Proposing around the time of another wedding?

cruzer

So I'm wanting to propose to my girlfriend pretty soon. Yay me! woohoo! Thanks! Yeah...ok...that's out of the way.

So here's my predicament. I'm ready to pop the question and she's pretty ready for it too but her best friend (at least in the same city) is getting married on May 24. I really like her friend alot, but she can be pretty jealous at times and my GF and I both know that. I don't really want to intrude on her best friend's day, but I also feel like I shouldn't have to wait for her at the same time. I'm torn. So the question that I have for all of you is; is there a general time frame before another person's wedding that you shouldn't propose?

So as an example, if I propose on my bday, May 5th, would that be too close to her best friend's wedding? (lazy, I know, but at least I could remember that day! )

tonyb

Wait untill after the wedding,not by a birthday or holiday,and do it out of the blue.Surprise her,be creative.

nadams

Propose whenever it's right. It's not like you're gonna have the wedding before May 24th. That's my opinion, anyway.

MrNightly

Ya... you gotta make this one special on a day by itself. No birthdays or holidays.

Take your time, and play is cool. Build up the suspense and keep her guessing on when it will happen. And enjoy it. Hopefully you know her well enough by now that if you think about what she loves the most and doesn't always get to do, take that scene and transform it into a proposal popping theme!

Or just pull it out on the couch over the game with nacho's and beer and ask if she will marry you... Whatever works. Hah.

Danny Tse

tonyb wrote: »

Wait untill after the wedding,not by a birthday or holiday,and do it out of the blue.Surprise her,be creative.

Second.

I proposed to my gf by the garbage chute in her apartment building. She said "Yes!"

The hard part is planning the wedding....

strider

MrNightly wrote: »

Or just pull it out on the couch over the game with nacho's and beer and ask if she will marry you... Whatever works. Hah.

I pulled it out on the couch and she asked me to marry her.

cruzer

tonyb wrote: »

Wait untill after the wedding,not by a birthday or holiday,and do it out of the blue.Surprise her,be creative.

so I wasn't actually planning on my bday, but just an example...She's gonna be out of town then anyway.

cruzer

MrNightly wrote: »

Or just pull it out on the couch over the game with nacho's and beer and ask if she will marry you... Whatever works. Hah.

that would be my perfect proposal time...probably not hers. lol

MrNightly

strider wrote: »

I pulled it out on the couch and she asked me to marry her.

She must have never seen anything quite like it... pity makes women do strange things eh?

strider

MrNightly wrote: »

She must have never seen anything quite like it... pity makes women do strange things eh?

Ouch!

Well played sir, well played.......

Jstas

Just don't do it AT the wedding on May 24th. That is, honestly, a bit tacky and rude. May 24th is her and her groom's day and it should be all about them. I would refrain from doing it at a rehearsal party too. Mainly because all those people will be at the wedding the next day and you will certainly be a topic of discussion that will detract from the special day.

Otherwise, you ask whenever you want to. Your engagement is equally as special but given her friend's tendencies towards jealous fits, anything like what I mentioned above could be misconstrued and you would then be the thunder-stealing interlopers and it wouldn't end well.

If it's a waiting thing, you've waited this long, stop being so selfish and wait a bit more. What's a couple weeks if you are going to spend the rest of your life with her? Then again, if you are in such a rush, why do you feel that you shouldn't have to wait for her friend? If you feel so strongly, do it now. You don't need a special occasion to make a spectacle of yourself at. Popping the question is only about you and her, the hell with everyone else. They don't really need to be there. If you feel they need to be there, then why are you really asking her? Because doing it at a major occasion for a family where the focus is obviously not on you, especially one that isn't even yours or your special girl's family occasion, smacks of a cheap, attention-grabbing stunt.

MrNightly

strider wrote: »

Ouch!

Well played sir, well played.......

**bows**

Just doing my part to keep it real around here

cruzer

Jstas wrote: »

Just don't do it AT the wedding on May 24th. That is, honestly, a bit tacky and rude. May 24th is her and her groom's day and it should be all about them. I would refrain from doing it at a rehearsal party too. Mainly because all those people will be at the wedding the next day and you will certainly be a topic of discussion that will detract from the special day.

