Breaking News: Kris Siegel Named Specifcally in Diebold Vote Tampering Lawsuit
Jstas
Posts: 14,842
Kris Siegel of Club Polk Web Intern Fame Named by Diebold As A Primary Defendant in Vote Tamper Case
For Immediate Release
AP News Service
Friday May 30th, 2008 3:22 PM
BALTOMORE -- Kris Siegel, an employee of Polk Audio Inc, a division of Directed Electronics has been named in a lawsuit filed by Diebold, an embattled security company responsible for serious flaws in voting systems used nationwide. Diebold has brought suit against multiple hackers accusing them of compromising the integrity of their voting systems by using known exploits that Diebold has failed to fix. Diebold offered the stance "...just because the exploits were known doesn't mean they have to be meanies and take advantage of it! Whatever happened to the "honor system", huh?"
Kris Siegel has been directly implicated in the lawsuit and named as a primary defendant citing several offenses. Those offenses include tamping with current presidential election polls currently being taken in Club Polk. There are several candidates in the running and rumors and accusations of corruption seem to be running rampant within the club itself. There are clear leaders in the race but due to apparent tampering with the polls, it is difficult to predict a winner or front runner.
When Polk Audio was contacted for a statement they replied with "What the hell are you talking about? Hey! Mr. Ballard! We got another one of those freakin' Club Polk loonies on the phone! You want to talk to him or should I release the hounds?" Kris Siegel was unavailable at the time but his fellow former web intern and apparent "super hero guy" Justincredible did release a statement. Unfortunately it was complete gibberish but ended with "...Justincredible and Kid Kris! Up, up, and away!" quickly followed by the sound of a human head impacting a spinning ceiling fan and the loud, stomach turning thud of an unconscious carcass falling to the ground.
The campaign offices of dorokusai released a statement concerning the incident. "We cannot vouch for the validity of the voting system here at Club Polk. We do realize that there is a margin of error always associated with such undertakings. If there has been any wrong doing, we will get to the bottom of it!" dorokusai also released a personal statement in which he called for election reform and greater security measures to curtail such corrupt practices in processes that guide and form our great system of government.
hearingimpared denies the release of a statement but a member of hearingimpared's campaign known as "Jimmy the Pigeon" released this unofficial statement: "Look, see, I dun want no trouble but youse guys ya gotta know, that F1nut **** is buyin' off the locals! See! Yeah and he's going around payin' people off so theys don't talk ya see! I saw that Kris Siegel kid talkin' to F1nut a few days ago. He was in some crazy getup. Looked like that same kinda Star Wars pajamas my cousin Margaret's kid has but with the little feet at the end of the pants? Ya know what I'm talkin' 'bout? No, on F1nut, not the kid! The kid had some silly cape on. Anyways, F1nut hands the kid a briefcase full of A-Team underroos and says "Yous knows what ta do!" Then the kid takes the brief case, yells "Ups, ups and aways!" and jumps off the 33rd St. bridge and lands face first on the Lawn Guy Land ferry. But hey, yous didn't hear dat from me, capisce?"
The other candidates in the race have yet to release statements concerning the accusations of Diebold.
For Immediate Release
AP News Service
Friday May 30th, 2008 3:22 PM
BALTOMORE -- Kris Siegel, an employee of Polk Audio Inc, a division of Directed Electronics has been named in a lawsuit filed by Diebold, an embattled security company responsible for serious flaws in voting systems used nationwide. Diebold has brought suit against multiple hackers accusing them of compromising the integrity of their voting systems by using known exploits that Diebold has failed to fix. Diebold offered the stance "...just because the exploits were known doesn't mean they have to be meanies and take advantage of it! Whatever happened to the "honor system", huh?"
Kris Siegel has been directly implicated in the lawsuit and named as a primary defendant citing several offenses. Those offenses include tamping with current presidential election polls currently being taken in Club Polk. There are several candidates in the running and rumors and accusations of corruption seem to be running rampant within the club itself. There are clear leaders in the race but due to apparent tampering with the polls, it is difficult to predict a winner or front runner.
