Breaking News: Wingnut4772 Implicated In Police Racketeering Conspiracy
Jstas
Posts: 14,842
Breaking News: Wingnut4772 Implicated In Police Racketeering Conspiracy
For Immediate Release
AP News Service
Tuesday June 3, 2008
MIAMI -- Presidential hopeful Wingnut4772 was implicated today in a police corruption scandal that could bring her presidential campaign to a screeching halt. One Mr. Nightly is on record as sending a message to Wingnut4772 implying that he and a few other guys could issue "friendly shakedowns" to "nudge a few of these robust males out of the picture". This is coming fast on the heels of rumors about Wingnut4772 and Cfrizz conspiring to fix votes in the polls.
Obviously there has been public outrage. Ms. Candy Bar was incensed at the thought of police corruption permeating through the polls. "Just the thought of those sworn to protect and serve behaving like common criminals and mobsters is appalling! They better not be intending to shake me down or they'll get a shot from my shoe in the jibbly bits!" Harsh words for sure. Still others felt that police across the country already have a poor image due to corruption and general jerkiness and that this doesn't help that problem at all. Mr. Ima Punk was overhead outside a polling booth discussing the news story. When asked if he would go on record with the AP, he responded with "Sho' 'nuff!" and issued this statement: "Yo, dese coppers just don't know what's good for them! Dey run around here like they all that and a bag of chips but when it comes down to puttin' up or shuttin' up, dey can't hang! Yo, deys was tryin' ta shake me down last week! Tried ta gank may dime bag and everythang! Can't dey get up off a brotha? Psssh! Deys try ta shake me down again, Imma bust a cap in deys asses! Know what I'm sayin' homes?"
The dorokusai campaign issued a statement shortly after the story broke. dorokusai issued a statement himself stating that his campaign did not participate in vote fixing or any kind of racketeering practice. "We are mudslingers and dirt diggers to the end but organized criminals? Not lately! Not lately in the least!" Later in the day reeltrouble1 issued the following statement: "As the Chief of Homeland Security I find this Mr. Nightly person to be of great interest and we are currently seeking him to detain and question him about these events. We at dorokusai campaign do not stand for these terroristic activities and as Director of our national security I will rid the land of insurgents, particularly, the anti hi-fi audio insurgents, these folks will be rounded up and detained indefinitely."
However, reeltrouble1 made his own news in a previous press conference where he stated that "As Homeland Security chief I will broaden the powers of the Patriot Act to include searches of nubile ladies or men for that matter..." which has brought hushed gasps to many who already think the Patriot Act is out of control. However, the U.S. Marshals office has reported a massive influx of new male applicants, recruits and even volunteers following reeltrouble1's statements. The U.S. Marshals office declined comments but security analysts for the AP have stated that they believe that the wording of "...searching nubile ladies..." has a great influence on the decision of many to seek service with the U.S. Marshals. It seems though that many are missing the secondary part of the statement that includes searching "...nubile...men for that matter..." "We don't know if this is for real or just a cruel joke. Given reeltrouble1's history as a prankster, it is hard to tell. We will have to wait for official confirmation from the dorokusai campaign offices to know for sure." said Mr. P. I. Wachin, a former private investigator and current senior security analyst for the AP.
For Immediate Release
AP News Service
Tuesday June 3, 2008
MIAMI -- Presidential hopeful Wingnut4772 was implicated today in a police corruption scandal that could bring her presidential campaign to a screeching halt. One Mr. Nightly is on record as sending a message to Wingnut4772 implying that he and a few other guys could issue "friendly shakedowns" to "nudge a few of these robust males out of the picture". This is coming fast on the heels of rumors about Wingnut4772 and Cfrizz conspiring to fix votes in the polls.
Obviously there has been public outrage. Ms. Candy Bar was incensed at the thought of police corruption permeating through the polls. "Just the thought of those sworn to protect and serve behaving like common criminals and mobsters is appalling! They better not be intending to shake me down or they'll get a shot from my shoe in the jibbly bits!" Harsh words for sure. Still others felt that police across the country already have a poor image due to corruption and general jerkiness and that this doesn't help that problem at all. Mr. Ima Punk was overhead outside a polling booth discussing the news story. When asked if he would go on record with the AP, he responded with "Sho' 'nuff!" and issued this statement: "Yo, dese coppers just don't know what's good for them! Dey run around here like they all that and a bag of chips but when it comes down to puttin' up or shuttin' up, dey can't hang! Yo, deys was tryin' ta shake me down last week! Tried ta gank may dime bag and everythang! Can't dey get up off a brotha? Psssh! Deys try ta shake me down again, Imma bust a cap in deys asses! Know what I'm sayin' homes?"
