Dear God,

candyliquor35m
candyliquor35m Posts: 2,267
edited February 2007 in The Clubhouse
Please help me to help others just like you've helped me all my life!

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  • Strong Bad
    Strong Bad Posts: 4,277
    edited February 2007
    give me the winner numbers to the largest lotto jackpot in the country.
    No excuses!
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  • disneyjoe7
    disneyjoe7 Posts: 11,435
    edited February 2007
    Please #'s Please.

    Speakers
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    Electronics
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  • ohskigod
    ohskigod Posts: 6,502
    edited February 2007
    Dear God

    Please explain to an extreme minority of your devout followers of many faiths that some of the **** they do in your name is completly retarded. Of course, feel free to use different terminology than I chose to use. Since you are the almighty, you can phrase it far better than me.

    please God, with sugar on top

    Lou
    Living Room 2 Channel -
    Schiit SYS Passive Pre. Jolida CD player. Songbird streamer. California Audio Labs Sigma II DAC, DIY 300as1/a1 Ice modules Class D amp. LSi15 with MM842 woofer upgrade, Nordost Blue Heaven and Unity interconnects.

    Upstairs 2 Channel Rig -
    Prometheus Ref. TVC passive pre, SAE A-205 Amp, Wiim pro streamer and Topping E50 DAC, California Audio Labs DX1 CD player, Von Schweikert VR3.5 speakers.

    Studio Rig - Scarlett 18i20(Gen3) DAW, Mac Mini, Aiyma A07 Max (BridgedX2), Totem Mites
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  • zombie boy 2000
    zombie boy 2000 Posts: 6,641
    edited February 2007
    Dear god,
    Hope you got the letter,
    And I pray you can make it better down here.
    I dont mean a big reduction in the price of beer,
    But all the people that you made in your image,
    See them starving on their feet,
    cause they dont get enough to eat


    Any other XTC fans out there?:D
    I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore
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  • jkn
    jkn Posts: 133
    edited February 2007
    Admittedly, the XTC song is the first thing that popped into my mind when I read the subject. Wonderful lyrics throughout that album - although that should probably be a different thread.

    "when it rains it rains all the colors in my paintbox..."

    jkn

    Music: http://www.atmoworks.com
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  • strider
    strider Posts: 2,568
    edited February 2007
    zombie boy 2000 wrote:
    Dear god,
    Hope you got the letter,
    And I pray you can make it better down here.
    I dont mean a big reduction in the price of beer,
    But all the people that you made in your image,
    See them starving on their feet,
    cause they dont get enough to eat


    Any other XTC fans out there?:D


    There goes my answer.....:(
    Wristwatch--->Crisco
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  • bobman1235
    bobman1235 Posts: 10,822
    edited February 2007
    Monty Python to the rescue!
    Chaplain: O Lord…
    Congregation: O Lord…
    Chaplain: … ooh, You are so big…
    Congregation: … ooh, You are so big…
    Chaplain: … so absolutely huge.
    Congregation: … so absolutely huge.
    Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
    Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
    Chaplain: Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and…
    Congregation: … and barefaced flattery.
    Chaplain: But You're so strong and, well, just so… super.
    Congregation: Fantastic!
    Chaplain: Amen.
    Congregation: Amen.
    .....
    [The Chaplain leads the congregation in a hymn.]
    Chaplain, Congregation: [singing]

    Oh, Lord, please don't burn us,
    Don't grill or toast your flock.
    Don't put us on the barbecue,
    Or simmer us in stock.
    Don't braise or bake or boil us,
    Or stir-fry us in a wok.

