Favortie George Grand-isms

RuSsMaN

Let em rip, our resident wordsmith sure has a way of telling it like it is sometimes, no?

Here are a couple of my favorites, to get the ball rolling.......

A baseball hat, worn fashionably backwards, is usually a sure sign of a complete moron.

If she sounds nice on the phone, or over the radio, she's tipping the scales at between 250 and 300.

The more lights and buzzers, the worse the piece will sound.

Dollar (or less) a watt. Fair price for anything usually.

Personally, I don't hold my flatus for anyone. You can get a wicked stomach ache that way. I know that you guys don't want me to get a stomach ache.

How about the sayings that are pure ****? Like, "What you can't see, can't hurt you." Obviously, this **** never saw Predator. Or, like closing your eyes before you jump in a wood chipper is gonna help.

"Honesty is the best policy." Right. I have gotten the daylights beat out of me for telling the truth. Telling the truth is situational.

"A bird in the hand, is worth two in the bush." ANYBODY have ANY damn idea what this is supposed to mean? Who do you sell birds TO, IF you have /catch one?

"Better to be safe than sorry." Ever see the babes that hang out with the "safe" guys? No thanks.

"Any landing you can walk away from....." ****! It's a lot better if you can USE THE AIRPLANE AGAIN after you walk away.

So he could easily have said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." Which would have not been any better, because WHO has chickens? Maybe chicken farmers. A fine piece of country advice. What good does it do the average guy trying to date Puerto Rican girls in New York? Watch.

Puerto Rican guy - "How come you sniffing around my woman?"

Young George - "Cause she's fine, and I didn't think you were around, and I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch."

Puerto Rican guy - "Let's go outside and I'm gonna help you count you chickens out there."

See.

Cheers,
Russ

TroyD

A long time ago, I actually set foot in Yankee Stadium (indian territory for ANY Brooklyn Dodger fan), and watched the jack-booted, Waffen SS, scumbag New York Yankee's play a game. It's something I'm not proud of, but hey, it happened.
PEOPLE DO MAKE MISTAKES.....but I don't know about this Bose **** Aaron.

Crackpot

Man, I gotta hit the archives...George has got panache coming out the wazoo.

BDT

TroyD

Man stop bugging me! You're jamming up my concentration. I'm in the middle of teaching guys how to fish for bread.


Rye Cooder

More classic George (interacting with Darrin the Lunatic)

BDT

cmy330go

A little out of context, but it still made me laugh.

George Grand wrote: »

.....We are very UNFORTUNATE not to have dbartol (Darrin the Lunatic) around anymore. He was a good friend, loved to help me pound on Snake,....

I have a feeling this is going to be a GREAT thread.

BobMcG

This one to Polk's Justin is cute.

George Grand (of the Jersey Grands) wrote:

Bet when you were younger you had to ride the bus. The little one at that. Still have the helmet?

George Grand (of the Jersey Grand's)

McLoki

Anyone else catch the irony of getting turned on looking at another mans wife (moses' no less) while watching the Ten Commandments?

George Grand wrote: »

Here in Jersey, The 10 Commandments is airing right now. Check it out and get a load of what Lily Munster looked like in her hayday. She plays Moses' wife. Man, there's heat rays coming off her.

McLoki

Then again he does know how to apologize...

George Grand wrote: »

You "thought", and that thought was wrong. hence, your thinking was wrong, which in my world means the opposite of right, which in my world means "incorrect" or diametrecally opposed to being "right" which is as far from correct as one can be. HOWEVER, you did add a question mark at the end of the sentence, even though the sentence wasn't in the form of a question, it was in the form of a statement. A thousand pardons. No, TWO thousand pardons. I'm wrong. I'm ALWAYS wrong.

shack

George on being stupid....

Please tell me you're not as stupid as you sound. If you can't say that, try not saying anything.

Hey stupid, has it occurred to you that each and every person that has posted on this thread is sitting at home in front of their computer, laughing their asses off at how dumb you are. Did you think about that? Do you think?

I noticed that this knuckleheads threads disappear fairly quickly. What pray tell are the chances his stupid, long-winded self got banned or eaten by a pterodactyl.

Try to do something special for SOMEONE special, and that little loser is too stupid to realize it's not a good time to be him and stupid.