Otherwise, you ask whenever you want to. Your engagement is equally as special but given her friend's tendencies towards jealous fits, anything like what I mentioned above could be misconstrued and you would then be the thunder-stealing interlopers and it wouldn't end well.

If it's a waiting thing, you've waited this long, stop being so selfish and wait a bit more. What's a couple weeks if you are going to spend the rest of your life with her? Then again, if you are in such a rush, why do you feel that you shouldn't have to wait for her friend? If you feel so strongly, do it now. You don't need a special occasion to make a spectacle of yourself at. Popping the question is only about you and her, the hell with everyone else. They don't really need to be there. If you feel they need to be there, then why are you really asking her? Because doing it at a major occasion for a family where the focus is obviously not on you, especially one that isn't even yours or your special girl's family occasion, smacks of a cheap, attention-grabbing stunt.

ugh! there is no way I would do it on the same day (or week!) of the wedding. I totally agree with that. That's absolutely one of the worst thing you could do at a wedding. The proposal is going to be a very personal and very private thing. I have that part planned out.

so after all of that I think your final argument is to just wait too, yes?

BeRad

I don't see a problem with proposing before-hand, as long as you keep the news a secret between the two of you till after the wedding. When a buddy of mine got married, another friend was engaged but waited untill two days later to break the news to everyone. It was a class-act move for sure. Can you two keep a secret that well? Better yet, can SHE keep the secret from her friend?

ryanjoachim

Do it at any time before the week of the wedding. It's YOUR engagement, YOUR new start, and has nothing to do with the friend's wedding.

No one at the wedding besides you and your girlfriend will even care that you just got engaged. At least, not until the reception when people can start talking. And by then the important part is already over!

Jstas

cruzer wrote: »

ugh! there is no way I would do it on the same day (or week!) of the wedding. I totally agree with that. That's absolutely one of the worst thing you could do at a wedding. The proposal is going to be a very personal and very private thing. I have that part planned out.

so after all of that I think your final argument is to just wait too, yes?

No, my suggestion is to do it when ever you want. But do it for the right reasons. If you are planning a private thing, then GREAT! But you don't need to make a spectacle of it either unless the place you are making a spectacle of yourself has a big meaning. Her friend's wedding is just inappropriate. So do it whenever you want. If you do it before the wedding of her friend, you can tell people but be sure to tell them that you will be making an official notice at an engagement party in a few weeks, after the wedding, maybe even after the friend's honeymoon so they can partake in your celebration too. Gives you a reason to have a party too. That way, people will know but they will understand that it should be kept discrete because all the people who should know first may not yet.

ryanjoachim wrote: »

Do it at any time before the week of the wedding. It's YOUR engagement, YOUR new start, and has nothing to do with the friend's wedding.

No one at the wedding besides you and your girlfriend will even care that you just got engaged. At least, not until the reception when people can start talking. And by then the important part is already over!

That's not really true. The reception is for the bride/groom. People should be focusing on them. Anything that might distract from that can make for a bad day at the reception. But, people are going to talk no matter what. That's not cruzer's fault. But refraining from making a big announcement about the engagement until after the wedding is probably a safer bet and more appropriate. Get engaged whenever. Just use tact on how you go about telling everyone else.

cruzer

Jstas wrote: »

No, my suggestion is to do it when ever you want. But do it for the right reasons. If you are planning a private thing, then GREAT! But you don't need to make a spectacle of it either unless the place you are making a spectacle of yourself has a big meaning. Her friend's wedding is just inappropriate. So do it whenever you want. If you do it before the wedding of her friend, you can tell people but be sure to tell them that you will be making an official notice at an engagement party in a few weeks, after the wedding, maybe even after the friend's honeymoon so they can partake in your celebration too. Gives you a reason to have a party too. That way, people will know but they will understand that it should be kept discrete because all the people who should know first may not yet.

But, people are going to talk no matter what. That's not cruzer's fault. But refraining from making a big announcement about the engagement until after the wedding is probably a safer bet and more appropriate. Get engaged whenever. Just use tact on how you go about telling everyone else.