    Oh please don't lightly poach us,
    Or baste us with hot fat,
    Don't fricassee or roast us,
    Or boil us in a vat,
    And please don't stick thy servants Lord,
    In a Rotissomat...
    If you will it, dude, it is no dream.
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  • PolkThug
    PolkThug Posts: 7,532
    edited February 2007
    Please protect me from your followers.
    Never Forget
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  • jkn
    jkn Posts: 133
    edited February 2007
    I may burn eternally for derailing this thread further - but in the wonderful words of Eddie Izzard... of course, it's much better if you can hear him doing the voices... :)
    "And… No, it’s – it’s just not kicking, is it? You know. God must be up – must be up there going, “What on earth is that?” God, who is James Mason. “What on earth is that, Jesus? Jesus Christ! What on earth is that?” “Don’t take my name in vain, Dad!” “Jezee Chrizee, what on earth is that?” “Don’t call me Jezee Chrizee. Look Dad, I went down there, I taught ‘em to be hang out, be groovy, drink a bit of wine, they split into different groups! You’ve got the Catholics, the Protestants, the Jesuits, the Methodists, the Evangelicals, the free Presbyterians, the locked up Presbyterians…the Quakers, the Bakers, the Candlestick Makers... The Mormons are from Mars, Dad, we’ve had that checked out.” “And what does the Holy Ghost think of all this?” “Oh, he’s useless, Dad. Got a sheet over his head these days.” [Holy Ghost:] “Ooooh…Holy Ghost…Holy Ghost…Holy Ghost!” [God:] “Holy Ghost, this is not an episode of Scooby Doo!” [Holy Ghost:] “I would have succeeded if it wasn’t for those pesky God and Jesus fellows!”

    "cake or death?"

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  • zombie boy 2000
    zombie boy 2000 Posts: 6,641
    edited February 2007
    From The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

    Now it is such a bizarrely impossible coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the nonexistence of God. The arguement goes something like this:


    "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

    "But," say Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."

    "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't though of that" and promply vanishes in a puff of logic
    I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore
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  • hoosier21
    hoosier21 Posts: 4,411
    edited February 2007
    Hope you got the letter,
    And I pray you can make it better down here.
    I dont mean a big reduction in the price of beer,

    man I am too slow
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    "I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us have...very hard to explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad..."
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  • Skynut
    Skynut Posts: 2,967
    edited February 2007
    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
    My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
    Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
    So Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?
    Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
    I wait for delivery each day until three,
    So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?

    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?
    I’m counting on you, Lord, please don’t let me down.
    Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?

    Everybody!
    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
    My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,
    Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
    So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

    That’s it!
    Skynut
    SOPA® Founder
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    Center RT2000p's (Bi-Wired) (on each side of the television)
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  • zombie boy 2000
    zombie boy 2000 Posts: 6,641
    edited February 2007
    Hoosier... see my first post:D
    I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore
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  • bikezappa
    bikezappa Posts: 2,463
    edited February 2007
    Me... Me..... Me.....
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  • audiobliss
    audiobliss Posts: 12,518
    edited February 2007
    Please give me the confidence and courage that Your Word provides. Surround me with Your strength and perseverance everyday as I enter the world, seemingly alone. Give me the wisdom to see that just because everyone's doing it, I don't have to follow suit. Help me to see the big picture, not losing the forest for the trees. Help me to not get caught up in this stage of life at college, and forget about You. Help me as I one day move on to a career and a family, that I wouldn't forget my priorities and forget You. Help me to rise above the influence of those I'm surrounded by.

    But dear LORD, give me humility, also. While not succumbing to the wills of those around me, help me not become judgemental. Help me to maintain an open mind, and remember that You love the lost as much as You love the forgiven.

    I pray that my actions may be in accordance with Your Will for my life, and that I would be receptive to Your Word as it reaches me through the Bible and the rebuke and reproof of my family, friends, and bretheren. I pray that others may see something in me, that points to You above. That they would see the influence Your grace and mercy has in my life, and that they, too, may come to know Your blessings one day.

    Help me develop a deeper relationship with You, delving into Your Word everyday, conversing with You every minute. Encourage my faith, LORD; help my unbelief.

    In Your Son's holy and most precious name I pray, amen.
    George Grand wrote: »
    Jstas wrote: »
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
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  • Danny Tse
    Danny Tse Posts: 5,206
    edited February 2007
    Strong Bad wrote:
    give me the winner numbers to the largest lotto jackpot in the country.

    Dear God,

    Please give me the winning numbers to any future lottery jackpot in the US.

    Please let me hear a "yes" when I propose to my gf.

    Please let peace reign over our dismal planet.

