The World is our Urinal!

edbert

Alright, after reading one of the little tidbits in the Fred on everything topic, it gave me the idea for this. Seeing as most of us are guys, post up your oddest place you have urinated, funniest story regarding trying to urinate somewhere outside of a bathroom, sayings you use as code that you are about to urinate somewhere(see below), etc. Ladies you can chime in as well if you have something to contribute. I'll start it off.

We were out on a jeep trip with a local jeep club and had stopped for a break. After all the bumping around in the jeep, the water I had been drinking was ready to come out. I told a buddy of mine, "Hey, I'm gonna go check out this tree over here." Little did I know that he decided to follow me and didn't realize what I meant until I started "watering" the tree.

BaggedLancer

3 places for me.

1. Was over a friends house for a party, had to take a leak real bad while we were standing outside. I ran out into the middle of the road and pee'd right on the yellow line.

2. Was coming out of a bar, walking back to my friends apartment, completely drunk. Ran into a movie theater to pee, the bathroom happened to be beyond the gates where the guy checks your ticket. I told him I just wanted to use the bathroom, he said sorry you need a ticket to go past here, so I ran right by him and told him to drag me outta urinal if he wanted to stop me. He let me go no problem.

3. Was coming out of a bar in boston(notice a trend?), completely drunk again, had to pee but this time I found the door of a really nice financial institution and pee'd right on the glass of 2 windows on the door.

I'm sure there are others but these are my more recent experiences.

bobman1235

I've peed in a few alleys of Boston in my day, but I gotta advise against it - you get caught by a dickhead cop nowadays, you're a sex offender for life.

BaggedLancer

bobman1235 wrote: »

I've peed in a few alleys of Boston in my day, but I gotta advise against it - you get caught by a dickhead cop nowadays, you're a sex offender for life.

Agreed.

MrNightly

On a long trip across country with a search and rescue team, we only stopped every 3 hrs to switch drivers (This was a 52 hrs drive mind you from the UP to Cali) and I only had an empty mountain dew pop bottle... well, it did the trick! Had to tell everyone not to drink it until the next stop where it was promptly disposed... ewww...

Peed on quite a few tires in my day, er.. night.

Side of a house, because the inside smelled so bad I couldn't force myself to go in!

jdhdiggs

The picture isn't of me (Just found a random one on the net) but generally when you get drunk in Golden, CO (usually after Coors lab) you take a leak off of the top of the sign in the pic.

jflail2

I got blasted at a party (my own actually) and ended up peeing in a box of Frosted Flakes. Why? At the time I thought I'd be the only person in the world who had peed in a box of Frosted Flakes, and to this day I've never heard of another one, so maybe I am.

God I hope that's not my defining moment in life....

steveinaz

Apr 1982, when I was stationed at Ft. Gordon, GA., one of my roommates got hammered. The bunks had 2 drawers under the mattress for storage. Me and another roommate were coming into the room (8-man rooms) at about 1:30 am, and this guy was pissing in his bunk drawer---funny as hell.

We were thankful that he at least picked his own drawer to piss in.

TroyD

There are some things that are just best left a secret.

BDT

snow

TroyD wrote: »

There are some things that are just best left a secret.

BDT

Agreed. Its kind of like who here has took the largest dump. No one cares and no one wants to read about it.:D :eek:

REGARDS SNOW

rskarvan

A friend of mine was arrested while in college for taking a pee in a gravel parking lot during Little-5 weekend at IU. He had taken care to "hide himself" between a few cars when a policeman walked up mid-stream and said... "what are you doing there"? After the guy finished peeing, he was arrested for indecent exposure. The cop went on to scold him by saying.... "next time you'll think twice before pulling your **** out in public". The guy got a fine, one-year probation, and was told by the woman judge that if you are bold enough to pee in public what would prevent you from accosting a young lady. The poor kid told the judge that he simply couldn't hold it any longer. Go figure.

BaggedLancer

jflail2 wrote: »

I got blasted at a party (my own actually) and ended up peeing in a box of Frosted Flakes. Why? At the time I thought I'd be the only person in the world who had peed in a box of Frosted Flakes, and to this day I've never heard of another one, so maybe I am.

God I hope that's not my defining moment in life....

I'm going to the supermarket and buying a box of frosted flakes today.

Gaara

When I was a kid I remember being in a comic store and having to go so bad that I was actually going to buy a comic just for the plastic bag to pee in. I wound up grabbing some $2 comic in plastic wrap and bringing it up to the counter. When I was pulling out my money another store clerk walked out of a room and I saw a toilet before he hit the lights. I was so scared to ask but thankfully the guy saw me starring at the bathroom and asked if I had to use it. Don't think I have ever had to go that bad since.

