Today's memo from work, part 3 - food theft update

Danny Tse
Danny Tse Posts: 5,206
edited January 2008 in The Clubhouse
Just came over the e-mail....
I've met this morning with (edited - name removed to protect the innocent), head of our Security Staff, to discuss the various reported incidents of food and beverage thefts that have occurred in recent months. Although these incidents look to involve petty thefts (a sandwich, a yogurt, a soda, a candy bar, etc.) the number of incidents is concerning to us. As such, we're exploring various options with Security. In the mean time, (edit - same guy as above) has committed to increasing the rounds for security guards on the 3rd floor.

If you experience any additional incidents of theft at work (whether they concern food/drinks from the refrigerator or other personal items from your desk), please let us (i.e., your supe, manager and/or me) know or contact Security directly (but cc us) so we can better gauge the problem and evaluate potential trends with these incidents. A written note summarizing details of an incident would be useful, even if it involves an inexpensive item.

I thank those for taking the time to report their incidents.
Post edited by Danny Tse on
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Comments

  • steveinaz
    steveinaz Posts: 19,536
    edited October 2007
    Did they put a cover sheet on that TPS report?
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  • Danny Tse
    Danny Tse Posts: 5,206
    edited October 2007
    Nah, I could've easily delete the e-mail like all others the supes send my way.

    Seems they're putting some effort into solving this crime.
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  • steveinaz
    steveinaz Posts: 19,536
    edited October 2007
    Could you see the line of questioning with this:

    Cop: Sir, where exactly was the twinkie when you last observed it?
    Bob: Umm, in the fridge on the door, 3rd shelf up next to that green furry thing in the plastic wrap.
    Cop: That green furry thing (cop points)?
    Bob: No sir, this one (Bob points at the door)?
    Cop: Check.
    Cop: Bill...
    Bob:...uh, it's "Bob"
    Cop: Oh sorry...Ed, what did this twinkie run ya?
    Bob: 75 cents out of the machine downstairs.
    Cop: Holy crap, twinkies are 75 cents now? sheesh. I would have opted for the Snickers bar.
    Bob: I'll keep that in mind...SOOOOO...any chance I'll see my twinkie again officer?
    Cop: I doubt it BILL. These things are usually gone in 60 seconds--especially in an office environment; ya know---destroy the evidence quick--no witness, no evidence sort of scenario.
    Cop: Ok, that just about wraps this up, we'll be in contact Bob.
    Bob: Hey thanks, you remembered my name finally.
    Cop: No problem Bill, we pride ourselves on being one with our surroundings. Have a crime free day sir.
    Bob: *sigh*
    Source: Bluesound Node 2i - Preamp/DAC: Benchmark DAC2 DX - Amp: Parasound Halo A21 - Speakers: MartinLogan Motion 60XTi - Shop Rig: Yamaha A-S501 Integrated - Shop Spkrs: Elac Debut 2.0 B5.2
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  • polkatese
    polkatese Posts: 6,767
    edited October 2007
    now, that takes some creative imagination, Stevie!

    funny.

    btw, I suspect the next big item on the thief list would be bottled water, now that SF is on a mission to make govt/city employees to experience the refreshing taste of tap water.
    I am sorry, I have no opinion on the matter. I am sure you do. So, don't mind me, I just want to talk audio and pie.
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  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited October 2007
    Can intervention by Jessie Jackson, Al Sharpton and Nancy Pelosi be far behind. This is obviously an illegal crackdown by the government against hungry people. Just another beatdown by THE MAN. Power to the stomach!
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
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  • steveinaz
    steveinaz Posts: 19,536
    edited October 2007
    Tonight on "Mark Furman Investigates" we delve into the sorted life of office food snatchers; parental guidance suggested.
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  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited October 2007
    Bad Boyz, Bad Boyz...whatcha gonna do......

    Whatcha gonna do when they come for you.....

    "DROP THE SANDWICH....NOW!"
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
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  • Systems
    Systems Posts: 14,873
    edited October 2007
    Heehee, you know whats funny is that this actually happens in the corp world. People put food in the fridge and someone takes it and eats it.
    Testing
    Testing
    Testing
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  • polkatese
    polkatese Posts: 6,767
    edited October 2007
    ...but only a govt/city office would treat it as a misdeameanor and in such a seriousness.
    I am sorry, I have no opinion on the matter. I am sure you do. So, don't mind me, I just want to talk audio and pie.
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  • F1nut
    F1nut Posts: 50,447
    edited October 2007
    shack wrote: »
    Can intervention by Jessie Jackson, Al Sharpton and Nancy Pelosi be far behind. This is obviously an illegal crackdown by the government against hungry people. Just another beatdown by THE MAN. Power to the stomach!

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    Political Correctness'.........defined

    "A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."

