the health bar taste test, part I

Micah Cohen
Micah Cohen Posts: 2,022
edited February 2024 in Clubhouse Archives
FOR REFERENCE:

Milky Way Bar by M&MMars
Fat 10g
Sodium .095g
Carbs 41g
Protein 2g
(http://www.milkywaybar.com/)

How does it taste? Like a dreamy, mousselike chocolatey, nougatty caramelly explosion of chocolate softness in my mouth. Mmmm.

McDonald's single cheeseburger
Fat 14g
Sodium 830mg
Carbs 36g
Protein 15g
(http://www.mcdonalds.com/countries/usa/food/nutrition_facts/sandfries/index.html)

How does it taste? Like a wet smooth stone glopped with slimey cheese and mustard placed between two thin sponges.

THE HEALTH BAR TASTE TEST, Part I:

Powerbar Harvest Whole Grain Energy Bar
Double Chocolate "Dipped" Flavor
Fat 5g
Sodium 100g
Carbs 45g
Protein 7g

How does it taste? Sort of Granola-bar-ish, with some sour "healthy taste" bite to it. Nutty yet bland. Palatable if you insist.

Biochem Ultimate Protein Bar
Chocolate Chocolate Dream Flavor
Fat 6g
Sodium 55g
Carbs 20g
Protein 32g

How does it taste? Chewy with a good start of chocolate, and an enjoyable mid-section. Horrible bitter aftertaste that makes the thought of taking a second bite seem like torture.

Biochem Ultimate Lo Carb Bar
Cool Cappucino Flavor
Fat 6g
Sodium 320g
Carbs 2g
Protein 19g

How does it taste? Awful, like chemically treated styrofoam packing material dipped in day old dog **** and rolled in salt.

LUNA Cliff Bar ("for women")
**** Over Chocolate Flavor
Fat 4.5g
Sodium 100g
Carbs 24g
Protein 10g

How does it taste? Not bad; nutty and chocolatey, sort of like a candy bar. But the bitter aftertaste ruins any good feelings, tho, as does the high carb count.

Balance Gold Energy Bar
Chocolate Peanut Butter Flavor
Fat 7g
Sodium 125g
Carbs 22g
Protein 15g

How does it taste? "PEANUT" butter?! More like "toxic waste" butter.

Think! Protein Bar
Peanut Butter Caramel Flavor
Fat 9g
Sodium 240g
Carbs 19g
Protein 22g

How does it taste? Saw-dusty, slightly woodsy caramel taste; edible but bland and candyish. Gets weird in the end tho, so you don't want to take another bite, unfortunately.

"Dr. Soy" Soy Protein Bar
Double Chocolate Flavor
Fat 3g
Sodium 170g
Carbs 27g
Protein 12g

How does it taste? Like dry cardboard rubbed with garden dirt.

STAY TUNED!
ultramicah@yahoo.com

"There's nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight." - Lon Chaney
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
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Comments

  • Ron-P
    Ron-P Posts: 8,520
    edited October 2002
    I'd rather eat this...

    Winona_Ryder_index.jpg

    ...it's fat free.


    Peace Out~:D
    If...
    Ron dislikes a film = go out and buy it.
    Ron loves a film = don't even rent.
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  • Micah Cohen
    Micah Cohen Posts: 2,022
    edited October 2002
    And not hampered by a brain! Shoplifting for "a role." Uh, huh. Stick to the topic, will ya.

    MC
    ultramicah@yahoo.com

    "There's nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight." - Lon Chaney
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  • madmax
    madmax Posts: 12,434
    edited October 2002
    Doesn't it make you wonder what he SHOULD have been doing instead of this taste test?
    madmax
    Vinyl, the final frontier...

    Avantgarde horns, 300b tubes, thats the kinda crap I want... :D
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  • TroyD
    TroyD Posts: 13,093
    edited October 2002
    York Peppermint Patties.....quite possibly the perfect food.


    BDT
    I plan for the future. - F1Nut
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  • Ron-P
    Ron-P Posts: 8,520
    edited October 2002
    And not hampered by a brain! Shoplifting for "a role." Uh, huh.

    That's Irrelevant. Besides, beer is the perfect food.


    Peace Out~:D
    If...
    Ron dislikes a film = go out and buy it.
    Ron loves a film = don't even rent.
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  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited October 2002
    And your point of this little excercise is.............?
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
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  • HBombToo
    HBombToo Posts: 5,256
    edited October 2002
    Don't forget the smoked oysters with the Beer.
    ***WAREMTAE***
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  • Systems
    Systems Posts: 14,873
    edited October 2002
    the point? you want a point? since when do we have to start having a point in the off topic forum? with standards like that, you might as well shut it down!:lol:
    Testing
    Testing
    Testing
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  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited October 2002
    I'm sorry....I didn't realize what I was saying!
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
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  • brettw22
    brettw22 Posts: 7,623
    edited November 2002
    Originally posted by Micah
    FOR REFERENCE:Biochem Ultimate Protein Bar
    Chocolate Chocolate Dream Flavor
    Fat 6g
    Sodium 55g
    Carbs 20g
    Protein 32g

    How does it taste? Chewy with a good start of chocolate, and an enjoyable mid-section. Horrible bitter aftertaste that makes the thought of taking a second bite seem like torture.

    Biochem Ultimate Lo Carb Bar
    Cool Cappucino Flavor
    Fat 6g
    Sodium 320g
    Carbs 2g
    Protein 19g

    How does it taste? Awful, like chemically treated styrofoam packing material dipped in day old dog **** and rolled in salt.

    LUNA Cliff Bar ("for women")
    **** Over Chocolate Flavor
    Fat 4.5g
    Sodium 100g
    Carbs 24g
    Protein 10g

    How does it taste? Not bad; nutty and chocolatey, sort of like a candy bar. But the bitter aftertaste ruins any good feelings, tho, as does the high carb count.

    I made it to the day old dog **** and was tearing up and laughing.

    I then had to ask why you were eating a Cliff Bar "for Women." You goin for the P.C. post? :lol:
    comment comment comment comment. bitchy.
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  • Micah Cohen
    Micah Cohen Posts: 2,022
    edited November 2002
    I didn't notice it was "for women" till way after I bought it. Believe me. It was recommended to me by a friend (a "woman" actually now that I think about it... Hmmm).

    More soon. As soon as I get back to Fresh Fields to buy more of these stupid things.

    MC
    ultramicah@yahoo.com

    "There's nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight." - Lon Chaney
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  • trubluluc
    trubluluc Posts: 2,067
    edited November 2002
    I easily eat a box (12) of power bars a week.
    Not a big fan of sickly sweet bars.
    If I want candy, I'll eat candy.
    Try the Odwalla superfood bars.
    Moist, cookie like, not too sweet, but tasty.
    Get past the greenish (blue green algae)
    color and enjoy.


    -Luc
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  • phuz
    phuz Posts: 2,372
    edited November 2002
    Tigers Milk man, TIGERS MILK BARS RULE! "Healthy" and full of carbs too....
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