Only in America :)
SLOCOOKN
Posts: 704
>
> >1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your
> >house faster than an ambulance.
> >
> >2. Only in America....are
> >there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
> >
> >3. Only in America......do drugstores make the
> >sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
> >healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
> >
> >4. Only in America......do people order double
> >cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
> >
> >5. Only in America.....do banks leave both
> >doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
> >
> >6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth
> >thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the
> >garage.
> >
> >7. Only in America......do we use answering
> >machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
> >
> >8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in
> >packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
> >
> >9. Only in America......do we use the word
> >'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
> >.
> >10. Only in America......do they have drive-up
> >ATM's with Braille lettering.
> >
> >EVER WONDER
> >Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
> >
> >Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
> >
> >Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery> >
> >Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
> >
> >Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
> >
> >Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
> >
> >Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
> >
> >Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
> >
> >Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
> >
> >When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
> >
> >Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
> >
> >Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
> >
> >You know that indestructible black box that is used on
> >airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??
> >
> >Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
> >
> >Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
> >
> >If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
> >
> >If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
> >
> >
> >In case you needed further proof that
> >the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label
> >instructions on consumer goods:
> >
> >On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
> >
> >On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
> >inside. (the shoplifter special)?
> >
> >On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: <BR>Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
> >
> >On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a
> >suggestion).
> >
> >On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do <not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
> >
> >On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you
> >thought????...)
> >
> >On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
> >
> >On Boot's Children CoughMedicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
> >medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if
> >we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
> >forklifts.)
> >
> >On NytolSleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
> >(and.. I'm taking this because???....)
> >
> >On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
> >
> >On aJapanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody
> >out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
> >
> >On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
> >
> >On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step
> >3: maybe, uh..fly Delta?)
> >
> >On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame
> >the parents for this one.)
> >
> >On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening
> >somewhere?)
> >On Korean Kitchen Knife: "Warning: Keep out of children"
> >
> >Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread
> >the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even
> >a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile
> >everyday.
> >1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your
> >house faster than an ambulance.
> >
> >2. Only in America....are
> >there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
> >
> >3. Only in America......do drugstores make the
> >sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
> >healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
> >
> >4. Only in America......do people order double
> >cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
> >
> >5. Only in America.....do banks leave both
> >doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
> >
> >6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth
> >thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the
> >garage.
> >
> >7. Only in America......do we use answering
> >machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
> >
> >8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in
> >packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
> >
> >9. Only in America......do we use the word
> >'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
> >.
> >10. Only in America......do they have drive-up
> >ATM's with Braille lettering.
> >
> >EVER WONDER
> >Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
> >
> >Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
> >
> >Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery> >
> >Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
> >
> >Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
> >
> >Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
> >
> >Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
> >
> >Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
> >
> >Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
> >
> >When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
> >
> >Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
> >
> >Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
> >
> >You know that indestructible black box that is used on
> >airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??
> >
> >Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
> >
> >Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
> >
> >If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
> >
> >If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
> >
> >
> >In case you needed further proof that
> >the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label
> >instructions on consumer goods:
> >
> >On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
> >
> >On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
> >inside. (the shoplifter special)?
> >
> >On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: <BR>Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
> >
> >On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a
> >suggestion).
> >
> >On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do <not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
> >
> >On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you
> >thought????...)
> >
> >On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
> >
> >On Boot's Children CoughMedicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
> >medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if
> >we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
> >forklifts.)
> >
> >On NytolSleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
> >(and.. I'm taking this because???....)
> >
> >On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
> >
> >On aJapanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody
> >out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
> >
> >On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
> >
> >On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step
> >3: maybe, uh..fly Delta?)
> >
> >On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame
> >the parents for this one.)
> >
> >On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening
> >somewhere?)
> >On Korean Kitchen Knife: "Warning: Keep out of children"
> >
> >Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread
> >the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even
> >a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile
> >everyday.
:eek: From the bottom it looks like a steep incline, From the top another down hill slope of mine.:mad: But I know the equilibrium's there!:cool: .."Faith No More" 
Sony cx985v (for now)
BBE 482i
B&K AVP 1030
Adcom GFA 555 mk 2
AudioQuest Crystal 2 spk wire
Nordost RCA
SDA 3.1 tl RD0 tweets
Belkin pf60
Carver TFM 55x
Signal Analog 2 RCA
AudioQuestType 4
VMPS Original Tall Boy (Mega Woofers soon)
Sony cx985v (for now)
BBE 482i
B&K AVP 1030
Adcom GFA 555 mk 2
AudioQuest Crystal 2 spk wire
Nordost RCA
SDA 3.1 tl RD0 tweets
Belkin pf60
Carver TFM 55x
Signal Analog 2 RCA
AudioQuestType 4
VMPS Original Tall Boy (Mega Woofers soon)
Post edited by SLOCOOKN on
Comments
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ive always wondered why if your driving bad enough to get into a wreck its called wreckless???
