For You Dad

schwarcw

It's Aug. 11 and the days are getting noticeably shorter. The excitement that I had for my garden in early Spring is now a tiring chore. I still enjoy it but Summer is fading.

It just struck me as I wrote the date on this post that it's been ten years to the day since my father died. We didn't always get along, he was always very critical of me. I was the oldest son and I couldn't do anything right. He had much more praise for my brothers or more of the strap for me. I probably deserved it LOL! I was a brash, ill mannered kid that knew it all. His criticism drove me to perform and prove to him that I was better than he thought I was. I am much more successful that either of my brothers but he never acknowledged my achievements. I was considered the lazy one who collected baseball cards and wasted my money on that "jungle music" and British trash. He couldn't wait to give my baseball cards away to my cousins when I was 15 and out of the Pony League. I had every Topps baseball card made between 1960 and 1967. Many of them priceless in today's market. Most of my music is still around. I met more friends, had more fun with my music hobby than anything I ever did.

With all the criticism I had for my father, he did teach me many lessons. Like how to smoke cigarettes. I habit that took 15 or so years to break. All kidding aside he drove me to work hard. I worked at an automobile parts store that he was the manager. I started by sweeping floors, cleaning toilets, putting away stock, etc. Eventually, I began to work at the counter, look up parts for customers, work in the machine shop, learn some things about how cars worked and how to repair them. These lessons are valuable and will stay with me always. He also taught me what kind of father not to be. I don't ridicule my children, nor have I raised a had, yet alone a strap to any of them.

He was a military man who spent combat time in Europe (mostly Germany and France) and Korea. He thought the military build strong men and wanted this for me to toughen me up. After all, I had a Beatles hair cut and listened to the Lovin' Spoonful and Jimmy Hendrix. When I turned 17 he took me to the Army recruiting office to join me up. I refused to sign the papers. He was furious, I had no intentions of going to Viet Nam, even though I genuinely supported the was against this Commie Pinkos.

He taught me all about baseball and how to grow vegetables in the garden. He too me to my first baseball game at Pittsburgh's old Forbes Field. It was a double header on labor day 1960. Bill Mazeroski and Bill Virdon hit home runs in the first game to help the Pirates win. In the second game, Hammerin' Hank Aaron and Eddie Mathews led a vicious offensive attack and the Pirates went down. I'll never forget that day.

On the day he died in the Veterans Hospital (he spent time in Europe and Korea), I sat on the steps that we walked down so many years ago to get to old Forbes Field. The sky was overcast, warm but not hot, and just a little humid. I thought about him a lot and I cried my eyes out. I'm spilling my gut today because I don't think I ever told anyone how I felt about my dad, or how our relationship was. When I look into the mirror, I see the resemblance between him and me. I hope that I am different, but I love and miss him enormously.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

hearingimpared

AWESOME Rant! Heartfelt and insightful and your memory seems very, very good. I was just thinking this week how I wish I had more time with my dad.

janmike

Nice write-up Carl. Sounds familiar.

Ern Dog

Cool post. There is soo much BS flying around this forum, that it is a breath of fresh air when someone speaks from their heart.

engtaz

Nice post.

ESavinon

This is carl for those who know the man personally.

F1nut

Carl,

Thanks for sharing your dad and your thoughts with us.

mrbigbluelight

That was a masterpiece.

Thanks for that post.

george daniel

Very well said Carl,, lost my Dad seven years ago in February,,just reading your post made me think of him,,, thanks for sharing.

polkatese

Thanks for sharing, Carl. great reading!

Fireman32

Nicely said Carl.

mark090852

Very heartfelt post, Carl. My father passed away 12 years ago this month. I still think of him everyday and miss him terribly.

Mike Reeter

Carl,I swear you just wrote a chapter of my childhood and my relationship with my father.

We are both about the same age,and our fathers are also from the same generation.

I have said a million times that I would never be the man that he was,but I look in the mirror once in a while and realize that I am more like him than not.

My father has been gone for 18 years...