The dorokusai campaign issued a statement shortly after the story broke. dorokusai issued a statement himself stating that his campaign did not participate in vote fixing or any kind of racketeering practice. "We are mudslingers and dirt diggers to the end but organized criminals? Not lately! Not lately in the least!" Later in the day reeltrouble1 issued the following statement: "As the Chief of Homeland Security I find this Mr. Nightly person to be of great interest and we are currently seeking him to detain and question him about these events. We at dorokusai campaign do not stand for these terroristic activities and as Director of our national security I will rid the land of insurgents, particularly, the anti hi-fi audio insurgents, these folks will be rounded up and detained indefinitely."
However, reeltrouble1 made his own news in a previous press conference where he stated that "As Homeland Security chief I will broaden the powers of the Patriot Act to include searches of nubile ladies or men for that matter..." which has brought hushed gasps to many who already think the Patriot Act is out of control. However, the U.S. Marshals office has reported a massive influx of new male applicants, recruits and even volunteers following reeltrouble1's statements. The U.S. Marshals office declined comments but security analysts for the AP have stated that they believe that the wording of "...searching nubile ladies..." has a great influence on the decision of many to seek service with the U.S. Marshals. It seems though that many are missing the secondary part of the statement that includes searching "...nubile...men for that matter..." "We don't know if this is for real or just a cruel joke. Given reeltrouble1's history as a prankster, it is hard to tell. We will have to wait for official confirmation from the dorokusai campaign offices to know for sure." said Mr. P. I. Wachin, a former private investigator and current senior security analyst for the AP.
Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
Post edited by Jstas on
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Way to go wing, you're spiraling for sho'
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engtazengtaz
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Lol!~!!!!
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Breaking Update:
For Immediate Release
AP News Service
Tuesday June 3, 2008
Mr. Jstas was arrested within the last hour for felony possession of suspect cocaine. When asked for a comment Mr. Jstas only screamed, "It's not mine! It's not mine. They planted that shi....HEY! What are you doing with that?! Don't Taze me bro! Don't taze me, AIIEEEEEEEE!!!"
Mr. Jstas had no further comment.Sharp Elite 70
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wingnut4772 wrote: »Breaking Update:
For Immediate Release
AP News Service
Tuesday June 3, 2008
Mr. Jstas was arrested within the last hour for felony possession of suspect cocaine. When asked for a comment Mr. Jstas only screamed, "It's not mine! It's not mine. They planted that shi....HEY! What are you doing with that?! Don't Taze me bro! Don't taze me, AIIEEEEEEEE!!!"
Mr. Jstas had no further comment.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
wingnut4772 wrote: »Breaking Update:
For Immediate Release
AP News Service
Tuesday June 3, 2008
Mr. Jstas was arrested within the last hour for felony possession of suspect cocaine. When asked for a comment Mr. Jstas only screamed, "It's not mine! It's not mine. They planted that shi....HEY! What are you doing with that?! Don't Taze me bro! Don't taze me, AIIEEEEEEEE!!!"
Mr. Jstas had no further comment.
Looky here toots! I don't make the news, I just report it! Maybe YOU should be checking up on your "Mr. Nightly" buddy there!
reeltrouble1, please take note of the trouble makers. They should be on the "detain and question" list.
Oh and by the way, I have from a very reliable and close, personal source to Jstas that this did not happen and its merely a fabrication meant to discredit those parties involved.Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
engtaz
you all are killing ROFLOLengtaz
I love how music can brighten up a bad day. -
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ***********
Love this thread.
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Yep, I always thought that that dam little dog was just a front for something.
And I'm glad, Jstas, that you were able to also uncover Cfrizz's involvement in the whole vote rigging operation !!
Yeah, Cathy's just a little too quiet, a little too soft-spoken ..... you know, that's just the way "they" operate !! :eek:
Keep up the good work !!!Sal Palooza -
Hey Darla, would you mind passing me that tazer? I have to get an obnoxious, harrassing stalker to back off!:mad: I've already dropped him with some mace, I just want to finish the job, you know how I like to be thorough, and do things right the first time around!:Dmrbigbluelight wrote: »
Yep, I always thought that that dam little dog was just a front for something.
And I'm glad, Jstas, that you were able to also uncover Cfrizz's involvement in the whole vote rigging operation !!
Yeah, Cathy's just a little too quiet, a little too soft-spoken ..... you know, that's just the way "they" operate !! :eek:
Keep up the good work !!!Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2 -
You guys have crossed the wrong path. Get'em ladies. Michael
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