Friday Funnies

F1nut
F1nut Posts: 50,760
edited February 2024 in Clubhouse Archives
A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone
before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your lefthand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10."If your hand doesn't fit, you must aquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"
Political Correctness'.........defined

"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."


President of Club Polk

Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on

Comments

  • HBombToo
    HBombToo Posts: 5,256
    edited January 2003
    A first grade teacher in Oakland explains to her class that she is an
    Oakland fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are
    too. Everyone in the class raises their hand, except one little
    girl.

    The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and asks,"Brooklin, why
    didn't
    you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not an Oakland fan," she replied.
    The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Oakland
    fan, then who are you a fan of?"

    "I am a Buccaneers fan, and proud of it," Brooklin replied.
    The teacher could not believe her ears. "Brooklin, why are you a
    Buccaneers fan?" "Because my Mom is a Buccaneers fan, and my dad is a
    Buccaneers fan, so I'm a Buccaneers fan too!"

    "Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no
    reason for you to be a Buccaneers fan. You don't have to be just like
    your
    parents all of the time. What if your Mom was a moron and your dad was a
    moron, what would you be then?"

    "Then," Brooklin smiled, "we'd be Oakland Raider fans."
    ***WAREMTAE***
  • F1nut
    F1nut Posts: 50,760
    edited January 2003
    Understanding Computer Technology
    Political Correctness'.........defined

    "A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."


    President of Club Polk

  • HBombToo
    HBombToo Posts: 5,256
    edited January 2003
    Originally posted by F1nut
    Understanding Computer Technology

    :lol::lol::lol:
    ***WAREMTAE***
  • F1nut
    F1nut Posts: 50,760
    edited January 2003
    :lol:
    Political Correctness'.........defined

    "A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."


    President of Club Polk

  • Ron-P
    Ron-P Posts: 8,520
    edited January 2003
    pic22704.jpg
    If...
    Ron dislikes a film = go out and buy it.
    Ron loves a film = don't even rent.
  • scottvamp
    scottvamp Posts: 3,277
    edited January 2003
    What my cats talk about:
  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited January 2003
    hunt.gif
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
  • Paul Connor
    Paul Connor Posts: 231
    edited January 2003
  • Tour2ma
    Tour2ma Posts: 10,177
    edited January 2003
    ....on e-bay in Carver M1.0t listing.

    "This amp is in good cosmetic and operational condition. It is 200 watts per/channel RMS @8 ohms, 20Hz-20kHz with no more than 0.15% total harmonic distortion. This amp is only two channel, but has four spaker terminals on the rear. The amp is also bridgable and comes with the owners manual."

    Revolutionary design feature there. Bob's secret is finally uncovered... :D

    For verification, or if you're interested...
    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3004937155&category=14973

    Personally, I'd only buy if the seller promised me he never hooked it up...
    More later,
    Tour...
    Vox Copuli
    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Old English Proverb

    "Death doesn't come with a Uhaul." - Dennis Gardner

    "It's easy to get lost in price vs performance vs ego vs illusion." - doro
    "There is a certain entertainment value in ripping the occaisonal (sic) buttmunch..." - TroyD
  • nadams
    nadams Posts: 5,877
    edited January 2003
    Originally posted by Tour2ma
    ....on e-bay in Carver M1.0t listing.

    "This amp is in good cosmetic and operational condition. It is 200 watts per/channel RMS @8 ohms, 20Hz-20kHz with no more than 0.15% total harmonic distortion. This amp is only two channel, but has four spaker terminals on the rear. The amp is also bridgable and comes with the owners manual."

    Revolutionary design feature there. Bob's secret is finally uncovered... :D

    For verification, or if you're interested...
    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3004937155&category=14973

    Personally, I'd only buy if the seller promised me he never hooked it up...

    Sold by Audiophileanswers, eh? And to think there are even little pictures on the back for the "spaker"s. :lol:

    nadams
    Ludicrous gibs!