Hell explained by a chemistry student:

mrbigbluelight

The following is an actual question given on a Washington State University chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Fireman32

WOW that is way to funny. Thanks for sharing that.

opus

I like smart funny.


I wonder how long he had to come up with this?

Serendipity

That's hilarious.

dudeinaroom

beautiful

BaggedLancer

What a response

disneyjoe7

Nicely done.

audiobliss

Hey, how did my answer get out like that?!

:mad:

schwarcw

It's an old story and questionable from an authenticity and there are a lot of questionable assumptions.


But hey, why let the facts get in the way of a good story. I could find no matches on Snopes.

janmike

And the student deserves that A.

exalted512

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp
-Cody

schwarcw

Thanks Cody, I couldn't find it on Snopes. But I heard this story bck in the '70's when I was a young lad taking thermo at the University. Some questionable assumptions. I don't know why he would have received an "A" except for creativity. Most engineering professors (at least back in the '70's) looked upon a student like this as a "smart ****" and would have given him an "F". These old academic codgers 30 years ago had no sense of humor. You "vintage" engineering grads know what I mean.

Carl

tommyboy

schwarcw wrote: »

Thanks Cody, I couldn't find it on Snopes. But I heard this story bck in the '70's when I was a young lad taking thermo at the University. Some questionable assumptions. I don't know why he would have received an "A" except for creativity. Most engineering professors (at least back in the '70's) looked upon a student like this as a "smart ****" and would have given him an "F". These old academic codgers 30 years ago had no sense of humor. You "vintage" engineering grads know what I mean.

Carl

If I recall correctly, you went to Pitt for your engineering degree. Well, I sure hope times have changed.:) I'll find out in a couple months

Oh yeah, sorry about not giving you a call about heading over your place again, been busy. I'll try to call up sometime this week to pick a good time. If any other polkies near pittsburgh(If any) would like to head over, let us know!

bobman1235

schwarcw wrote: »

Thanks Cody, I couldn't find it on Snopes. But I heard this story bck in the '70's when I was a young lad taking thermo at the University. Some questionable assumptions. I don't know why he would have received an "A" except for creativity. Most engineering professors (at least back in the '70's) looked upon a student like this as a "smart ****" and would have given him an "F". These old academic codgers 30 years ago had no sense of humor. You "vintage" engineering grads know what I mean.

Carl

If it were real, considering the question is essentially a joke, how else would you expect someone to answer? Someone who is an old codger wouldn't ask such a "light" question.

Shizelbs

An oldie but a goodie. Great joke for a bunch of nerds like us.

schwarcw

bobman1235 wrote: »

If it were real, considering the question is essentially a joke, how else would you expect someone to answer? Someone who is an old codger wouldn't ask such a "light" question.

Exactly, they'd just give you and "F".:(

schwarcw

tommyboy wrote: »

If I recall correctly, you went to Pitt for your engineering degree. Well, I sure hope times have changed.:) I'll find out in a couple months

Oh yeah, sorry about not giving you a call about heading over your place again, been busy. I'll try to call up sometime this week to pick a good time. If any other polkies near pittsburgh(If any) would like to head over, let us know!

Yeah Tom! Give me a buzz! You'll enjoy engineering school.