end of things, I feel pretty good about everything.

Can any empty nesters out there relate? Or, for the younger set, did you one day suddenly notice that your parents were dealing with you differently?

Hillbilly

cnh

I have one out of college and one that will be 12 soon. As a first born American, I cannnot identify with some of what you say. I was the first college educated (and beyond). So I knew more, and was consulted on any major decision even while I was in High School. Immigrant parents don't have the command of the new land that a precocious teenager does.

But I can see areas where my son is pulling into that more equal status. EXCEPT IN THE AV DOMAIN, OF COURSE...that's never going to happen because he's an ipod generation man!

cnh

Polkersince85

I feel for ya. My daughter turned 18 Thursday. My son will be 21 in Sept. You will hear from them when they need money. Son is a rising junior going for a BS in Mathematics and Computer Science (4.0). Daughter starts this fall. Don't worry, it's not over yet.

Hillbilly61

cnh wrote: »

But I can see areas where my son is pulling into that more equal status. EXCEPT IN THE AV DOMAIN, OF COURSE...that's never going to happen because he's an ipod generation man!

cnh

CNH, interesting you say the "ipod" thing. My dau yesterday came in to honor my son/her brother with his graduation and we are all driving down the road. For some reason, the overall discussion ended up with Pink Floyd. At some point, the conversation shifts to the evolution of the band and then David Gillmore and Roger Walter's own efforts. Detail was revealed by those two that I could not weigh in on.... The conversation fell apart when my daughter offered to jack in her iPod to the car stereo to make a point, but could not do so to due to a missing cable.

My kids are making me proud! With no doubt they will be assembling a stereo or AV rig once they can afford the stuff. Will probably start off with Dad's old stuff. (BTW, the SDA are staying and will remain right in Dad's living room...).

Hawkeye

We are empty nesters (EN) for about 18 months now. Three went to college and one in the Air Force.

What I found funny about being an EN is it took my wife about six months to cut down on the amount of food she bought and prepared! We'd sit down for dinner and there would be four pounds of spaghetti and a gallon of sauce on the table for the two of us! Now if we feel like a grilled cheese sandwich and a salad, we don't have to concern ourselves with providing a rounded meal for the kids.

It is quite interesting to see the results of being a parent and having your kids turn into responsible young adults. It seemed to happen overnight. One or two would come over to the house and we could have any type of discussion, political, financial or whatever and they actually listen and the surprising thing, I listened to different points of view and have changed my thinking on some issues thanks to them.

Once the college expenses were over, I was amazed at the amount of money we had! I'm not a wealthy person. My wife is a teacher and I'm a mechanic. But not raising four kids anymore and all the associated costs was really surprising to me. We've enjoyed the new found wealth. Taking short trips and it is almost like we are dating again after 30 years. While I cherish every moment and heartache of raising children, it is nice to revert to a 20 something and have fun and not have to worry about the the babysitter!

The clothing optional house was great for about three days :eek: It's hard to let them go and become adults but they have to leave the nest to mom and dad. Enjoy being an EN, it can be fun after the adjustment!

Gordon

cnh

Hillbilly61 wrote: »

CNH, interesting you say the "ipod" thing. My dau yesterday came in to honor my son/her brother with his graduation and we are all driving down the road. For some reason, the overall discussion ended up with Pink Floyd. At some point, the conversation shifts to the evolution of the band and then David Gillmore and Roger Walter's own efforts. Detail was revealed by those two that I could not weigh in on.... The conversation fell apart when my daughter offered to jack in her iPod to the car stereo to make a point, but could not do so to due to a missing cable.

My kids are making me proud! With no doubt they will be assembling a stereo or AV rig once they can afford the stuff. Will probably start off with Dad's old stuff. (BTW, the SDA are staying and will remain right in Dad's living room...).

Exactly Hillbilly,

My son is working in Boston and it was I who recommended his Samsung LCD and PS3 bundle purchase for blu-ray, and gave up an old AVR and a set of surround speakers that "I" set up in Boston during the move along with his XBOX, PS3, and Comcast Hd-box to AVR, etc. His roommate's response...."Why do you need ALL those speakers??"

cnh

Hillbilly61

Thanks for your insight!

I have a small bottle of wine to share with my wife. It was provided by the hospital when my wife had my youngest baby (an now graduated) as part of a special "mom and dad" dinner the hospital provided to new or enlarging parents.

I decided to keep this bottle and hid it from her, for this occasion. Over all of the following years I managed to do so. She still doen't have a clue that it exists. I still cannot comprehend how she did not discover this bottle of wine. Our interwining lives are very complete.

We will be cracking that bottle open very soon. It will then be explained to her the origins of this particular glass of wine that each of us will share.

Lee

Hawkeye

I spent 21 years in the military moving all around the world every three years. There would always be a couple boxes my wife would not let me open or get rid of.

When our eldest moved out, my wife went missing in the attic for a couple hours. I went up there to see what was going on. She was sitting there holding the pajamas we brought our daughter home from the hospital in. We both sat there and laughed and cried.

Saving that bottle of wine was a fine thing to do. It may be acid by now but it will taste so sweet when accompanied by the memories that come with it.

Gordon