Regret

fatchowmein

Not about speakers, subs, amps, players, SACD, or 1080P's. Sometimes, we get busy with our lives, our families, our jobs, and our hobbies that we don't complete all the things we intended to do. We let things slide or simmer in the back burner or move them to "Someday I'll".

Today, I buried a friend, not one of my inner circle of confidants but one of those work buddies I've been meaning to spend more time with, somebody who was always one of the guys but due to changes in job and marital status, I no longer saw on a regular basis except for lunch every now and then. So I lost touch a bit and never learned he was terribly unhappy and had become severely withdrawn.

Today, as I look at the large crowd of family and friends gathered to grieve for their son/brother/father/friend who in the end lost hope and gave up on life, I can't stop thinking what if one of us had made that extra phone call. Would it have made a difference? Could I have made a difference?

Gonna miss ya, John.

snow

I doubt it. I think this is why.

Quote. Today, as I look at the large crowd of family and friends gathered.

It appears that he had lots of family and friends that were even closer than you two were, so I doubt it was due to a lack of people that cared about him.

Severe depression is a mental health issue, due mainly to a chemical imbalance that leaves the effected party without hope or happiness.

Unless he would have listened to you and sought help nothing else you could have done or said to him would have mattered.

My deepest sympathies.

REGARDS SNOW

hearingimpared

My condolances brother. These stories really hit home with me.

mrbigbluelight

Snow's got it right: he apparently he had a close circle of friends and family whom he either chose not to confide in, or whose help wasn't enough.

Doubt you could have made a difference.

If you're at all close to those people, the thing to do now would be to let them know you're there for them if they need you. As much as you're hurting and questioning yourself, they must be 10 times worse.

And God rest your friend's soul; he's already spent his time in Hell.

engtaz

Sorry to hear.
My condolences.

Polk65

It's always hard on those we leave behind. Second guessing won't do you any good. We're all here for a short time and no one really knows when their time will be. Do the best you can each day but also allow some free time each day too. Condolences for the loss of your friend John.

Fireman32

sory about the loss of your friend.

danger boy

sorry for your loss..

but I think one person can make a difference.. lonliness can be very depressing if that's what he suffered from. but really.. how much effort does it take to call someone you haven't heard from in a while?

I think we can all find 10 mins in our lives to call someone.. i am guilty of it too.

janmike

Sorry to hear about your friend. I have had those same thoughts many times over the years. The end result, sadly to say, would probably be the same.

cfrizz

Condolences.

jflail2

Sorry to hear that

wingnut4772

Condolences..sorry.

Bill Ayotte

I'm sorry to hear about that man....Don't blame yourself, some people attempt that for attention....Some are serious about it, and that is a shame...One thing I have learned through a couple of different situations is that once people are committed to doing this, there is very little you can do to stop them. It's a shame that happened...Don't look back and say to yourself "Wow, I noticed this or that but thought it was no big deal..." hindsight is always 20/20...Just remember the good times man, and what you saw in hindsight...You may be able to help someone else down the road...

steveinaz

Sorry to hear that man. Deep depression is a very difficult thing to "help" with. I had a very close friend commit suicide 2 years ago after he and his wife were involved in a bad car accident that took her life. He just couldn't go on without her, plain & simple---I respect that, she was the love of his life.

I often asked myself if I should have called him more often after the accident, stopped by more often, etc, etc...

Drop that bag of bricks. Sure, it's good to be there for friends, but you also have a responsiblity to your family, life, etc. Rest easy.

madmax

Sorry to hear of your loss. Nothing you could do, just the way it is.
madmax

bionicmushroom

Sorry to hear about your loss bro. When I was alot younger I was out partying with a friend and he decided to go into town and at the last minute I decided to go home and get some sleep so he dropped me off. Later that night he was in an accident and died. Everyone was calling my house because they thought I was with him as usual but this time I wasnt. I often wondered if I was with him if there would have been anything at all I could have done. In the end the answer is no. We both would have probally lost our lives that night. Even though we were really close friends I finally realized that he probally wouldnt have listened to me, his mind was made up and he paid the ultimate price. You never actually fully know someone is what I figure. You cant gaurentee what any certain person will do when put into the right position.

Bamadude

Man I'm so sorry to hear that.

one of my closest life long friends took the same path March 16th 05. several of us had the opportunity to go over and talk to him the night before when we knew he was depressed but ended up not going for whatever reason. the next few weeks and months were some of the darkest days of my life.

But here's what we learned about suicide ***please, everyone listen in case you're in this position one day*** my friend was not the depressed type at all. He was always fun and full of life and had so much going for him. The problems started only a few days before hand. He just had several thoughts about work that all of a sudden became obsessive. Pay attention to people who have odd/sudden changes in behavior no matter how much you think they would never take their life. I'm serious, he was the last person we thought could ever do such a thing. And often it's the people who don't talk about it that end up really doing it.

Like other's have said, hind sight is 20/20 so you can't blame yourself. Remember the good times with your friend and try to help others learn the warning signs.

Daniel

dudeinaroom

Sorry to hear of your loss, hang in there.

fatchowmein

Thx, ya'll.


in this proud land we grew up strong
we were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail

no fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I've changed my face, I've changed my name
but no one wants you when you lose

don't give up
'cos you have friends
don't give up
you're not beaten yet
don't give up
I know you can make it good

though I saw it all around
never thought I could be affected
thought that we'd be the last to go
it is so strange the way things turn

drove the night toward my home
the place that I was born, on the lakeside
as daylight broke, I saw the earth
the trees had burned down to the ground
don't give up
you still have us
don't give up
we don't need much of anything
don't give up
'cause somewhere there's a place
where we belong

rest your head
you worry too much
it's going to be alright
when times get rough
you can fall back on us
don't give up
please don't give up

'got to walk out of here
I can't take anymore
going to stand on that bridge
keep my eyes down below
whatever may come
and whatever may go
that river's flowing
that river's flowing

moved on to another town
tried hard to settle down
for every job, so many men
so many men no-one needs

don't give up
'cause you have friends
don't give up
you're not the only one
don't give up
no reason to be ashamed
don't give up
you still have us
don't give up now
we're proud of who you are
don't give up
you know it's never been easy
don't give up
'cause I believe there's a place
there's a place where we belong