This guys a bit upset

Ron-P

Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone.

During this three month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking and drinking coffee on the bog in your office.

My initial installation was cancelled without warning or notice, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive at all, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... how? I alleviated the boredom to some small degree by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.

I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 telephone calls on my mobile to your no-help line this week, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers.

Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important ****-moments to attend to.

I thought BT were ****, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there?

How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of **** you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended **** - incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy pus-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy.

Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you do likewise, and cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief - although these feelings will quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps a small measure of bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you, and your **** company. I sincerely hope that they have not become dessicated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and it's worthless employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.

A good laugh none the less.....


Peace Out~:D

George Grand

Again, some guys just know how to take the ball and run with it.


George Grand (of the Jersey Grand's)

CHRIS

Maybe he is a very short man with ‘short mans syndrome. LOL
I would not write such a letter to a company, it will never get anything accomplished, much less very childish(teenagerish). It dose however sound a lot like our cable company. With exception of the music our's is so cheap they rent buy subscribe whatever to elevator music from 5 years ago. The other TW companies in Fl. offer real DD 5.1 our local TW is to cheap to get the needed interface for their head unit. When you do end up waiting all day for a tech they are useless. This one had no idea what a S-video hookup was, much less a SPDIF output. He came in holding the digital box buy the coaxial cable hooked to te back, did wonders for rception. These companies employ any moron with a van or truck. The worst part is our comunity has its own satelites for receiving all channels, not the small dishs but the 10 or so footers, the real dishes. With much of our free time Andrea and I go to some of the local parks or historic sites. Whe there you can count on seeing any one or more of the following companies trucks sitting for a few hours- UPS, FEDEX, cable TW or the other, Sprint. In the oter post ‘Made in Japan’ we mentioned lazy Americans. IMO these companies lead the way.
Not trying to say anything about your company Ron as I live, I think, to far away to reseve your services.
Chris

George Grand

Hey guys,
Everybody have a good laugh at my expense. If you look above, I am the short man, with " short mans syndrome" that you're supposed to be laughing at. Obviously a response to my post "Some guys just know how to take the ball and run with it." That's the second time I used that innocent phrase, and got a negative response, from someone NOT EVEN INVOLVED IN THE CONVERSATION. I'm going to tape that phrase, play the tape backwards, and in general do whatever I can to figure out it's "true" meaning, because it is escaping me.

Maybe someone can provide ME with a good laugh, and tell me AGAIN, "If you met me in person, you'd think I was the nicest person around". Yeah, right.

There is something really special about flying a 6 hour late night mission, and first thing in the morning, coming home to this.


George Grand (of the Jersey Grand's)

TroyD

Wendi still thinks you are one sexy dude. She is overcome with sweat thinking of you in a South Brooklyn Guinea-T and a head full of Brylcreem.

I think that is hilarious.

Troy

Ron-P

I just wanted to share about a good laugh I had over that letter, that's all.


Peace Out~:D

Yet another good laugh this morning (wish I had a scanner). I open up the paper and see a picture of a man holding up a poster of bin Laden in protest. Within the poster is a collage of images, in that collage is a picture of Bert, yes Bert from Sesame Street with an angry face. Too funny.

CHRIS

YOUR post had noting to do with mine this or last! Go back and read it was Bob's about slate and this time it was the cable guy who came to the house. Your not going to get the response you want, you think you know me. You knew me when my Mother was dieing and yes I had an attitude a year and more ago when she was being medivaced around the country and all I could do was sit down here and wait for the call "she died". You knew it then. After life got back to normal I did apologize to the forum for my attitude. You stopped emailing me before that ended you don't know me. On top of that my cat of 16 years had just died. In your letter you said we would bring nothing to the forum from emails, I guess you can't keep you word. Do you need me to post you email as a reminder? You are a cruel man! You must like caring madness around. A gruge is the tuffest load to carry man. Now throw some gas and lies into this change my words as others have said you do also. I must admit you are good at finagaling words to make it sound like you are always in th right as I'm sure you will do again with this. You have done it to several on the forum whom you got mad at.
My second Mom's son is my best friend maybe he can visit you, as he lives in Bordentown N.J.. He can tell you about the real me. I'm sure you would like to meet him he is a real nice guy. He is into audio too, you could show him your HE-MAN rig.;)

CHRIS

For your next post George, I could realy care less what you have to say.

Aaron

Have you seen Forest Gump? Remember when he was playing for the football team? Some guys just know how to take the ball and run with it.

Aaron

George Grand

I indicated my sorrow for your mom. I even feel sorry about your cat.

But if you think I believe one word about everything else you said, FAT CHANCE.

The first time I posted that phrase, you wanted to tell Bob about "who was rattling your cage".

The second time I used it, you posted the short man stuff. Coincidence? GET REAL! You're right. I don't know you, nor do I care to know you. But I can read you like a book.

Nice try on the smoke screen, but it don't work here. Post ANYTHING you want regarding my e-mails. Just post them in their entirety. I know what I said, and how I said it. I would be more interested in you posting your choice of words to use on the forum, and all that business. You are out of your league here man.

I make a lot of mistakes, but the biggest in recent times, oh the last two yrs or so, is thinking I could befriend you. That was a whopper, and I've been paying for it one way or another ever since.

Godzilla
King of the Friggin' 5'7", 135lb Monsters

TroyD

...are you really that tall?

Troy

Ron-P

..and rumor has it, that is when he is lying on his back:eek: Micah told me:)


I couldn't resist...


Peace Out~:D

George Grand

I hope you got as good a laugh out of it as I did. There are people who can laugh at my expense all day long. Those people would be MY FRIENDS. Then there are people who can't.