When Polk Audio was contacted for a statement they replied with "What the hell are you talking about? Hey! Mr. Ballard! We got another one of those freakin' Club Polk loonies on the phone! You want to talk to him or should I release the hounds?" Kris Siegel was unavailable at the time but his fellow former web intern and apparent "super hero guy" Justincredible did release a statement. Unfortunately it was complete gibberish but ended with "...Justincredible and Kid Kris! Up, up, and away!" quickly followed by the sound of a human head impacting a spinning ceiling fan and the loud, stomach turning thud of an unconscious carcass falling to the ground.
The campaign offices of dorokusai released a statement concerning the incident. "We cannot vouch for the validity of the voting system here at Club Polk. We do realize that there is a margin of error always associated with such undertakings. If there has been any wrong doing, we will get to the bottom of it!" dorokusai also released a personal statement in which he called for election reform and greater security measures to curtail such corrupt practices in processes that guide and form our great system of government.
hearingimpared denies the release of a statement but a member of hearingimpared's campaign known as "Jimmy the Pigeon" released this unofficial statement: "Look, see, I dun want no trouble but youse guys ya gotta know, that F1nut **** is buyin' off the locals! See! Yeah and he's going around payin' people off so theys don't talk ya see! I saw that Kris Siegel kid talkin' to F1nut a few days ago. He was in some crazy getup. Looked like that same kinda Star Wars pajamas my cousin Margaret's kid has but with the little feet at the end of the pants? Ya know what I'm talkin' 'bout? No, on F1nut, not the kid! The kid had some silly cape on. Anyways, F1nut hands the kid a briefcase full of A-Team underroos and says "Yous knows what ta do!" Then the kid takes the brief case, yells "Ups, ups and aways!" and jumps off the 33rd St. bridge and lands face first on the Lawn Guy Land ferry. But hey, yous didn't hear dat from me, capisce?"
The other candidates in the race have yet to release statements concerning the accusations of Diebold.
Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
Post edited by Jstas on
Comments
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I'm thinkin' we need to mandate a urinalysis test for all current and future Club Polkies, this is getting way out of control!
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Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
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Oh boy...
I like how a story was written about me when I actually made the voting results accurate.
I should mention a correction in the story as I am not a Polk employee (see my title "Former Web Intern"). -
Oh, and then he lies on an open forum. :rolleyes: Why haven't his mod powers been disabled? Clearly this is an attempt by the F1nut and Justin campaigns to ensure Justin a cabinet position in the F1nut Presidency. Ridiculous.
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Brilliant
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Kris Siegel wrote: »Oh boy...
I like how a story was written about me when I actually made the voting results accurate.
I should mention a correction in the story as I am not a Polk employee (see my title "Former Web Intern").
Oh no, somebody call the WAAAAAmbulance!
Dude, I don't make the news, I just report it!Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
Kris Siegel wrote: »Oh boy...
I like how a story was written about me when I actually made the voting results accurate.
I should mention a correction in the story as I am not a Polk employee (see my title "Former Web Intern").
Accuracy will get you nowhere in life young man.CTC BBQ Amplifier, Sonic Frontiers Line3 Pre-Amplifier and Wadia 581 SACD player. Speakers? Always changing but for now, Mission Argonauts I picked up for $50 bucks, mint. -
Accuracy is a fascist concept.I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore
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Kris Siegel wrote: »Oh boy...
I like how a story was written about me when I actually made the voting results accurate.
I should mention a correction in the story as I am not a Polk employee (see my title "Former Web Intern").
Sure ...... "Former Web Intern" ........ now
MIND CONTROL MASTER OF MATTHEW POLK !!!!
Yes, Jstas, it's all starting to become clear now.
Rigging elections electronically ...... gain control of Matthew Polk's mind (with an amalgam-based hallucenogin) ..... win the Presidency .... than ... ??!!
One thing that this nefarious Maoist Internation Movement sponsered crowd didn't count on, though, was the power of the Polk Press !!
Good work, Jstas !! Just watch your back ! :eek:Sal Palooza -
Too funny.
engtazengtaz
I love how music can brighten up a bad day.