Other weird locations would include a water bottle while driving, kitty litter, sinks, and on someone I didn't likes' car door.

Jared

jflail2

BaggedLancer wrote: »

I'm going to the supermarket and buying a box of frosted flakes today.

Damn you!!! My one claim to fame and you're gonna piss all over it

Be forewarned, the plastic bag does not prevent leakage, so be ready to run outside with it....

Hmm, maybe this will be the next great internet fad?

BaggedLancer

jflail2 wrote: »

Damn you!!! My one claim to fame and you're gonna piss all over it

Be forewarned, the plastic bag does not prevent leakage, so be ready to run outside with it....

Hmm, maybe this will be the next great internet fad?

Yea but did you put them back in your kitchen cabinet when you were done?

I bet I'll be the first for that one......:o

AndyGwis

Funniest I can remember was on a trip from from Plano (Dallas) to College Station (Texas A&M) for a 7 on 7 football tourney between junior and senior year of HS. So, most cars left at noon from the HS and pulled into College Station around 3:30pm. The car I was in left the HS at 12pm, but then drove around for an hour till we found a liquor store that would accept the bad fake ID we had.

Long story short, everyone but the driver was drinking heavily on the trip down (the driver only had a couple). So, we're pulling over every 15 minutes to pee. It gets to be 6pm and our cell phones start blowing up from parents and coaches wondering where we are. So, we decide we can't take any more urination breaks. The driver decides he has to pee and asks for an empty gatorade bottle. While driving 80mph down the highway, he proceeds to take a leak in the bottle. All was going well, until we hit a little pothole, he came out of the bottle, and urine went all over the steering wheel, dash, etc.

Kind of stupid of us. But, despite a little urine, no serious damage was done. 7 hour road trip to go just over 200 miles.

zombie boy 2000

I just pissed all over my keyboard.

MSALLA

1) Drag racing down front street, drunk standing ontop of car roof while parked at the docks. Watched by cops and charged for public nudity.

2) After party, too much to drink, opend up the vanity under the sink and went all over the bath towels spare tooth paste, etc. (you get the idea.)
I thought it was the toilet. I was 18. After I pissed my mother was pissed off.
God bless her, she cleaned it all up.

hearingimpared

I pissed on a guys leg while taking a shower in the locker room after football practice.

dudeinaroom

A better question would where did I not piss, the only one I can think that I didn't do would be the cereal box. Hey bagged, as far as going in the street, that's common place up here in the sticks, My wife knows if I'm stopping on the side of the street for no reason I'm gonna "wash" the road. But as far as the funniest would have to of been when I was ten, I ran down the roar to the corner of John R.(A busy main street out side of Detroit) whipped out my willie for the whole world to see and peed right on the corner.

mrbigbluelight

I peed in a can while driving and the (ex)wife tossed it out her window.

.......and, in the process, got a nice splash of the "Ol' Bubbly" in her face.


If I accomplish nothing else in life, I can live with that moment.

jflail2

BaggedLancer wrote: »

Yea but did you put them back in your kitchen cabinet when you were done?

I bet I'll be the first for that one......:o

:eek: You win.... :eek:

.......and, in the process, got a nice splash of the "Ol' Bubbly" in her face.

Hah, bluelight I laughed really hard at that one.

rhulett

Back when I was young, dumb and 19, a buddy and I were out cruising the local strip, when we both had to go to the bathroom. Stopped at a local gas station, and it was a race between us, since they only had one toilet. Well, I won and started peeing, but he couldn't hold, and decided to use the sink. Needless to say, the guy working saw us both go in together, and came out to investigate, and caught him mid stream peeing in the sink. We were asked never to com back.

I won't tell the story about the time traveling up north with him, let's just say it's a good thing they put locks on the liquid soap dispensers now.
Rob

bobman1235

rhulett wrote: »

I won't tell the story about the time traveling up north with him,

You guys are time travellers?! :eek:

treitz3

Had a Buddy.
Real drunk buddy.
Buddy had to pee bad.
Real bad.
No, real, real bad.
We were on a train.
Last car.
50 MPH.
Off the back.
Buddy whipped it out.
Buddy got soaked.
Buddy started yelling.
Buddy so drunk, couldn't stop.
Buddy got real soaked.
I laughed.
Hard.
Really, really hard.

The end.