Why Men Die First....

Willow
Willow Posts: 10,994
edited March 2007 in The Clubhouse
Why men die first is a question that has gone
unanswered for centuries, but now we know:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her
from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist; if you stay home and do the
housework, you're a pansy.

If you work too hard, there's never any time for her; if
you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is
exploitation; if you have a boring repetitive job with low pay,
you should get off your lazy **** and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism;
if she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sex ual
harassment; if you keep quiet it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp; if you don't, you're an
insensitive ****.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a
chauvinist; if she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a
liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's
domination; if she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear,
you're a pervert; if you don't, you're ****.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape,
you're sexist; if you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain; if
you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something; if you
don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of
yourself; if you aren't you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired; if you have a
headache, you don't love her anymore.

Men die first because they want to.
Post edited by Willow on

Comments

  • dholmes
    dholmes Posts: 1,136
    edited March 2007
    I liked that!!!!You know what they say about women, you cant trust anything that bleeds for 5 days & dont DIE!!! Even my wife liked that joke!
    My HT set-up Panasonic front proj, 120 in ws screen, ATI amp,Integra 9.8 pre-pro, 2 Polk rti150, cp 1000, 4 fx 1000, Pioneer blu-ray 2 SVS sub pb 12-ultra 2, & Paragon popcorn popper. ps 3 Coaster leather HT recliners.
  • Willow
    Willow Posts: 10,994
    edited March 2007
    It's not meant to be in a bad way, but today at work has been hell, when I read this it made me smile so I decided to pass it on to others hoping it may do the same.
  • VR3
    VR3 Posts: 28,568
    edited March 2007
    hahhaha, to funny.
    - Not Tom ::::::: Any system can play Diana Krall. Only the best can play Limp Bizkit.
  • ben62670
    ben62670 Posts: 15,969
    edited March 2007
    If they are married they die younger!
    Please. Please contact me a ben62670 @ yahoo.com. Make sure to include who you are, and you are from Polk so I don't delete your email. Also I am now physically unable to work on any projects. If you need help let these guys know. There are many people who will help if you let them know where you are.
    Thanks
    Ben
  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited March 2007
    Actually you are wrong there. Studies have shown men to live longer if they are married.
    ben62670 wrote:
    If they are married they die younger!
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  • McLoki
    McLoki Posts: 5,231
    edited March 2007
    cfrizz wrote:
    Actually you are wrong there. Studies have shown men to live longer if they are married.
    Because they can't get permission to die earlier....
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  • shepx2
    shepx2 Posts: 646
    edited March 2007
    Because they can't get permission to die earlier....


    Winner!!
  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited March 2007
    :D :eek: :D :eek: :D :eek: :D :eek: :D :eek: :D :eek: :D :eek: :D :eek: :D:D:D WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!:D :D:D

    McLoki wrote:
    Because they can't get permission to die earlier....
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  • ben62670
    ben62670 Posts: 15,969
    edited March 2007
    cfrizz wrote:
    Actually you are wrong there. Studies have shown men to live longer if they are married.
    I knew you would get me Cathy:D
    Please. Please contact me a ben62670 @ yahoo.com. Make sure to include who you are, and you are from Polk so I don't delete your email. Also I am now physically unable to work on any projects. If you need help let these guys know. There are many people who will help if you let them know where you are.
    Thanks
    Ben
  • janmike
    janmike Posts: 6,146
    edited March 2007
    This going to be one of those threads.
    Michael ;)
    In the beginning, all knowledge was new!

    NORTH of 60°
  • schwarcw
    schwarcw Posts: 7,335
    edited March 2007
    cfrizz wrote:
    Actually you are wrong there. Studies have shown men to live longer if they are married.

    If their wives don't kill them first!;)
    Carl

  • petrym
    petrym Posts: 1,912
    edited March 2007
    We die first so that our widows can go shopping... guess who invented insurance. :D
  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited March 2007
    No Michael it's NOT!:D

    Petrym, if you don't want this thread to go there, don't YOU go there!:p :D
    janmike wrote:
    This going to be one of those threads.
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  • petrym
    petrym Posts: 1,912
    edited March 2007
  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,668
    edited March 2007
    cfrizz wrote:
    Actually you are wrong there. Studies have shown men to live longer if they are married.

    Yeah, but the single ones have a much greater chance of having a smile on their face when they die.

    It's been scientifically recorded that the last words spoken by most married men on their deathbeds is: "Whew, thank God !".
    Sal Palooza
  • Deadof_knight
    Deadof_knight Posts: 980
    edited March 2007
    Wifes dont kill them early because the life insurance policy needs to mature before the full amount is available.. hehehehe
    :cool: " He who dies with the most equipment wins Right ? "

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  • janmike
    janmike Posts: 6,146
    edited March 2007
    cfrizz wrote:
    No Michael it's NOT!:D

    Petrym, if you don't want this thread to go there, don't YOU go there!:p :D
    That's a good thing.
    Michael ;)
    In the beginning, all knowledge was new!

    NORTH of 60°
  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited March 2007
    There is a 2 yr contestability clause on life insurance. Meaning if you die within 2 yrs of the policy, the death claim is going to be gone over with a fine tooth comb to make sure no fraud is going on!

    So if your death is suspicious, don't expect to be getting a check anytime soon! However DOK, if everything checks out, (like you had a massive heart attack & die) the bene's will get the full amount of the insurance policy.
    Wifes dont kill them early because the life insurance policy needs to mature before the full amount is available.. hehehehe
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  • Willow
    Willow Posts: 10,994
    edited March 2007
    cfrizz wrote:
    There is a 2 yr contestability clause on life insurance. Meaning if you die within 2 yrs of the policy, the death claim is going to be gone over with a fine tooth comb to make sure no fraud is going on!

    So if your death is suspicious, don't expect to be getting a check anytime soon! However DOK, if everything checks out, (like you had a massive heart attack & die) the bene's will get the full amount of the insurance policy.


    We should know ! ;) ( Not that Cathy and I have killed and benefited...we both work in Insurance)

    I would think,I don't work in claims, but as long as the person killing you isn't the beneficiary, there should be no issue. The contestability clause usually comes into play for suicide.
  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited March 2007
    It also comes into play if you have a fatal disiese & fail to disclose it on the application, and die within the contestability period.

    Sigh, I just got through taking a mandatory fraud course.
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  • Jstas
    Jstas Posts: 14,804
    edited March 2007
    cfrizz wrote:
    It also comes into play if you have a fatal disiese & fail to disclose it on the application, and die within the contestability period.

    I would think that that would be fraud and subject to criminal prosecution and not necessarily a contestability thing, wouldn't it? I would also think that the beneficiary might be held accountable as an accomplice under certain circumstances.
    Expert Moron Extraordinaire

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  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited March 2007
    It would basically fall under the fraud catagory while within the contestability period. While it would be reported to state insurance regulators, I'm not sure about the criminal prosecution part.
    Jstas wrote:
    I would think that that would be fraud and subject to criminal prosecution and not necessarily a contestability thing, wouldn't it? I would also think that the beneficiary might be held accountable as an accomplice under certain circumstances.
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  • MacLeod
    MacLeod Posts: 14,358
    edited March 2007
    cfrizz wrote:
    Actually you are wrong there. Studies have shown men to live longer if they are married.

    No, no, no.

    It only SEEMS like youre living longer when youre married.

    I could swear Ive been married 30 years already.
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