Ok, you have all heard them and you all have your favorite one so let's hear 'em!

Jstas
Jstas Posts: 14,842
edited February 2024 in Clubhouse Archives
You might be a Redneck if...

...people knock on your door mistakenly thinking you are having a yard sale!
Expert Moron Extraordinaire

You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
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  • hoosier21
    hoosier21 Posts: 4,413
    edited December 2002
    If your richest relative buys a new home..and you have to help take the wheels off it.
    Dodd - Battery Preamp
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    Where is the remote? Where is the $%#$% remote!

    "I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us have...very hard to explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad..."
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  • TroyD
    TroyD Posts: 13,092
    edited December 2002
    Your favorite anecdote begins with "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****...."

    BDT
    I plan for the future. - F1Nut
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  • rskarvan
    rskarvan Posts: 2,374
    edited December 2002
    You have a beautiful new home in southwest allen county with a white picket fence,dog,and a new Z71 sitting out front.
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  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited December 2002
    Your last words before going to the hospital were "Hey Bubba...Watchthis"
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
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  • madmax
    madmax Posts: 12,434
    edited December 2002
    You may be a redneck if: you keep calling your dog a **** and your wife a dog.
    madmax
    Vinyl, the final frontier...

    Avantgarde horns, 300b tubes, thats the kinda crap I want... :D
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  • goingganzo
    goingganzo Posts: 2,793
    edited December 2002
    have you guys/gals ever watched the jeff foxworthy comdy act that is 2 funny
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  • MxStYlEpOlKmAn
    MxStYlEpOlKmAn Posts: 2,116
    edited December 2002
    if you and your dog both pees at the corner
    Damn you all, damn you all to hell.......
    I promised myself
    No more speakers. None. Nada. And then you posted this!!!!
    Damn you all! - ATC
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  • wangotango68
    wangotango68 Posts: 1,056
    edited December 2002
    What did one of the maryland polk forum members say before his death??? give up?? "hay you all watch this!!!":lol: thank you im here all week.:lol:

    scott:cool:
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  • Frank Z
    Frank Z Posts: 5,860
    edited December 2002
    ...if you have a spitoon on your ironing board.

    ...If you think a family reunion is a good place to meet girls.

    ...If you sneak a pinch or two of Skoal from your moms underware drawer.
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
    2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
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  • STUFFMD
    STUFFMD Posts: 381
    edited December 2002
    1. You think Nascar is a sport......2. You take an extra pair of earplugs to the Monstertruck rally for the dam yankees kid sitting next to you......
    Peace StuffMD
    Your system is only as good as your weakest component...!

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  • GZ
    GZ Posts: 343
    edited December 2002
    The first option you choose when ordering your new pickup is a gunrack.
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  • joe6pak
    joe6pak Posts: 267
    edited December 2002
    Why are you guys making fun of me?

    joe
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  • Paul Connor
    Paul Connor Posts: 231
    edited December 2002
    The nickname of your brother's only tooth is "Old Yeller"
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  • Jstas
    Jstas Posts: 14,842
    edited December 2002
    Geez, some of those are just off!

    Here are some more:

    ...your front porch collapses and kills more than 3 dogs.

    ...you mow you front lawn and find a car.

    ...your brother helps you move your fridge and there is yellow grass underneath.

    ...you have even been too drunk to fish.

    ...you ever had to climb a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.

    ...your wife's hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fan.

    ...you own a home that is mobile and 14 cars that aren't.

    ...your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.

    ...you ever hit a bump in the road and lost half your worldly possesions.

    I have plenty more but those should do for now!
    Expert Moron Extraordinaire

    You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
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  • RuSsMaN
    RuSsMaN Posts: 17,986
    edited December 2002
    You might be a redneck if . . .

    http://www.texasta.com/page3.html
    Check your lips at the door woman. Shake your hips like battleships. Yeah, all the white girls trip when I sing at Sunday service.
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  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited December 2002
    New car Russ?
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
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  • Dr. Spec
    Dr. Spec Posts: 3,780
    edited December 2002
    you shoot squirrels out your back window and eat them for dinner.
    "What we do in life echoes in eternity"

    Ed Mullen (emullen@svsound.com)
    Director - Technology and Customer Service
    SVS
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  • wodom1
    wodom1 Posts: 1,054
    edited December 2002
    ...if your front porch is also your outhouse
    "I got into the music business thinking it was really radical, that it wasn't really a business at all, that it was a lot of people being artistic and creative. Not true, and it made me very depressed."

    Thom Yorke of Radiohead

    SOPA. Bow down before me, ****. Want a cookie?


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  • TroyD
    TroyD Posts: 13,092
    edited December 2002
    I was EXPECTING to see that picture with my heed pasted on it.

    BDT
    I plan for the future. - F1Nut
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  • wangotango68
    wangotango68 Posts: 1,056
    edited December 2002
    here one
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  • Paul Connor
    Paul Connor Posts: 231
    edited December 2002
    If your wife wears a dress that is strapless and a bra that's not!
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  • Jstas
    Jstas Posts: 14,842
    edited January 2003
    You've taken a pregnancy test and a sobriety test in the same day.
    Expert Moron Extraordinaire

    You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
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  • Zen Dragon
    Zen Dragon Posts: 501
    edited January 2003
    You watch your home theater on a portable TV, setting on top of a console TV that doesn't work.
    The Family
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    Do not one day come to die, and discover you have not lived.
    This is pretty f***ed up right here.
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  • Zen Dragon
    Zen Dragon Posts: 501
    edited January 2003
    OK, so maybe red-necks don't have home theater, or is 5.1 surround when there is a domestic dispute in every room, including the garage. :lol:
    The Family
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    Polk SDA-2
    Polk Monitor 10B's
    Polk LSI-9's
    Polk Monitor 5's
    Polk 5 jr's
    Polk PSW-450 Sub
    Polk CSI40 Center

    Do not one day come to die, and discover you have not lived.
    This is pretty f***ed up right here.
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  • Zen Dragon
    Zen Dragon Posts: 501
    edited January 2003
    OK, in keeping with the theme....

    What does a Redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?


    Either way, someone is gonna lose a trailer.


    (somebody stop me) :eek:
    The Family
    Polk SDA-1C's
    Polk SDA-2
    Polk Monitor 10B's
    Polk LSI-9's
    Polk Monitor 5's
    Polk 5 jr's
    Polk PSW-450 Sub
    Polk CSI40 Center

    Do not one day come to die, and discover you have not lived.
    This is pretty f***ed up right here.
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  • F1nut
    F1nut Posts: 50,761
    edited January 2003
    He's here all week folks, come back ya-heeear!
    Political Correctness'.........defined

    "A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."

    President of Club Polk

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