Great Comebacks

ND13
ND13 Posts: 7,601
edited November 2007 in The Clubhouse
DEFENDING AMERICA'S HONOR

Here are a few neat military comebacks...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush.

He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.

It became very quiet in the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'

Once again, dead silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

You could have heard a pin drop

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE

A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.

At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any damn Frenchmen to show it to."


How quickly they forget.
"SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAURICE,
CAUSE I SPEAK OF THE POMPITIOUS OF LOVE"
Post edited by ND13 on
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Comments

  • beardog03
    beardog03 Posts: 5,550
    edited November 2007
    Yeah Man !

    Thanks Noel...
    Great way to start my day !

    Hope all is well with you these days....
    Don`t hear from you as much as we used to....
    Cary SLP-98L F1 DC Pre Amp (Jag Blue)
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    Magnum Dynalab MD-102 Analog Tuna
    Jolida JD-100 CDP
    Polk Audio LSi9 Speaks (ebony)
    SVS PC-Ultra Sub
    AQ Bedrock Speaker Cables (Bi-Wired)
    MIT Shotgun S1 I/C`s
    AQ Black Thunder Sub Cables
    PS Audio Plus Power Cords
    Magnum Dynalab ST-2 FM Antenna
    Sanus Cherry wood Speak Stands
    Adona AV45CS3 / 3 Tier Rack (Black /Gold)

    :cool:
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  • ND13
    ND13 Posts: 7,601
    edited November 2007
    beardog03 wrote: »
    Yeah Man !

    Thanks Noel...
    Great way to start my day !

    Hope all is well with you these days....
    Don`t hear from you as much as we used to....

    To quote Troy...."Life is suck!"
    "SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAURICE,
    CAUSE I SPEAK OF THE POMPITIOUS OF LOVE"
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  • janmike
    janmike Posts: 6,146
    edited November 2007
    Don't you just love it when people become immediately silenced.
    Michael ;)
    In the beginning, all knowledge was new!
    NORTH of 60°
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  • strider
    strider Posts: 2,568
    edited November 2007
    Good stuff there, thanks for the post.
    Wristwatch--->Crisco
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  • exalted512
    exalted512 Posts: 10,735
    edited November 2007
    Pwned.
    -Cody
    Music is like candy, you have to get rid of the rappers to enjoy it
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  • ND13
    ND13 Posts: 7,601
    edited November 2007
    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?





    Democrat's Answer :


    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1 ?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, paint and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


    Republican's Answer:





    BANG!



    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    Click
    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
    Son: "Daddy, Can I shoot the next one?"
    Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!”

    :eek::eek::eek::p:p:p:cool::cool::cool:

    Oh...and I own that particular Kimber, too.:D
    "SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAURICE,
    CAUSE I SPEAK OF THE POMPITIOUS OF LOVE"
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  • beardog03
    beardog03 Posts: 5,550
    edited November 2007
    sorry to hear the life is suck, bro...
    You have going through some rough spots, that`s for sure


    hang in there bro.....
    Cary SLP-98L F1 DC Pre Amp (Jag Blue)
    Parasound HCA-3500
    Cary Audio V12 amp (Jag Red)
    Polk Audio Xm Reciever (Autographed by THE MAN Himself) :cool:
    Magnum Dynalab MD-102 Analog Tuna
    Jolida JD-100 CDP
    Polk Audio LSi9 Speaks (ebony)
    SVS PC-Ultra Sub
    AQ Bedrock Speaker Cables (Bi-Wired)
    MIT Shotgun S1 I/C`s
    AQ Black Thunder Sub Cables
    PS Audio Plus Power Cords
    Magnum Dynalab ST-2 FM Antenna
    Sanus Cherry wood Speak Stands
    Adona AV45CS3 / 3 Tier Rack (Black /Gold)

    :cool:
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  • Fireman32
    Fireman32 Posts: 4,845
    edited November 2007
    Nice!!
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  • audiobliss
    audiobliss Posts: 12,518
    edited November 2007
    Those are awesome, Noel! And, you hang in there!
    George Grand wrote: »
    Jstas wrote: »
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
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    In Storage
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  • TroyD
    TroyD Posts: 13,077
    edited November 2007
    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa

    good stuff there...

    BDT
    I plan for the future. - F1Nut
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  • Systems
    Systems Posts: 14,873
    edited November 2007
    The American Admirals response to the French Admiral is priceless. They very well could have been speaking German.
    Testing
    Testing
    Testing
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