Customer service.. Funny

jakelm

An email sent to me.. I cant tell you how many times I want to say this to some of my friends/customers who drop their PC off to me or call me about probelms.

This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long
time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true
story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording
monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk
employee was fired, however he i s
currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination
without Cause." This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations) starts
here:
Employee--"Rich Hall, Computer Assistance; may I help you?"

Customer--"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Employee--"What sort of trouble?"

Customer--"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden,
the words went away."

Employee--"Went away?"

Customer--"They disappeared."

Employee--"Hmmm So what does your screen look l ike now?"

Customer--"Nothing."

Employee--"Nothing?"

Customer--"It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."


Employee--"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

Customer--"How do I tell?"

Employee--"Can you see the 'C:' prompt on the screen?"

Customer--"What is a sea prompt?"

E mployee--"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?"

Customer--"There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."

Employee--"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Customer--"What's a monitor?"

Employee--"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like
a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Customer--"I don't know"

Employee--"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Customer--"Yes, I think so."

Employee--"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's plugged into the wall."

Customer--"Yes, it is."

Employee--"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Customer--"No."

Employee--"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
and find the ot her cable."

Customer--"Okay, here it is."

Employee--"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the back of your computer."

Customer--"I can't reach."

Employee--"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Customer--"No."

Employee--"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
way over?"

Customer--"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle,
it's because it's dark."

Employee--"Dark?"

Customer--"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I
have is coming in from the window."

Employee--"Well, turn on the office light then."

Customer--"I c a n't."

Employee--"No? Why not?"

Customer--"Because there's a power failure."

Employee--"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've
got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and the packing
stuff your computer came in?"

Customer--"Well, yes, I keep t hem in the closet."

Employee--"Good.. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from".

Customer--"Really? Is it that bad?"

Employee--"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Customer--"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them?"

Employee--"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer

Ricardo

I know more than a couple people like that customer.

jakelm

The funny thing about this is, I had a coworker come to me this morning saying her PC was not turning on. I saw the PC running, reached behind the monitor and plugged the power cord back in. She had unplugged it to clean her desk.

cruzer

Thanks for the reminder on why I won't work a help desk job.

I have a hard time working with stupidity. :rolleyes:

jgido759

shadowofnight

I have tried the phone tech deal with family members and friends...and no matter how much I love/like them I am ready to rip somebodies face off at the end of the call....there is no way in hell I could phone tech strangers...it would be an ugly situation

dragon1952

I used to help man a telecommunications help desk. Our users used PC's and terminals. One of our guys would get so frustrated occassionally that he'd tell the customer "Can you excuse me for a second?" and then he'd pound the phone on his desk for about 10 seconds. Then he'd go back and say "OK...where were we?"

venomclan

When I call customer assistance, all I get is India.
V

obieone

I've tried helping my brother w/ his pc. It's point and click? just to do Windows update, clear his history,etc. And he starts FREAKING out, like he's gonna cut loose the 'launch codes' LOL
The techno-phobia that runs in my family!!!
Luckily I don't have to do ANY customer service. I walk in and say 'I'm here for the HVAC', then, 'I'm done, Please sign here'! I don't even tell the store mgr.'s what's WRONG with it. It's great!

BaggedLancer

venomclan wrote: »

When I call customer assistance, all I get is India.
V

Consider yourself lucky, I get Costa Rica.

nms

I had to call customer service for my laptop (lenovo) recently: I was having software issues and it was time for a re-install, but I could not get to the partition on the HDD that had the image on it. So I called CS, got routed through georgia to a fellow who sounded like he didn't make it past 3rd grade. He told me it would cost $45 to send me the recovery CDs. I mentioned my wireless software was ****, and he got rid of me by passing me off to another dept in Pakistan or somewhere. Got a guy named Mohammad (no, seriously) who sent me the CDs for free.

Conclusion? Foreign CS isn't all bad, and isn't any worse than when it's run from the States.

venomclan

BaggedLancer wrote: »

Consider yourself lucky, I get Costa Rica.

I would not mind Costa Rica, ever see the girls there? Hubba Hubba

izafar

dragon1952 wrote: »

I used to help man a telecommunications help desk. Our users used PC's and terminals. One of our guys would get so frustrated occassionally that he'd tell the customer "Can you excuse me for a second?" and then he'd pound the phone on his desk for about 10 seconds. Then he'd go back and say "OK...where were we?"

Well this happens the other way around too....

This weekend my cable service went out and I have to call Comcast many times. Although there was an outage in the area but I have to go through a painful process with customer service rep just to get en ETA. All reps want to go through the debug script first before checking for outages, On the fourth call the Customer service lady was doing the usual debug and added a new step to it.

Rep: what lights are on your modem
Me: Power light is on and DS light is blinking.

Rep: We need to reset the modem (walks me through the steps)

Rep: Now what lights are on
Me: Power light is on and DS light is blinking.

Rep: Is your the power cable connected to a wall outlet or a surge protector.
Me: (what the **** she is talking about...) it is plagged in a surge protector

Rep: Sir please remove the plug from the surge prtoctor and plug it direct;ly to the wall
Me: but the power light is on....

Rep: (now speaking rudely) Sir please remove the plug from the surge protector and plug it directly to the wall

Me: hold on a minute (banged my head on the wall as I didn't want to pound my cell phone on desk. and left the plug where it is ) Now it is plugged in the wall

Rep: Now what lights are on
Me: Power light is on and DS light is blinking.

Rep: Hold on a minute

Rep: Sir there is an outage is your area. Your service should be up in 4 hours

Mike Kozak

tell me about it, I used to work for IBM on their help desk, got some real doozys (customers)

ryanjoachim

I work for HP tech support, and I have to say I've wanted to be that guy more than once.

As for izafar...

izafar wrote: »

Well this happens the other way around too....

This weekend my cable service went out and I have to call Comcast many times. Although there was an outage in the area but I have to go through a painful process with customer service rep just to get en ETA. All reps want to go through the debug script first before checking for outages, On the fourth call the Customer service lady was doing the usual debug and added a new step to it.

Rep: what lights are on your modem
Me: Power light is on and DS light is blinking.

Rep: We need to reset the modem (walks me through the steps)

Rep: Now what lights are on
Me: Power light is on and DS light is blinking.

Rep: Is your the power cable connected to a wall outlet or a surge protector.
Me: (what the **** she is talking about...) it is plagged in a surge protector

Rep: Sir please remove the plug from the surge prtoctor and plug it direct;ly to the wall
Me: but the power light is on....

Rep: (now speaking rudely) Sir please remove the plug from the surge protector and plug it directly to the wall

Me: hold on a minute (banged my head on the wall as I didn't want to pound my cell phone on desk. and left the plug where it is ) Now it is plugged in the wall

Rep: Now what lights are on
Me: Power light is on and DS light is blinking.

Rep: Hold on a minute

Rep: Sir there is an outage is your area. Your service should be up in 4 hours

Unfortunately, plugging a device directly into the wall instead of a powerstrip is a viable troubleshooting step. Sometimes different devices pull more power that normal, and when this happens other devices are not able to pull as much power as the normally do. This can lead to different types of errors and such.
Not sure if that step was applicable for your situation, but just letting you know.