-
I like when "priceless" works of art, jewelry, etc. sell at auctions for tons of money.Stereo Rig: Hales Revelation 3, Musical Fidelity CD-Pre 24, Forte Model 3 amp, Lexicon RT-10 SACD, MMF-5 w/speedbox, Forte Model 2 Phono Pre, Cardas Crosslink, APC H15, URC MX-950, Lovan Stand
Bedroom: Samsung HPR-4252, Toshiba HD-A2, HK 3480, Signal Cable, AQ speaker cable, Totem Dreamcatchers, SVS PB10-NSD, URC MX-850 -
Resurrected from the dead… Things that make you go hmmAC Regenerator PS Audio PerfectWave Power Plant 10
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Some great stuff here 👍
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I remember when G A Y meant happy. Now the word gets censored by a frakin’ computer and some butthurt snowflakes wearing bunny ear slippers in their mommy’s basement.The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
>> You label yourself a socialist, then act surprised when the Russians are helping your presidential bid.Don't take experimental gene therapies from known eugenicists.
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nooshinjohn wrote: »I remember when G A Y meant happy. Now the word gets censored by a frakin’ computer and some butthurt snowflakes wearing bunny ear slippers in their mommy’s basement.
You remember that? Are you 110? -
It's still listed as an adjective according to Webster's dictionary since 1828.Don't take experimental gene therapies from known eugenicists.
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If you took a ****.... PUT IT BACK!!!!My New Year's resolution is 3840 × 2160
Family Room| Marantz AV7704| Usher Dancer Mini - 2 DMD Mains |Usher Dancer Mini-x DMD's Surrounds | Usher BE-616 DMD Center | SVS Ultra Rear Surrounds | Parasound Halo A21 | Parsound Halo A52+ | MIT Shotgun S3's | Dual SVS SB 4000 Ultras | Oppo UDP 203 | Directv Genie HD DVR | Samsung 75" Q8 QLED | PSAudio Stellar GCD | Mytek Brooklyn DAC+ | Lumin U1 Mini | HP Elite Slice PC | ROON'd for life |
ManCave: HT:Polk LSiM 706VR3 LSiM 703's LSiM 702's|| Marantz AV7002 AV PrePro Sunfire TGA-7401| Sony PS4 Pro| Sony PS4 Pro|SVS PB13 Ultra| Oppo UDP 203 | Music Hall MMF 5.3se TT w/ Soundsmith Carmen | Samsung 55" SUHD TV | Sony PS4
Patio | Polk Atrium 8's | Yamaha R-N303BL |
Office BlueSound Node| KEF LS50 | Peactree Nova 125SE |
Bedroom | Focal 905's | Chromecast Audio |
Garage | Polk Monitor 5B's
Closet Yamaha M80 | 2 Polk MP3K subs| Yaqin MC100B with Shuguang Treasures KT 88's & CV181Z's | Tesla E83CC's | Marantz 2252B | Marantz 2385 |Polk SDA SRS 2.3 | LSiM 705's | -
It's still listed as an adjective according to Webster's dictionary since 1828.
Webster's dictionary is so yesterday....you know people use the "Urban Dictionary" now2-channel: Modwright KWI-200 Integrated, Dynaudio C1-II Signatures
Desktop rig: LSi7, Polk 110sub, Dayens Ampino amp, W4S DAC/pre, Sonos, JRiver
Gear on standby: Melody 101 tube pre, Unison Research Simply Italy Integrated
Gone to new homes: (Matt Polk's)Threshold Stasis SA12e monoblocks, Pass XA30.5 amp, Usher MD2 speakers, Dynaudio C4 platinum speakers, Modwright LS100 (voltz), Simaudio 780D DAC
erat interfectorem cesar et **** dictatorem dicere a -
Only in America we use the word apartment...yet they are so close together2-channel: Modwright KWI-200 Integrated, Dynaudio C1-II Signatures
Desktop rig: LSi7, Polk 110sub, Dayens Ampino amp, W4S DAC/pre, Sonos, JRiver
Gear on standby: Melody 101 tube pre, Unison Research Simply Italy Integrated
Gone to new homes: (Matt Polk's)Threshold Stasis SA12e monoblocks, Pass XA30.5 amp, Usher MD2 speakers, Dynaudio C4 platinum speakers, Modwright LS100 (voltz), Simaudio 780D DAC
erat interfectorem cesar et **** dictatorem dicere a -
Someone didn't read the whole list...