    President of Club Polk

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  • PolkThug
    PolkThug Posts: 7,532
    edited October 2007
    priceless!
    Never Forget
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  • AndyGwis
    AndyGwis Posts: 3,655
    edited October 2007
    Dude, reading your emails makes me happy I'm still at Initech, even if Lumberg's having me work a full day tomorrow (Saturday).
    Stereo Rig: Hales Revelation 3, Musical Fidelity CD-Pre 24, Forte Model 3 amp, Lexicon RT-10 SACD, MMF-5 w/speedbox, Forte Model 2 Phono Pre, Cardas Crosslink, APC H15, URC MX-950, Lovan Stand
    Bedroom: Samsung HPR-4252, Toshiba HD-A2, HK 3480, Signal Cable, AQ speaker cable, Totem Dreamcatchers, SVS PB10-NSD, URC MX-850
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  • PhantomOG
    PhantomOG Posts: 2,409
    edited October 2007
    something tells me yesterday's email might somehow be related to today's....
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  • Danny Tse
    Danny Tse Posts: 5,206
    edited October 2007
    polkatese wrote: »
    btw, I suspect the next big item on the thief list would be bottled water, now that SF is on a mission to make govt/city employees to experience the refreshing taste of tap water.

    We have filtered water delivered to the office and it's available to those who are willing to pay $6.00/per quarter to join the "water club". I kid you not. :D

    BTW, coffee is $0.25/per cup here at the office.
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  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited October 2007
    You need to get into the "private" sector. Coffee AND the water cooler are FREE! The perks are great.
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
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  • RuSsMaN
    RuSsMaN Posts: 17,987
    edited October 2007
    I'm not proud of it, but years ago I went in to work on a Saturday, duffle bag in hand, and did my grocery shopping. Breakfast sammiches, frozen dinners, pockets etc. Cokes, juices, teas. Half a birthday cake.

    Good eats.
    Check your lips at the door woman. Shake your hips like battleships. Yeah, all the white girls trip when I sing at Sunday service.
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  • polkatese
    polkatese Posts: 6,767
    edited October 2007
    Danny Tse wrote: »
    We have filtered water delivered to the office and it's available to those who are willing to pay $6.00/per quarter to join the "water club". I kid you not. :D

    BTW, coffee is $0.25/per cup here at the office.

    What Shack said. Some of the tech companies along 101 and even SFDC on 1 Market have free cappucinos machine for employee uses in every floor.
    I am sorry, I have no opinion on the matter. I am sure you do. So, don't mind me, I just want to talk audio and pie.
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  • Danny Tse
    Danny Tse Posts: 5,206
    edited January 2008
    This e-mail was just send over by the supervisor....
    Unfortunately, we have had another reported incident of food being removed without authorization from the refrigerator in Room 3202. This time some leftover Chinese food placed there yesterday was discovered to be missing this morning. If anyone know anything about this incident, please see me.

    Please know that stealing food is an unacceptable action and is a basis for disciplinary actions.

    :D
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  • ninerbj
    ninerbj Posts: 870
    edited January 2008
    *burp*
    "she had the body of Venus, with arms."
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  • PhantomOG
    PhantomOG Posts: 2,409
    edited January 2008
    a couple months ago I went to the fridge to get my lunch and saw a bottle of salad dressing with a post-it note attached:
    I spit in this bottle!

    Too funny.
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  • jakelm
    jakelm Posts: 4,081
    edited January 2008
    Its the maid, thowing it away.


    Put exlax in the food, who ever **** the most is the culprit.
    Monitor 7b's front
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  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited January 2008
    Just send out an email asking if the person who ate your Bosintang (Korean dog meat stew) to please contact you regarding possible contamination...then look around to see who turns green....
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
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  • Demiurge
    Demiurge Posts: 10,874
    edited January 2008
    One of my favorite commercials....

    <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/achOVrClibM&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/achOVrClibM&rel=1&quot; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
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  • bradm6406
    bradm6406 Posts: 39
    edited January 2008
    PhantomOG wrote: »
    a couple months ago I went to the fridge to get my lunch and saw a bottle of salad dressing with a post-it note attached:

    I spit in this bottle!

    Too funny.


    You should have added to the note, in noticeably different handwriting:

    Me too!
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  • obieone
    obieone Posts: 5,077
    edited January 2008
    I like the Exlax idea.....Although,....If it was my food, I'd probably use Epacack!!!
    I refuse to argue with idiots, because people can't tell the DIFFERENCE!
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  • daboyz
    daboyz Posts: 5,207
    edited January 2008
    In some places I believe it is considered battery to spike food with Exlax. That trumps their stealing it.
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  • HiPerf360
    HiPerf360 Posts: 436
    edited January 2008
    daboyz wrote: »
    In some places I believe it is considered battery to spike food with Exlax. That trumps their stealing it.

    NOOO......


    I put the exlax in ther for my own personal use. Then go into detail about you digestive system....
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  • HiPerf360
    HiPerf360 Posts: 436
    edited January 2008
    When my little girl was born someone stole our dinner out of the community fridge in the maternity area.

    Pretty lame....

    BTW there were only three or four rooms being used that nite, we are pretty sure the couple in the loony toons t-shirts were the guilty party.
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  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,674
    edited January 2008
    obieone wrote: »
    I like the Exlax idea.....Although,....If it was my food, I'd probably use Epacack!!!

    Ipecac !

    Dam, that's brilliant !!

    Ooooooh, that idea is getting filed under "Very Useful Information".
    Sal Palooza
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