I understand now and I was thinking along the same lines. I didn't really think about keeping it on the DL, though. That could be a good idea. The question is if the GF could keep a secret. I'm thinking probably not.

steveinaz

What's the rush? Do it when your (her & you) limelight won't be stolen by other events. Make it all about her, as it should be. Rock on!

My proposal was like this; Bev had been TDY to D.C. for a week, and I decided her return would be the time--plus it was her birthday. She always liked my leather bomber jacket; she wore it more than I did. I thought it would be funny to give it to her as a gift (a cheesy gift), but I hid the ring in one of the pockets. Being the kind soul she is, she was in tears about the jacket (which I couldn't believe) then I told her that I may have left some of my things in the pockets. She astarted going thru them, and found the ring. Then I hit my knee, well you know the rest...

Face

Just do it when it feels right.

And if you do it beforehand, it'll give her a chance to show off the ring at your friend's wedding.

cfrizz

OMG!!!! Steve, you are a class act all the way!!!! Well done!:)

steveinaz wrote: »

What's the rush? Do it when your (her & you) limelight won't be stolen by other events. Make it all about her, as it should be. Rock on!

My proposal was like this; Bev had been TDY to D.C. for a week, and I decided her return would be the time--plus it was her birthday. She always liked my leather bomber jacket; she wore it more than I did. I thought it would be funny to give it to her as a gift (a cheesy gift), but I hid the ring in one of the pockets. Being the kind soul she is, she was in tears about the jacket (which I couldn't believe) then I told her that I may have left some of my things in the pockets. She astarted going thru them, and found the ring. Then I hit my knee, well you know the rest...

megasat16

I usually use a Baton when proposing to a girl I like! That always works for the best.

J/K!

I would not choose an emotional time (wedding, anniversary, birthday, funeral; etc.) for proposing coz the answer you get might not be the answer you want or she really is sure of.

Good Luck and let us know how it goes.

steveinaz

cfrizz wrote: »

OMG!!!! Steve, you are a class act all the way!!!! Well done!:)

Thanks Cathy.

The funny thing was, I was looking for that look on her face (he's giving me an old jacket for my birthday?) kinda look, but it never really happened. I was gonna play it up like it was a big deal, and she should be honored with the jacket---it was funny how it went down.

sucks2beme

cruzer wrote: »

So I'm wanting to propose to my girlfriend pretty soon. Yay me! woohoo! Thanks! Yeah...ok...that's out of the way.

So here's my predicament. I'm ready to pop the question and she's pretty ready for it too but her best friend (at least in the same city) is getting married on May 24. I really like her friend alot, but she can be pretty jealous at times and my GF and I both know that. I don't really want to intrude on her best friend's day, but I also feel like I shouldn't have to wait for her at the same time. I'm torn. So the question that I have for all of you is; is there a general time frame before another person's wedding that you shouldn't propose?

So as an example, if I propose on my bday, May 5th, would that be too close to her best friend's wedding? (lazy, I know, but at least I could remember that day! )

Or wait and see if she catches the posies.

exalted512

sucks2beme wrote: »

Or wait and see if she catches the posies.

that would be a great idea actually! I mean, not at the wedding...but if she does catch them, you could incorporate that with your plans. Personally, I wouldnt do it 2 weeks before or a week after unless there is something already planned...like a big trip or something, but it seems your pretty flexible.

When I asked my fiancee, we were at Las Vegas attending the CES show. I made her think the trip was mostly for me so she wouldn't get any ideas. We went up to the top of the Eiffel Tower in the Paris hotel after a really great dinner at the Eiffel Tower restaurant and proposed there. So I tell everyone I proposed to her at the Eiffel Tower in Paris:p

It was funny because when we were walking around that day, there was a sign on the bottom of the Eiffel Tower that we saw and it said no food, drinks, or weddings at the top. So I told her, 'sorry babe, but we cant get married up there.' Her response was 'well, you can propose to me up there.' I told her I wasnt making another trip back to vegas just to propose to her...haha...she had no idea, which to me was the most important part.

Whatever you do, good luck!
-Cody

zingo

I agree. My brother-in-law proposed after his friends wedding since they went to Australia for it and he wanted to do the proposal there. Just wait at least two days after so you don't take away any attention from them.