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Why do Kamikazee pilots wear helmets?My New Year's resolution is 3840 × 2160
Family Room| Marantz AV7704| Usher Dancer Mini - 2 DMD Mains |Usher Dancer Mini-x DMD's Surrounds | Usher BE-616 DMD Center | SVS Ultra Rear Surrounds | Parasound Halo A21 | Parsound Halo A52+ | MIT Shotgun S3's | Dual SVS SB 4000 Ultras | Oppo UDP 203 | Directv Genie HD DVR | Samsung 75" Q8 QLED | PSAudio Stellar GCD | Mytek Brooklyn DAC+ | Lumin U1 Mini | HP Elite Slice PC | ROON'd for life |
ManCave: HT:Polk LSiM 706VR3 LSiM 703's LSiM 702's|| Marantz AV7002 AV PrePro Sunfire TGA-7401| Sony PS4 Pro| Sony PS4 Pro|SVS PB13 Ultra| Oppo UDP 203 | Music Hall MMF 5.3se TT w/ Soundsmith Carmen | Samsung 55" SUHD TV | Sony PS4
Patio | Polk Atrium 8's | Yamaha R-N303BL |
Office BlueSound Node| KEF LS50 | Peactree Nova 125SE |
Bedroom | Focal 905's | Chromecast Audio |
Garage | Polk Monitor 5B's
Closet Yamaha M80 | 2 Polk MP3K subs| Yaqin MC100B with Shuguang Treasures KT 88's & CV181Z's | Tesla E83CC's | Marantz 2252B | Marantz 2385 |Polk SDA SRS 2.3 | LSiM 705's | -
2-channel: Modwright KWI-200 Integrated, Dynaudio C1-II Signatures
Desktop rig: LSi7, Polk 110sub, Dayens Ampino amp, W4S DAC/pre, Sonos, JRiver
Gear on standby: Melody 101 tube pre, Unison Research Simply Italy Integrated
Gone to new homes: (Matt Polk's)Threshold Stasis SA12e monoblocks, Pass XA30.5 amp, Usher MD2 speakers, Dynaudio C4 platinum speakers, Modwright LS100 (voltz), Simaudio 780D DAC
erat interfectorem cesar et **** dictatorem dicere a -
Gotta love it!😂"if it's not fun, it's not worth it & remember folks, "It's All About The Music"!!
***************************** -
Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?Samsung 60" UN60ES6100 LED, Outlaw Audio 976 Pre/Pro Samsung BDP, Amazon Firestick, Phillips CD Changer Canare 14 ga - LCR tweeters inside*; Ctr Ch outside BJC 10 ga: LCR mids “Foamed & Plugged**”, inside* & out
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*soldered **Rob the Man (Xschop) LR: Tri-amped RTi A7 w/Rotels. Woofers - 980BX; Tweets & Mids - 981, connected w/Monoprice Premiere ICs
Ctr Ch: Rotel RB981 -> Bi-amped CSi A6 Surrounds: Premiere ICs ->Rotel 981 -> AR 12 ga -> RTi A3. 5 Subs: Sunfire True SW Signature -> LFE & Ctr Ch; 4 Audio Pro Evidence @ the “Corners”. Power Conditioning & Distribution: 4 dedicated 20A feeds; APC H15; 5 Furman Miniport 20s -
You drive on a parkway and park on driveway.
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Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
Haha I didn't copy you. Looks like great minds think alike -
Why do we have speed limits on a freeway?The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
* If you're driving a car at the speed of light, and turn on the headlights, what happens?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
sorry, you got me thinkin' about George Carlin, which took me straight to Steven Wright.
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mhardy6647 wrote: »* If you're driving a car at the speed of light, and turn on the headlights, what happens?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
sorry, you got me thinkin' about George Carlin, which took me straight to Steven Wright.
With the head lights:
Time would stop (Time Dialation) and I dont think you would see much, but wait? What point of view does the observer have? Third party on the sidelines? Or the drivers perception? Lots to think about with that one! I think Time Dialation is the key to time travel. If anyone could travel at the speed of light they would be the first legit time traveler. -
But then again. Who would be crowned the first time traveler? The person who shows up from the future? Or the 1st person who leaves the present for a future or past time? Or are they one in the same?
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Now you know what it's like inside of Steven Wright's head.
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With the snow plow, they head in at the first sign of a snowflake. That call would be made by the duty foreman, and if needed a 4x4 crew truck would be dispatched.The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
mhardy6647 wrote: »Now you know what it's like inside of Steven Wright's head.
I love me some Steven Wright. He played the couch guy in the early Dave Chappelle movie Half Baked killed me. -
This came to my mind reading all of the stuff above. Didn't he start it?
https://youtu.be/ErppAlOIGQE "Sometimes you have to look to the past to understand where you are going in the future"Anger is just anger. It isn’t good. It isn’t bad. It just is. What you do with it is what matters.
You can use it to build or to destroy. You just have to make the choice. Jim Butcher
Harry / Marietta GA -
"You know that feeling when you are leaning back in a chair and you almost fall over, but catch yourself? I feel like that all the time." - Steven Wright
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"You know that feeling when you are leaning back in a chair and you almost fall over, but catch yourself? I feel like that all the time." - Steven Wright
One of my favorite observations of his -- I feel that way all the time, myself.
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Are you really going to "hit the road" or "run to the store"________________
2 Channel-Denon AVR-4520/SDA 2.3TL's
5.1-Denon AVR-4500h/RT3000P's/CS1000P/RT2000P's/ -
Or "grab" a shower.
