The man rules

renowilliams

THE MAN RULES

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

These are our rules!

Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. Your a big girl. If it is up,put it down.
We need it up,you need it down. You don't hear us complaining when
you leave it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think your fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we ment the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" We will act like nothing is wrong. We know your lying, but its just not worth the hassle.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine....Really


1. Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape Round is a shape

1. I thank you for reading this. Yes I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pauly

My fav

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

zingo

If you want men's rules, a local radio show called the Men's Room does a segment every week called The Men's Room Rules. They include everything from Booze Etiquette to Situational Rules. If you want a good read, check it out.

Pablo

I tell my wife all the time, if you want the toilet seat down, I'll leave it down. I can use it either way. (Plus it doesn't make much sense to me. You need to sit on it, why not check before you sit? I just need to stand there and look at a hole).

But I don't always agree with #1 "When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine....Really". Please, if i'm getting some action later that night, make sure it's small and what's underneath is extra small! Other than that, the loose jeans with the fat shirt is fine.