You speak of your father with respect,and that says a lot about you.

It takes a true man to open up and share such feelings...I tip my hat to you.

candyliquor35m

***************()
**************(())
*************((()))
**************\\//
**********~~~~~~
************|****|
************|****|
************|****|
************|****|
************|****|******/\
************|****|*****/__\
******____i__|____|______/
*****\__________________/

duksbak

Refreshing post, and thank you.

I lost my mother to cancer when I was 16 but still have my father...

I am going to hug him today.

Thanks Carl.

cfrizz

Very nice Carl.

aaharvel

Cool post Carl.

schwarcw

Thanks for all your kind comments everyone. I didn't start out with the thread to come together as it did. It all just kind of came out in about the three minutes it took to write. For sure it was uncensored heartfelt feelings. As someone said, not enough of that around here. Then again, this is an audio forum and we love to argue about cables and other things that really don't mean **** in the big picture of things.

I got some PM from folks who never had a father, or who had a broken family. My heart goes out to each of you. Use the thread, send it to others, I'm glad that some of you found some use in it. I suspected that a lot of us had the same kind of relationships with our fathers. Your comments and replies validates my thoughts. Whatever your relationship is with your parents, make the most of it. For those of you who are estranged from your parents, put for the effort to bury the hatchet. Live in love.

Carl

snow

schwarcw wrote: »

Thanks for all your kind comments everyone. I didn't start out with the thread to come together as it did. It all just kind of came out in about the three minutes it took to write. For sure it was uncensored heartfelt feelings. As someone said, not enough of that around here. Then again, this is an audio forum and we love to argue about cables and other things that really don't mean **** in the big picture of things.

I got some PM from folks who never had a father, or who had a broken family. My heart goes out to each of you. Use the thread, send it to others, I'm glad that some of you found some use in it. I suspected that a lot of us had the same kind of relationships with our fathers. Your comments and replies validates my thoughts. Whatever your relationship is with your parents, make the most of it. For those of you who are estranged from your parents, put for the effort to bury the hatchet. Live in love.

Carl

Good advice Carl. once there gone there is no bringing them back. There is not a day that goes by that I wish I hadndt spent more time with both my parents and once yesterday is gone its gone.

All we can do is live every day the best we can and hopefully have no regrets at the end of it. If your are satisfied when you look in the mirror at the man looking back at the end of the day you have done your best.

There are very few things in life that are actually important your parents are one of those things.

God rest your fathers soul and hopefully he is in a much happier place now. And that you will get a chance to say anything you want when you meet him there.

REGARDS SNOW

cfrizz

Well said Snow.

And it's not just parents folks! Stay close to your brothers & sisters as well. My family went from a family of 4 down to 2 in less than a year after my mother died.

With her death my brothers & I became the senior generation & one month short of my mother's 1st anniversary death our older brother collapesed & spent almost 2 1/2 yrs as another Terry Schiavo. He was only 46 at the time.

That was waay too young, but we can't control these things. Life is too short to waste time on petty grudges, jealousys, & stupidness! So get close & stay close, since it could change in the blink of an eye!

steveinaz

Nice post Carl, sorry about your pop. When it comes to parenting--we're ALL first timers; none of us is perfect.

schwarcw

Steve,

You reminded me of a very important point that I failed to include in my writeup. My father's dad died when my father was only five. He was the victum of a coam mining tradgedy back in the late '20's. So my father never knew his dad or had any role model or guidance on how to be a father. It's amazing that he did as well as he did. I would have failed miserably without my dad to judge my behaviors. In many instances, I did just the opposite of what he did knowing the impact it had on me. But he never even had that point of reference. I owe you a beer Herr Schwartz. Danke!

jflail2

Excellent tribute Carl. A good reminder that life goes by quicker than you think, and to enjoy every moment with your loved ones.

I had to call dad last night after reading this....thanks for reminding me of what is truly important in life.

Ricardo

Just saw this; great write up. I hope I can be 1/2 good a dad as the one I have.