advice need

chillywilly

My daughter started grade 1 this year and she has autism. She was to receive a special needs assistant to help her with her aggression, transitions and so on. To my wives and my knowledge she hadn't received her aide yet so my wife asked the teacher about it and found out that the classroom aide they have is assigned to my daughter. The teacher told my wife that she helps the whole class because my daughter don't need her and they don't want to single her out. Now here's the catch we don't mind if the aide helps everyone but their job is to help my daughter. The other day they asked the kids to paint a mouse simple right. They didn't pay attention to my daughter and explain things to her so that she could understand. She didn't just paint a mouse she painted the mouses house the sun etc. So when they finally went a check on her they told she had redo the painting which sent my daughter into a melt do in front of all they other students. By them not wanting to single her out it progressed to a whole blown situation that should have been avoided. Here's my question should I make a big deal of the aide and risk problems with the teacher that could possibly single my daughter out even more or just let it go and deal with situations as they arise. I'm just confused if we start problems we live in a small town and we know how small towns can be.

tcrossma

How many children in the classroom?

George Grand

I think I'd ask what was the big deal about your daughter drawing the mouse's home and the sun. Is that 1st grade robot school or something?

John30_30

So she's in a regular class, not a special-needs class? Yes, there should be enough someones in the class who can devote time to each special-needs kid.

polrbehr

IMO, that's a tough, almost no-win situation for you.

I feel they dropped the ball, at least in this instance, as it's their job to make sure she understands what is being asked of her. By not doing so, they created a situation that got out of hand, most likely by causing a high frustration level for your daughter. To my way of thinking, that should not have happened. And if she painted more than what was asked, so what? I think a good dose of praise for her effort was in order. (Hope you keep the painting )

Now the hard part...

You really want someone there for your daughter when help is needed, but that person also needs to know when not to help, as you want your daughters' behavior and classroom time to be as typical as possible. I would try and talk to both the teacher and the aide, and see if they echo those sentiments. I don't feel you'd be making a big deal out of this at all; you are simply being an advocate for your child, and really just trying to keep events like this to a minimum. If that aide is supposed to be there for your daughter, then they must understand that that's the priority. Good luck with this!

Harry

chillywilly

tcrossma wrote: »

How many children in the classroom?

there are only 12

chillywilly

John30_30 wrote: »

So she's in a regular class, not a special-needs class? Yes, there should be enough someones in the class who can devote time to each special-needs kid.

she's in a regular class

chillywilly

polrbehr wrote: »

IMO, that's a tough, almost no-win situation for you.

I feel they dropped the ball, at least in this instance, as it's their job to make sure she understands what is being asked of her. By not doing so, they created a situation that got out of hand, most likely by causing a high frustration level for your daughter. To my way of thinking, that should not have happened. And if she painted more than what was asked, so what? I think a good dose of praise for her effort was in order. (Hope you keep the painting )

Now the hard part...

You really want someone there for your daughter when help is needed, but that person also needs to know when not to help, as you want your daughters' behavior and classroom time to be as typical as possible. I would try and talk to both the teacher and the aide, and see if they echo those sentiments. I don't feel you'd be making a big deal out of this at all; you are simply being an advocate for your child, and really just trying to keep events like this to a minimum. If that aide is supposed to be there for your daughter, then they must understand that that's the priority. Good luck with this!

Harry

That's what I'm thinking but I'm not the most politically correct when I come to my daughter I really tend to over react and get frustrated. I might have to leave it for a couple days to calm down and really think out a good plan of attack.

polrbehr

There you go.
It does sound like they're trying to do the right thing with her. Just keep the lines of communication with them open... but be careful.
Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets replaced

steveinaz

George Grand wrote: »

I think I'd ask what was the big deal about your daughter drawing the mouse's home and the sun. Is that 1st grade robot school or something?

Exactly.

I can see their point on trying to keep things as "normal" as possible for her, but they need to realize when special care needs to kick in as well. I don't know anything about Autism, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

Hawkeye

My wife is a Special Education teacher and I asked her about this last night. The house and sun should not have been made to be such an issue at this grade level. A better approach would have been to compliment your daughter and explain the next time she should do exactly as the teacher asked.

My wife also recommends you set up a meeting with the teacher and aid. I know when it comes to our kids we take it personal but the meeting needs to be calm and informative to all parties. This is important for your daughters sake. Express your concerns and desires but be realistic. Perhaps the aid needs to roam the room with more frequent stops at you daughters desk. Fortunately, the school year is still young and a good meeting should be able to correct anything within reason.

We are in a small town also and everybody knows everybody. Many of her students live in the same neighborhood as us. We well know the issue of trying to balance that. We've had parents knock on our door to discuss their kids schooling. We've had to ask them to schedule an official meeting at school. Some did not like that but that is the rule around our house.

Keep a positive attitude and it will work out with work on both sides.

Gordon

daniel_paul_

My wife teaches an inclusion class. You need to be a squeeky wheel. Go straight to the principal. The aid clearly does not know what she is doing. During the first weeks of class the aid needs to be supportive and resonsive. Only then can they make the determination on how much attantion she needs. There is a difference between giving space and neglecting ones' responcibilities. Quick and reasonable pressure should always be applied following any situation.

With that said you know there are going to be bad days that are simply unavoidable.

ntculenuff

i don't have kids so i am no expert on any school stuff but, this is what aggravates me most about the school systems your daughter has some extra time and instead of bothering other kids she goes above and beyond reaches into her creative side gives the little mouse a home and some sun and then gets in trouble and singled out. this was the problems i had in school when you step out the box a little they pull you back in and tell you it's wrong to think that way.

KUDOS to your daughter for a job well done

robot school indeed

George Grand wrote: »

I think I'd ask what was the big deal about your daughter drawing the mouse's home and the sun. Is that 1st grade robot school or something?

sorry but I've seen this with my friends kids

chillywilly

Thank you all for the support and advice. My wife and I discussed this all night and I think she is setting up a meeting for next week with the principal, teacher, aide.