how i know a movie sucks

Micah Cohen · September 2001

I was watching "Finding Forrester" a couple days ago.

Not nearly as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Too long, but well acted by the kid. And Connery... Could read the phonebook on a white background and be a great actor.

But it occured to me that I know a movie isn't a "great movie" when at any point during the watching of said movie, I think to myself: "I would have done that differently."

Think about your favorite "great movie." I mean CLASSIC. Whether it's "Guns of Navarone" or "Raising Arizona," I bet that there's never a moment during the watching of that film that you even begin to think, "I would have directed/acted that scene differently," or "I could have done that better."

I would have made the Connery character ("Forrester") much more dirty and crotchety, much more neurotic and obsessive. Maybe I was projecting, but that's how I saw that that character would have been much more convincing. And I would have either chopped out the silly bit part with the girl (a hot perky little Anna Paquin), or I would have made her get naked in exchange for making the movie too long. And there was no need for the Matt "ubiquitous" Damon cameo at the end.

See? It's not a good movie, because I could have changed it to make it better.

MC

RuSsMaN · September 2001

Maybe you really are going to die miserable and alone.

Jeez.

R

George Grand · September 2001

Pay him no mind Micah. I have always felt I could have done a better job of creating life as we know it. Hey, you opened the door, I walked through.

George Grand (of the Jersey Grand's)

I-SIG · September 2001

Micah just wishes he was Forrester as he himself described him above.

Seriously, though I agree with the Anna Paquin comments whole-heartedly. I also agree that Matt Damon and all those other Jersey trilogy goons are showing up in too much random stuff. Kinda like Samuel L. Jackson in lead/supporting roles.

Wes

gidrah · September 2001

In the Marix, right after the big lobby shoot 'em up scene, they open the elevator. I would have liked it to have some cheezey Muzac playing. It would've been a great closer for the scene.

P.S. Great new forum.

jdelan · September 2001

IN Blazing Saddles, I would have made the Campfire scene longer...But the movie is still the best...

Micah Cohen · October 2001

But see, I watched "Fistful of Dollars" this weekend (no better way to spend a chilly, rainy Baltimore Sunday night). There is nothing I would have done differently. What a great, fun, iconographic film!

I also watched "Untouchables," just to be able to think about it and "Dressed To Kill" (which I watched recently) together... And the one thing I would have done differently in that otherwise great great film ("Untouchables," not "Dressed...," which is a mess), is not cast wooden Kevin Costner in the Elliot Ness role. He is about as emotive as a tobacco shop indian. Can he be a worse actor? Take away his fame!

"When a man with a rifle meets a man with a pistol, the man with the pistol is a dead man. You still believe that?"

Heh heh!

MC

Aaron · October 2001

Originally posted by Micah
But see, I watched "Fistful of Dollars" this weekend (no better way to spend a chilly, rainy Baltimore Sunday night).

There are better ways to spend a chilly, rainy night, Micah, unless things are really different in Baltimore.

Aaron

RuSsMaN · October 2001

Thats EXACTLY what I was thinking....

....I bet he wasn't wearing any pants either....

R

TroyD · October 2001

He probably had a fist full of something, and it wasn't dollars.

Troy

Micah Cohen · October 2001

LOL!

George Grand · October 2001

My golden rule of movies that suck is:

If I don't like it...well it sucks. Others may like it, but to me the movie still sucks. Pretty cut & dry rule. RULERS RULE!

The Shah

Ron-P · October 2001

He probably had a fist full of something, and it wasn't dollars.

Crusty Socks?:eek:

Peace Out~:D

TroyD · October 2001

Great minds think alike buddy!

Troy

how i know a movie sucks

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