how i know a movie sucks

Micah Cohen
Micah Cohen Posts: 2,022
edited October 2001 in Music & Movies
I was watching "Finding Forrester" a couple days ago.

Not nearly as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Too long, but well acted by the kid. And Connery... Could read the phonebook on a white background and be a great actor.

But it occured to me that I know a movie isn't a "great movie" when at any point during the watching of said movie, I think to myself: "I would have done that differently."

Think about your favorite "great movie." I mean CLASSIC. Whether it's "Guns of Navarone" or "Raising Arizona," I bet that there's never a moment during the watching of that film that you even begin to think, "I would have directed/acted that scene differently," or "I could have done that better."

I would have made the Connery character ("Forrester") much more dirty and crotchety, much more neurotic and obsessive. Maybe I was projecting, but that's how I saw that that character would have been much more convincing. And I would have either chopped out the silly bit part with the girl (a hot perky little Anna Paquin), or I would have made her get naked in exchange for making the movie too long. And there was no need for the Matt "ubiquitous" Damon cameo at the end.

See? It's not a good movie, because I could have changed it to make it better.

MC
[email protected]

"There's nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight." - Lon Chaney
Post edited by Micah Cohen on

Comments

  • RuSsMaN
    RuSsMaN Posts: 17,987
    edited September 2001
    Maybe you really are going to die miserable and alone.

    Jeez.

    R
    Check your lips at the door woman. Shake your hips like battleships. Yeah, all the white girls trip when I sing at Sunday service.
  • George Grand
    George Grand Posts: 12,258
    edited September 2001
    Pay him no mind Micah. I have always felt I could have done a better job of creating life as we know it. Hey, you opened the door, I walked through.

    George Grand (of the Jersey Grand's)
  • I-SIG
    I-SIG Posts: 2,238
    edited September 2001
    Micah just wishes he was Forrester as he himself described him above.

    Seriously, though I agree with the Anna Paquin comments whole-heartedly. I also agree that Matt Damon and all those other Jersey trilogy goons are showing up in too much random stuff. Kinda like Samuel L. Jackson in lead/supporting roles.

    Wes
    Link: http://polkarmy.com/forums

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  • gidrah
    gidrah Posts: 3,049
    edited September 2001
    In the Marix, right after the big lobby shoot 'em up scene, they open the elevator. I would have liked it to have some cheezey Muzac playing. It would've been a great closer for the scene.


    P.S. Great new forum.
    Make it Funky! :)
  • jdelan
    jdelan Posts: 244
    edited September 2001
    IN Blazing Saddles, I would have made the Campfire scene longer...But the movie is still the best...
  • Micah Cohen
    Micah Cohen Posts: 2,022
    edited October 2001
    But see, I watched "Fistful of Dollars" this weekend (no better way to spend a chilly, rainy Baltimore Sunday night). There is nothing I would have done differently. What a great, fun, iconographic film!

    I also watched "Untouchables," just to be able to think about it and "Dressed To Kill" (which I watched recently) together... And the one thing I would have done differently in that otherwise great great film ("Untouchables," not "Dressed...," which is a mess), is not cast wooden Kevin Costner in the Elliot Ness role. He is about as emotive as a tobacco shop indian. Can he be a worse actor? Take away his fame!

    "When a man with a rifle meets a man with a pistol, the man with the pistol is a dead man. You still believe that?"

    Heh heh!

    MC
    [email protected]

    "There's nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight." - Lon Chaney
  • Aaron
    Aaron Posts: 1,853
    edited October 2001
    Originally posted by Micah
    But see, I watched "Fistful of Dollars" this weekend (no better way to spend a chilly, rainy Baltimore Sunday night).
    There are better ways to spend a chilly, rainy night, Micah, unless things are really different in Baltimore.

    Aaron
  • RuSsMaN
    RuSsMaN Posts: 17,987
    edited October 2001
    Thats EXACTLY what I was thinking....

    ....I bet he wasn't wearing any pants either....

    R
    Check your lips at the door woman. Shake your hips like battleships. Yeah, all the white girls trip when I sing at Sunday service.
  • TroyD
    TroyD Posts: 13,077
    edited October 2001
    He probably had a fist full of something, and it wasn't dollars.

    Troy
    I plan for the future. - F1Nut
  • Micah Cohen
    Micah Cohen Posts: 2,022
    edited October 2001
    LOL!
    [email protected]

    "There's nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight." - Lon Chaney
  • George Grand
    George Grand Posts: 12,258
    edited October 2001
    My golden rule of movies that suck is:

    If I don't like it...well it sucks. Others may like it, but to me the movie still sucks. Pretty cut & dry rule. RULERS RULE!

    The Shah
  • Ron-P
    Ron-P Posts: 8,516
    edited October 2001
    He probably had a fist full of something, and it wasn't dollars.

    Crusty Socks?:eek:


    Peace Out~:D
    If...
    Ron dislikes a film = go out and buy it.
    Ron loves a film = don't even rent.
  • TroyD
    TroyD Posts: 13,077
    edited October 2001
    Great minds think alike buddy!

    Troy
    I plan for the future. - F1Nut