Nisqually Dave

Oh Please I remember rollling on the floor over some of these comments, We should publish a book of these. Now if I could Just remember who I was back then?

George Grand

"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you've fed him for life."

The intent of this is obviously noble, but not at all helpful to me. I don't eat fish. I am a true carnivore, only eating meat. Show me how to catch a steak or a cheeseburger (maybe even a nice Chicken Kiev) with a fish, and I won't bother you anymore. You could also show me how to catch any of the above mentioned with a salad, and it would also be helpful, cause I don't like too much in the way of grassy material either.

schwarcw

George Grand wrote: »

"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you've fed him for life."

The intent of this is obviously noble, but not at all helpful to me. I don't eat fish. I am a true carnivore, only eating meat. Show me how to catch a steak or a cheeseburger (maybe even a nice Chicken Kiev) with a fish, and I won't bother you anymore. You could also show me how to catch any of the above mentioned with a salad, and it would also be helpful, cause I don't like too much in the way of grassy material either.

Call "The Outback"! They catch it, cook it and bag it for you. They offer reserved parking for pickup and if you give them a credit card, they'll bring it to your car. You can go in your jammies! I think Applebee's Ruby Tuesday's and Fridays offer this service also. I've done it myself.

Please send $50 consulting fee.

TroyD

*bump*

Not a day goes by where I don't laugh about something El Roma has imparted....

BDT

steveinaz

My favorite George-ism: (hope I get it right)

"What I'm about to say may offend some people, but you need to know up front that I don't give a damn."

LOL!!!!

nspindel

George Grand wrote: »

I got a boner from all this.

Not a bad one...

Jstas

I'm not 100% sure what hob knobing is all about. If it has anything to do with talking about vinyl or audio, that crap's too boring. I just like to "watch" now, if you catch my dwift.

It's recent too!

Toolfan66

Jstas wrote: »

It's recent too!

There could be a thread with some of your quotes as well, but they might hurt the weak..

halo71

These are awesome! lol

How about the sayings that are pure bull****? Like, "What you can't see, can't hurt you." Obviously, this ******* never saw Predator. Or, like closing your eyes before you jump in a wood chipper is gonna help.

"Any landing you can walk away from....." BULL****! It's a lot better if you can USE THE AIRPLANE AGAIN after you walk away.
So he could easily have said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." Which would have not been any better, because WHO has chickens? Maybe chicken farmers. A fine piece of country advice. What good does it do the average guy trying to date Puerto Rican girls in New York? Watch.

Puerto Rican guy - "How come you sniffing around my woman?"

Young George - "Cause she's fine, and I didn't think you were around, and I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch."

Puerto Rican guy - "Let's go outside and I'm gonna help you count you chickens out there."

gudnoyez

Glad to have been at the receiving end of one of those Grand-ism's, I feel like an idiot even though, I survived through it ( sigh ) life goes on. At least I,am not as devastated as Puerto Rican Guy. George should keep em coming even if they are at my expense. Ha Ha lots of good ones here.

mrbigbluelight

Bees

That's it. Just

Bees

tonyb

George-ism's.....heck man, every thread he posts in contains one or two.

I can tell you this, the man owes me about 10 bucks for all the Windex I've used over the years cleaning the coffee off my 'puter screen.

Jstas

Toolfan66 wrote: »

There could be a thread with some of your quotes as well, but they might hurt the weak..

I'm failing to see the problem here.

Toolfan66

Jstas wrote: »

I'm failing to see the problem here.

Touch

F1nut

"There's no substitute for large radiating surfaces and a man's amp."

dragon1952

Military lifers tend to be very blunt. As a MSGT (or whatever) he's been able to intimidate those inferior to him for so long, so it also tends to extend to real life in a way. Not saying that's a negative...I was "in" for 8 yrs myself... and I like the guy even though I've never been sure what he thinks of me (nor do I necessarily care) ....just sayin', he's kinda like a combination of Charles In Charge , George Carlin and those two grumpy guys on the Muppet Show.

mrbigbluelight

dragon1952 wrote: »

Military lifers tend to be very blunt.

I thought Mr. Grand was in the Air Force. Does that count ?

Well .... I guess successfully planning, scheduling, and attending regiment dinners, debutante balls, and cotillions and figuring out what to wear, proper etiquette etc does take precise, almost military precision.
So, okay. It's decided. The Air Force does count as military.

