There may be a Ricer behind you.. IF !!

PoweredByDodge · February 2003

You might be being followed by a ricer IF...

1- as you pull up to the stop light you slowly, gaining on you, hear a rumbling bass sound.
2- as it gets closer you notice its not rumbling bass... but... rather... a horrible trunk / hatch rattle which closely resembles the sound made by a hog tied man lashing and writing in the trunk of a 74 lincoln screaming "LEMME OUT!"
3- two words, exhaust optional.
4- you notice a pink luminescent (spelling) glow coming from the bottom of the vehicle so bright that behind it follows the **** pride parade.
5- when our maybe a ricer driving friend pulls up beside you, he looks over, is wearing a band-aid much like rapper "nelly", gives you the peace sign, straightens his bandanna(s), and hits the gas... you hear one thing... "pfft pfft pfft pt pt pt pt pfft pt pt pt pffft pffft pffft"
6- there are several "NOS" stickers on the rear and side windows.
7- upon our "Nelly" lookin friend rolling down the window to "challenga ya to a run", it becomes apparently clear that the two JL w3's making that abhorred racket in back are the sum whole of his audio system (Boss amp chromed out "special")... wired to a Jensen tape deck no less... factory speakers disconnected so as to make the "phat beats" more "phat".

can anyone else think of any more "you might be being followed by a ricer if's ?" -- har de har har...

LiquidSound · February 2003

When you look in the mirror, you only see knuckles peeking over the steering wheel.

CPHILHOWER · February 2003

I got one. Your sitting at the light and hear a sewing machine gaining on you. How about this one. The driver pulls up alongside you and you look over and see his roof. Upon looking down you finally see the driver.
Chris

PoweredByDodge · February 2003

hahaha -- i loved the knuckles one -- i like the "lookin down u see the driver" one about as much lol... cut springs *shakes head* "oy vey"... "lets see how many sparks i can get to fly from the bottom of my hoopty"

wlrandall · February 2003

Looking in the rearview you see the ignorant-a&& wing above the roofline.

Clueless, they are, who would want downforce on the rear of a front wheel drive vehicle????

sntnsupermen131 · February 2003

you thought you heard a lawn mower driving beside you
but you were VERY wrong
your lawn mower has a FULL 3 hp LESS than the blinding orange light next to you...
-Cody

LiquidSound · February 2003

You see someone open their hood and pull out a big bowl of steamed rice.

PoweredByDodge · February 2003

Kung Pow Chicken? Cremov Sum Yung Gui?

would you like fries with that?

TrappedUnder Ice · February 2003

Might be a ricer behind you...if you think your about to be attacked by a swarm of killer Bees.... BZZZZZZZZZ
lol

interceptor · February 2003

might be a ricer if you only see about an inch of tire between the rim and the pavement, and can be confirmed by letting it pass you and noticing that the exit hole for the exhaust is bigger than the pistons in the engine. This can be further confirmed by various things....more colors on the car than Du Pont even makes....rims bigger than trash can lids....the annoying **** pipe sound....a rear wing bigger than a prototype Indy car....a very large foreign sticker being used as a sun visor on the windshield.....a very absurd fetish with racing my truck and getting waxed bad (I own a Ranger)........and last but not least, using very expensive parts (or expensive looking el cheapo specials) to "try" and trick out and make your 4-cylinder sound mean and make lots more power. There is a reality.....want more power? Buy American. Wanna look cool? Buy American stuff!!!!

PoweredByDodge · February 2003

... heh heh.... i always wanted to see a Honda Civic with either of the following...

1- 440 magnum and a 727 torqueflite
2- old ford HD v8 with a C6 trans.

Keske944 · February 2003

If
1. They think they can run with my stock Porsche 944
2. The exhaust tip is four times bigger than the pipe
3. If they use aluminum foil or a chees grater in place of a radiater
4. Thier $15,000 car has more money in it than a Porsche Boxter or Chevy Corvette
5. Thier car looks like a pen exploded all over it.
6. Thier rims are worth more than the engine
7. They are racing me up until 96 mph when thier governer kills the engine (I love it when that happens)
8. They hear the words fifth gear and start to sweat
9. The most powerful engine avaible is listed as "Four squirrles in a double overhead cam hamster wheel"
10. When you stop at a light thier woman sees your ride and ditches the rice boy for you (after which you smoke the ricer)

Happy rice hunting.

p.s. The you look down and than see the driver can also apply to Eurpoean sports cars (such as my 944 which is a stock rice killer)

PoweredByDodge · February 2003

ehh -- but when u look down on a porsche u're usually too distracted by the sleek body styling and suberb paint job (theres something to be said for paint that looks like "silk") to even look at teh driver.... lol.

Keske944 · February 2003

I have to give you that one. By the way I am planning on repainting my 944 this summer (current paint is 16 years old). I plan to go with House of Kolor paint. Any suggestions on color/pearl/flake so I end up with a really nice looking custom job without looking like a ricer?

sntnsupermen131 · February 2003

silver porsches look great
my truck governs out at 100 so im 4 up on the other guys....lol
-Cody

CPHILHOWER · February 2003

My 2001 Escape is limited to 105mph. Damn shame. I run about 2500 at 80 in Overdrive. Fuel pump cuts out at 5900 but I have been able to get it up to 6400. They may get me off the line, But I will pass them. Once at a light, I raced a Civic. Mustard colored with a spoiler. Dont know how much was stock though. The kid stayed about 3 car lengths behind me and would not go over 75.
Chris

Keske944 · February 2003

lol thats funny. My car has five gears. Third is good till 80 and fourth will take it up to around 115-120. I havn't experimented with fifth but have a friend who has a stock 86 944 and he got his up to 155 (even took a pic of the dash to prove it jammy goit).

Jstas · February 2003

Geez! I hit about 52 MPH in 1st! By the time I reach third, I'm blasting past 100 and topping out at about 125. I'm electronically limted to ~150 MPH though. But at that point, I'm only pulling about 2700 RPM. Probably plenty left if it weren't for aerodynamic drag bringing me down.

Consequently, ricers are not an issue and usually come in on the radar and are quickly dismissed as not worth teh time and gas needed to dispense with them.

PoweredByDodge · February 2003

paint suggestions....

after having been through the paint "mill" so to speak several times (mostly repairs and what not on a few cars) ... i've come to have an affection for peal coat... metal flake and clear coat looks cheap to me... i think pearl coat over a flat base color looks so goddamn classy that its sick...

gunmetal grey / pearl coat

creme white / pearl coat (like the 2k1 harley fat boy stock folor)

twilight blue / pearl coat

wine red-burgandy ish / pearl coat.

There may be a Ricer behind you.. IF !!

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