A little note to Dr. Laura....funny

BaggedLancer
BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
edited September 2008 in The Clubhouse
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people
who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant
Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22
and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an East Coast
resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as
informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as
many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle,
for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to
be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however,
regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing
odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the
odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period
of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I
have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female,
provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly
states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination -
Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree.
Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around
their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How
should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops
in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of
getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we
just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people
who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can
help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.
Post edited by BaggedLancer on

Comments

  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited September 2008
    Given the fairly strict no political and no religion stance of late it seems this would clearly fall in the religious category. Maybe it should be closed.
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
  • Early B.
    Early B. Posts: 7,900
    edited September 2008
    The larger question is -- why is a Jew using a Christian Bible to make her point? Do Jews accept the Christian Bible (esp. the Old Testament) as the Word of God? What does the Torah say on the subject of homosexuality?

    Yeah, I know the Old Testament is basically of Judaic origin; nevertheless, Christians don't normally quote the Koran to support their own ideology even though the Koran is replete with Christian elements.

    Not trying to get into a religious discussion, but pointing out the lack of logic here.
    HT/2-channel Rig: Sony 50” LCD TV; Toshiba HD-A2 DVD player; Emotiva LMC-1 pre/pro; Rogue Audio M-120 monoblocks (modded); Placette RVC; Emotiva LPA-1 amp; Bada HD-22 tube CDP (modded); VMPS Tower II SE (fronts); DIY Clearwave Dynamic 4CC (center); Wharfedale Opus Tri-Surrounds (rear); and VMPS 215 sub

    "God grooves with tubes."
  • bobman1235
    bobman1235 Posts: 10,822
    edited September 2008
    Leviticus is both the third book of the Torah and the third book of the Christian Old Testament. There's a lot of overlap there.
    If you will it, dude, it is no dream.
  • Early B.
    Early B. Posts: 7,900
    edited September 2008
    bobman1235 wrote: »
    Leviticus is both the third book of the Torah and the third book of the Christian Old Testament. There's a lot of overlap there.

    This fact adds credence to my point -- Leviticus is clearly Judaic law, so does 18:22 only apply to those who profess the Jewish faith? Most Christians don't follow Jewish law as described in Leviticus, so why is Laura quoting a Christian bible?
    HT/2-channel Rig: Sony 50” LCD TV; Toshiba HD-A2 DVD player; Emotiva LMC-1 pre/pro; Rogue Audio M-120 monoblocks (modded); Placette RVC; Emotiva LPA-1 amp; Bada HD-22 tube CDP (modded); VMPS Tower II SE (fronts); DIY Clearwave Dynamic 4CC (center); Wharfedale Opus Tri-Surrounds (rear); and VMPS 215 sub

    "God grooves with tubes."
  • bobman1235
    bobman1235 Posts: 10,822
    edited September 2008
    Here's a rundown on how Mosaic (Jewish, essentially) law applies to Christians.

    Answer : it's complicated. And arbitrary. :)
    If you will it, dude, it is no dream.
  • Jstas
    Jstas Posts: 14,806
    edited September 2008
    OK, since no one else is doing it, snopes classifies this as a Legend.

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp


    It's related to things Dr. Laura actually said but there is no evidence that this email was ever sent nor actually intended for Dr. Laura. It's just an essay meant to discredit the arguments.

    It's really not a good discussion for this forum though guys. This one is going to the HOS.
    Expert Moron Extraordinaire

    You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
  • Shizelbs
    Shizelbs Posts: 7,433
    edited September 2008
    What the hell does this have to do with anything?
  • brettw22
    brettw22 Posts: 7,624
    edited September 2008
    Early B. wrote: »
    ..... the lack of logic....
    4 words to adequately describe Dr. Laura's schtick.
    comment comment comment comment. bitchy.
  • Ron-P
    Ron-P Posts: 8,516
    edited September 2008
    Funny, but the person who spent their time doing that clearly is worse off then Dr. Laura.
    If...
    Ron dislikes a film = go out and buy it.
    Ron loves a film = don't even rent.