I may have shot past "Permanent Bozo List" to "Eternal Bozo List"

ESavinon

dragon1952 wrote: »

Military lifers tend to be very blunt. As a MSGT (or whatever) he's been able to intimidate those inferior to him for so long, so it also tends to extend to real life in a way. Not saying that's a negative...I was "in" for 8 yrs myself... and I like the guy even though I've never been sure what he thinks of me (nor do I necessarily care) ....just sayin', he's kinda like a combination of Charles In Charge , George Carlin and those two grumpy guys on the Muppet Show.

He's just a regular george from brooklyn; Old brooklyn that is. We're just lucky enough to have him grazing our forum.

George Grand

dragon1952 wrote: »

Military lifers tend to be very blunt. As a MSGT (or whatever) he's been able to intimidate those inferior to him for so long, so it also tends to extend to real life in a way. Not saying that's a negative...I was "in" for 8 yrs myself... and I like the guy even though I've never been sure what he thinks of me (nor do I necessarily care) ....just sayin', he's kinda like a combination of Charles In Charge , George Carlin and those two grumpy guys on the Muppet Show.

Really wide of the mark man. Not a military lifer. 32 years as a federal employee with the pension to prove it. One more time... A stipulation of my contract with the feds mandated that I hold a position in the New Jersey Air Guard in order to hold the fed position. THIS is my military experience. I attended Air Force schools in order to become proficient at my job. I lived, ate, drank, and spent a great amount of leisure time with them as well after training but I was never IN the Air Force, not for five minutes. Even when activated for all the desert stuff and more, I was an activated guardsmen, not active duty Air Force. I just had a lifetime of exposure up close and personal. I never felt superior to anyone (except those who were obviously trying to fill an inferior niche in life), and was rarely if ever, in a supervisory position. I had hundreds of STUDENTS that I trained to be boom operators, but really did not perform a supervisory role.

Master of Sergeants. Master Sergeant. I can't speak for the Army, and definitely not the Marines or the swabbies. You go to an Air Force base these days and see a master sergeant make a suggestion to a one or two-striper. Then watch as that one or two-striper flips the old sarge the bird, walks away laughing, gets into his/her Lexus or Jaguar, and drives off (laughing).

I don't like any of my inputs, I've heard them all before.

dragon1952

George Grand wrote: »

Really wide of the mark man. Not a military lifer. 32 years as a federal employee with the pension to prove it. One more time... A stipulation of my contract with the feds mandated that I hold a position in the New Jersey Air Guard in order to hold the fed position. THIS is my military experience. I attended Air Force schools in order to become proficient at my job. I lived, ate, drank, and spent a great amount of leisure time with them as well after training but I was never IN the Air Force, not for five minutes. Even when activated for all the desert stuff and more, I was an activated guardsmen, not active duty Air Force. I just had a lifetime of exposure up close and personal. I never felt superior to anyone (except those who were obviously trying to fill an inferior niche in life), and was rarely if ever, in a supervisory position. I had hundreds of STUDENTS that I trained to be boom operators, but really did not perform a supervisory role.

Master of Sergeants. Master Sergeant. I can't speak for the Army, and definitely not the Marines or the swabbies. You go to an Air Force base these days and see a master sergeant make a suggestion to a one or two-striper. Then watch as that one or two-striper flips the old sarge the bird, walks away laughing, gets into his/her Lexus or Jaguar, and drives off (laughing).

I don't like any of my inputs, I've heard them all before.

Well at least I had the grumpy Muppet guys part right. But seriously though, I guess that's the problem with picking up bits and pieces along the way and making assumptions not knowing WTF you are talking about. As a 32 yr fed /military lifer myself I sincerely apologize for my drunken and mis-informative diatribe.

Systems

For some reason George always reminded me of the guy on the right.

George Grand

dragon1952 wrote: »

Well at least I had the grumpy Muppet guys part right. But seriously though, I guess that's the problem with picking up bits and pieces along the way and making assumptions not knowing WTF you are talking about. As a 32 yr fed /military lifer myself I sincerely apologize for my drunken and mis-informative diatribe.

Not a problem! A good lesson here... You shouldn't drink and jive.

dragon1952

George Grand wrote: »

Not a problem! A good lesson here... You shouldn't drink and jive.

Ha ha.....excellent!