Troy, you want to see sick? Brylcreem it is, and here's the original jingle:

Bryl-CREEM, a little dab'll do ya,
Bryl-CREEM, you'll look so debonair,
Bryl-CREEM, the gals'll all pursue ya,
They'll love to run their fingers through your hair!

I'm loaded with 50's and 60's jingles. Why? I don't know. Vitalis was a big seller too. No jingle though.

George Grand (of the Jersey Grand's)

CHRIS

This is all I have to say.
Ron you and I have emailed each other for quit some time now, off and on, with help to each other and just conversation. You have come farther in such a short time then anyone I know with audio. You know what George says is not the way I am. Remember when George was talking about wacking baby seals with clubs and some forum members should wear football helmets? Because you wanted serious information and all George did was crack jokes. He got mad and wanted you off the forum. You said in the post "Chris is right you do change people's words around for your bennifit" amongest other things. After you did leave for several months, when you came back you apologized wen YOU had done nothing wrong. You said you had strayed from God but were back with him now. I told you how I had been Praying and them same.
If anyone goes back and reads Joe's posts before George got him off the forum he also said you changed his words around to mean something else.
Thre were others who said I did not mea it that way, its been to long and I forget the roughly 5 or so people George did not like and wanted off the forum. He used to tell me after he gave them a bunch off BS for me togo ahead and do his light work and finish them off.
I DO NOT LIE UNLIKE YOU GEORGE.
I think Wes and Chuck also have better understanding of what type of person I am through emails. Its all there in black and white, its a shame we don't have the ability to use the old archives.
As for knowing you George, your like a babies diaper every you turn around its full of **** again. All you ever did was try and tell me what and how to do things. Unless you were going off on someone or priming me with don't get made but this person said this on the foru in your emails which would have been read before I left my home page. Until I told you I only listen to God and my Father. Yeah you have your little followers on here but not everyone likes you either I know this for a fact from emails. My post was no smoke screen you didjust what I said you would. I wish probably as a few others do that I never said a word to you. You can have your little chat room here I'll stick with the true audio forums and real life having fun with friends. One of the best is Andrea me and several friends going out in the middle of the Gulf and hanging out for the weekend as I will be doing as of 8AM this morning. Noting like racing around with 7 other boats going over 100 M.P.H. on water or tieing together at nightand hanging out with no light but he stars.
one last thing your amazings, the ribbons have to be dry with how old they are and they might as well be mono with the 2 foot or so separation you have between them. He-man rig funny. I wish you could see what a real system looks and sounds like. When I crank up my Genisis "with 75' mid ribbons and 24 front and 6 rear tweater ribbons and bass towers its the closest thing to being at a live concert" thats from a mag not me.
Hav fun in your f'd up world George. I wonder what gas you will throw on the fire now. It took you a while but I sick of your lies if the others can't see it with Joe maybe they will experience it them selves.

CHRIS

You really need to get a SHOT OF LIFE!

Ya know like in "Forest Gump" when he got some from the girl he grew up with.
Chris

George Grand

I have never seen as demented, and miserable a person as yourself. Twisted? There are some people I had disagreements with in the 3rd grade. Have you been in touch with them yet?

Why don't you just face up to the fact, that you have a hard-on a mile long for me, and it's never going to go away. I am PROUD of the fact that you dislike me.

George Grand (of the Jersey Grand's)

Thanks for all the hi-fi tips. They're worthless.

gidrah

Yeehah! This is getting better, or atleast as good as, some of the fights over at Audio Asylum? I wish I could delve into the the archives. I'd love to be able to see a new relationship budding, first peek at the petals, and in full bloom. Only to see it rot on the vine and finally get mulched up by the rototiller. Happy, yet sad!

NOTE TO ALL: I often work off shifts and can somehow justify a serious drinking habit. If ant anytime you read one of my posts and think to yourself "Man this guy is WAY out there.", that's fine. I just hope it never gets to the point of "Man this guy is a freaking A..hole.". Just chalk it up to feeding the American beverage industry, or at least the importers.

P.S. Great initial post. If I had a printer I'd put it up in the bathroom. Framed and all.

gidrah

Do chicks really like running their fingers through Brylcream?

Even Godzilla always needed help defeating Gidrah! And he (she) was the star.

I've gotta get a printer. It'd look great next to the framed "Collage Of Hate" poem my wife wrote about one of her college roommates.

dbartol

Our hero "Snake" (or his pen name Chris) brings out the best in everyone. His cheery disposition. His jolly accounts of life and where we're all going. His helpful hints and witty banter. Year after year (literally) we get to indulge our senses as Chris takes on opponent after opponent, fearing no man or child, as his insanely thought out, grammatically poor insults, laced with self-doubt and depression brighten everyones day.

Thank again weirdo,
Darrin

BobMcG

Great letter! Thanks for sharing it with us. In light of recent events, it's nice to have a good laugh.

TroyD

**bumpity bump**

the original post is HILARIOUS...the ensuing clash has it's merits as well.

BDT

BobMcG

Oh man, not the SNAKE :eek: . This stuff is priceless!

hearingimpared

Rotflmao!!!!

Ron-P

Yet another nice find BDT, thanks for the memory lane trips.

Danny Tse

The buildup to the cat crap is great!

George Grand

Yeah, it's great to read the rantings of a psychotic again.

ohskigod

WOW, that dude Chris was a freak show :rolleyes:

crazy posts get typed when the nuts are off the meds

Fireman32

Very funny read.

hearingimpared

In all honesty that letter reads a little like the riot act I read to Comcast a couple of weeks ago with just a little less abusive talk.

Fireman32

Joe if that post wasn't so old I would have thought that.

F1nut

The more things change, the more they stay the same.