    That's it. And thank you, oh Mighty One.
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  • polrbehr
    polrbehr Posts: 2,830
    edited February 2007
    Please let my little girl, and others like her, have the most normal life she can, without the need to depend on other people for her well-being. There's still time. She's come so far; don't halt her progress now.
    I am not asking for miracles or even answers to why children are affected...
    rather, help us as a planet find a way to limit the number of children who must
    live with this.
    And give us, as parents, the ability, strength, and patience to help out as much as we can, to help them on their way.
    And find a way to keep Autism Awareness at the forefront of our thoughts
    as a nation.
    So, are you willing to put forth a little effort or are you happy sitting in your skeptical poo pile?


    http://audiomilitia.proboards.com/
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  • McLoki
    McLoki Posts: 5,231
    edited February 2007
    polrbehr wrote:
    Please let my little girl, and others like her, have the most normal life she can, without the need to depend on other people for her well-being. There's still time. She's come so far; don't halt her progress now.
    I am not asking for miracles or even answers to why children are affected...
    rather, help us as a planet find a way to limit the number of children who must
    live with this.
    And give us, as parents, the ability, strength, and patience to help out as much as we can, to help them on their way.
    And find a way to keep Autism Awareness at the forefront of our thoughts
    as a nation.
    Amen.

    BTW - latest report from the CDC puts Autism Spectrum Disorders in children at 1 in 150 (up from 1 in 166 reported in Jan of '04 and 1 in 2,000 in 1980).
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  • riglehart
    riglehart Posts: 276
    edited February 2007
    When I was young I prayed for a new bicycle and never got one. So, I stole one instead and prayed for forgiveness.

    - Emo Phillips
    Jolida Tube
    Polk 11T, 7, 5, 5jr, 4
    Standard equip not worth bragging about.
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2007
    PolkThug wrote:
    Please protect me from your followers.


    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa Ya big heathen you!!!!
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited February 2007
    Why are you all writing letters to me? :confused::confused::confused::confused:
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2007
    Silence, Silence!!!

    Heavenly FATHER,

    Kindly FATHER,

    My FATHER,

    Thy Great God,

    My Loving God,

    My protecting God,

    Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour is helping me!!!
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  • Systems
    Systems Posts: 14,873
    edited February 2007
    Danny Tse wrote:
    Dear God,

    Please give me the winning numbers to any future lottery jackpot in the US.

    Please let me hear a "yes" when I propose to my gf.

    Please let peace reign over our dismal planet.

    That's it. And thank you, oh Mighty One.


    Well one out of three isn't bad I guess.....
    Testing
    Testing
    Testing
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  • Frank Z
    Frank Z Posts: 5,860
    edited February 2007
    Dear Lord,
    My life isn't perfect, but it's perfectly fine.

    Thanks
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
    2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2007
    Frank Z wrote:
    Dear Lord,
    My life isn't perfect, but it's perfectly fine.

    Thanks


    Ditto for me Lord!!!
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  • pblanc
    pblanc Posts: 261
    edited February 2007
    Please God, dear God, oh God: make Shure bring back the VN5MR stylus.
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  • schwarcw
    schwarcw Posts: 7,335
    edited February 2007
    Lord, hear the prayers of your faithful. I pray that you will show the light to those that look for you. Open up the hearts of the hardened, forgive all of us as we are sinners. Thank you for your endless grace.

    Amen!
    Carl

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  • Danny Tse
    Danny Tse Posts: 5,206
    edited February 2007
    Sartori wrote:
    Well one out of three isn't bad I guess.....

    And dear Mighty One.....

    Please let me know which one out of the three "wishes" will be coming true. :D

    That's it....for now.
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  • MacLeod
    MacLeod Posts: 14,358
    edited February 2007
    ...how many Hail Marys would I have to say to be stranded on a deserted tropical island with Kate Beckinsale?
    polkaudio sound quality competitor since 2005
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  • Demiurge
    Demiurge Posts: 10,874
    edited February 2007
    MacLeod wrote:
    ...how many Hail Marys would I have to say to be stranded on a deserted tropical island with Kate Beckinsale?

    Hey, get your own wish. :mad: :p
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