The Laws Of Life

Frank Z
Frank Z Posts: 5,860
edited November 2007 in The Clubhouse
1: Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

2: Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3: Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4: Law of the Telephone
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

5: Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6: Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7: Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8: Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9: Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10: Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11: Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12: Law of Coffee
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13: Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14: Law of Rugs/Carpets
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

15: Law of Location
No matter where you go, there you are.

16: Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

17: Brown's Law
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

18: Oliver's Law
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19: Wilson's Law
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)

20: Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
Post edited by Frank Z on
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Comments

  • lightman1
    lightman1 Posts: 10,794
    edited November 2007
    Sage advice there. #3 happens to me quite a bit.
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  • Serendipity
    Serendipity Posts: 6,975
    edited November 2007
    Haha, #20 is hilarious. I'm sick right now with a fever and I'm debating whether or not to go to the doctor. However, usually when I go to the doctor I'm getting better already. If I don't go to the doctor I'll either remain sick or spend my time in bed on CP :) At least I hope that will make me feel better.
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  • danger boy
    danger boy Posts: 15,722
    edited November 2007
    #19 is so true.. this happens to me like all the time.. i find something I really like... like some food item. then BAM, it's gone like no body's business. why do they do that?
    PolkFest 2012, who's going>?
    Vancouver, Canada Sept 30th, 2012 - Madonna concert :cheesygrin:
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited November 2007
    Number 6 is 100% true with regards to traffic.....and it's completely obnoxious.
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  • Serendipity
    Serendipity Posts: 6,975
    edited November 2007
    I also wonder why everytime I get sick I have a midterm (and papers due) the upcoming Monday.

    ARGH!
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited November 2007
    appadv wrote: »
    I also wonder why everytime I get sick I have a midterm (and papers due) the next Monday.

    ARGH!

    Glad I'm outta the testing stage of college! Now it's nothing but papers and presentations.

    #2 should be changed to any tool when dropped lands directly on your foot....I ALWAYS drop it on my foot, never fails.
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  • Serendipity
    Serendipity Posts: 6,975
    edited November 2007
    BaggedLancer wrote: »
    Glad I'm outta the testing stage of college! Now it's nothing but papers and presentations.

    Yeah, good thing I started to study, but I really wanted to study more this weekend. Oh well :(

    Are you a senior?
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited November 2007
    appadv wrote: »
    Yeah, good thing I started to study, but I really wanted to study more this weekend. Oh well :(

    Are you a senior?

    Yep, 5th year(5 year school, co-op program, no I'm not an idiot despite what some think)
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  • Serendipity
    Serendipity Posts: 6,975
    edited November 2007
    BaggedLancer wrote: »
    Yep, 5th year(5 year school, co-op program, no I'm not an idiot despite what some think)

    Northeastern?
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited November 2007
    appadv wrote: »
    Northeastern?

    Si, Senor.(sorry ricardo for punctuation.)

    Oh and for #1.......who cares...just scratch or pee?
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  • Serendipity
    Serendipity Posts: 6,975
    edited November 2007
    BaggedLancer wrote: »
    Si, Senor.(sorry ricardo for punctuation.)

    Oh and for #1.......who cares...just scratch or pee?

    Nice! Always wanted to go to NEU, but even with a scholarship I couldn't afford it. Man I'm jealous...

    As for #1, yes...just scratch!
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  • audiobliss
    audiobliss Posts: 12,518
    edited November 2007
    Yes. Unfortunately number 19 is true. I LOVED Vanilla Coke, but of COURSE they decided to stop making it. Or, actually, I think they just stopped distributing it in this area. Regardless, I never see it anymore. :(
    George Grand wrote: »
    Jstas wrote: »
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,136
    edited November 2007
    BaggedLancer wrote: »
    no I'm not an idiot despite what some think)

    AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaah yeaha:D
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  • petrym
    petrym Posts: 1,912
    edited November 2007
    Gravity, it's a law you will obey at all times. :D
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  • WilliamM2
    WilliamM2 Posts: 4,781
    edited November 2007
    audiobliss wrote: »
    Yes. Unfortunately number 19 is true. I LOVED Vanilla Coke, but of COURSE they decided to stop making it. Or, actually, I think they just stopped distributing it in this area. Regardless, I never see it anymore. :(

    They did stop making it for about a year. It is available again now. I just found out a couple of months ago.

    Around here I can only find it in real grocery stores, not at gas stations convenience stores etc. Have 24 12 packs sitting in the basement.:)
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  • audiobliss
    audiobliss Posts: 12,518
    edited November 2007
    WilliamM2 wrote: »
    They did stop making it for about a year. It is available again now. I just found out a couple of months ago.

    Around here I can only find it in real grocery stores, not at gas stations convenience stores etc. Have 24 12 packs sitting in the basement.:)
    Awesome! I'll definitely be looking for it the next time I go to a grocery store. However, I usually reserve sodas for when I'm eating out or getting a drink at a gas station and try to drink more water and milk at home...:(.

    Thanks for the info, though...and I'll be over in a bit to help out with all of yours!
    George Grand wrote: »
    Jstas wrote: »
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
    In Use
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  • SKsolutions
    SKsolutions Posts: 1,820
    edited November 2007
    LAW OF ATTRACTION:

    When you're in a relationship, it rains women.
    When you're single, you get phone numbers to the nearest laundr-O-mat.
    -Ignorance is strength -
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  • petrym
    petrym Posts: 1,912
    edited November 2007
    SKsolutions wrote: »
    When you're in a relationship, it rains women.
    When you are carrying a baby, women will come up to you.
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  • bobman1235
    bobman1235 Posts: 10,822
    edited November 2007
    appadv wrote: »
    Nice! Always wanted to go to NEU, but even with a scholarship I couldn't afford it. Man I'm jealous...

    None of us who went could afford it, we just pay for it for the next 20 years.... Ugh.

    Only 53k dollars to go!
    If you will it, dude, it is no dream.
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  • audiobliss
    audiobliss Posts: 12,518
    edited November 2007
    $53k a year? That is pretty steep....:eek:


    Sounds like another Duke...
    George Grand wrote: »
    Jstas wrote: »
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
    In Use
    PS3, Yamaha CDR-HD1300, Plex, Amazon Fire TV Gen 2
    Pioneer Elite VSX-52, Parasound HCA-1000A
    Klipsch RF-82ii, RC-62ii, RS-42ii, RW-10d
    Epson 8700UB
    In Storage
    [Home Audio]
    Rotel RCD-02, Yamaha KX-W900U, Sony ST-S500ES, Denon DP-7F
    Pro-Ject Phono Box MKII, Parasound P/HP-850, ASL Wave 20 monoblocks
    Klipsch RF-35, RB-51ii
    [Car Audio]
    Pioneer Premier DEH-P860MP, Memphis 16-MCA3004, Boston Acoustic RC520
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