Technical Assistance
hearingimpared
Posts: 21,137
Customer Service (CS) Rep.: "Yes, Ma'am, how may I help you today?"
Customer: "Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE. Can you guide me through the process?"
CS Rep. : "Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?"
Customer: "Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?"
CS Rep. : "The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?"
Customer: "Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?"
CS Rep. : "What programs are running ma'am?"
Customer: "Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now."
CS Rep. : "No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?"
Customer: "I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?"
CS Rep. : "My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased."
Customer: "Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?"
Cs Rep. : "Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?"
Customer: "Yes I do. Is it completely installed?"
Cs Rep. : "Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades."
Customer: "Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?"
Cs Rep. : "What does the message say?"
Customer: "It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS. What does that mean?"
Cs Rep. : "Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in nontechnical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others."
Customer: "So what should I do?"
Cs Rep. : "Can you pull down the directory called "SELFACCEPTANCE"?"
Customer: "Yes, I have it."
Cs Rep. : "Excellent. You're getting good at this."
Customer: "Thank you."
Cs Rep. : "You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely and permanently gone erased."
Customer: "Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?"
Cs Rep. : "Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go."
Customer: "Yes?"
Cs Rep. : "LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will share it with other people and then return some similarly sacred modules back to you."
Customer: "I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?"
Cs Rep. : " You may call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great Physician, but most call me God. Many people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but the Manufacturer suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency. Put another way, keep in touch.
Customer: "Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE. Can you guide me through the process?"
CS Rep. : "Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?"
Customer: "Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?"
CS Rep. : "The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?"
Customer: "Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?"
CS Rep. : "What programs are running ma'am?"
Customer: "Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now."
CS Rep. : "No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?"
Customer: "I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?"
CS Rep. : "My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased."
Customer: "Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?"
Cs Rep. : "Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?"
Customer: "Yes I do. Is it completely installed?"
Cs Rep. : "Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades."
Customer: "Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?"
Cs Rep. : "What does the message say?"
Customer: "It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS. What does that mean?"
Cs Rep. : "Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in nontechnical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others."
Customer: "So what should I do?"
Cs Rep. : "Can you pull down the directory called "SELFACCEPTANCE"?"
Customer: "Yes, I have it."
Cs Rep. : "Excellent. You're getting good at this."
Customer: "Thank you."
Cs Rep. : "You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely and permanently gone erased."
Customer: "Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?"
Cs Rep. : "Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go."
Customer: "Yes?"
Cs Rep. : "LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will share it with other people and then return some similarly sacred modules back to you."
Customer: "I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?"
Cs Rep. : " You may call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great Physician, but most call me God. Many people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but the Manufacturer suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency. Put another way, keep in touch.
Post edited by hearingimpared on
Comments
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I take it you're religious hearingimpared?Lovin that music year after year.
Main 2 Channel System
Polk SDA-1B,
Promitheus Audio TVC SE,
Rotel RB-980BX,
OPPO DV-970HD,
Lite Audio DAC AH,
IXOS XHA305 Interconnects
Computer Rig
Polk SDA CRS+,
Creek Audio 5350 SE,
Morrow Audio MA1 Interconnect,
HRT Music Streamer II -
Despite the previous bland reviews from "Siskel & Ebert" above, I thought that was quite nice, HearingImpaired.
Sal Palooza -
mrbigbluelight wrote:Despite the previous bland reviews from "Siskel & Ebert" above, I thought that was quite nice, HearingImpaired.
- I know a couple of folks who desparately need this upgrade. I may need to send them a copy. "Just because youre offended doesnt mean youre right." - Ricky Gervais
"For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase
"Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson -
brettw22 wrote:ummmmm............ok?
At least its better than all the true stories of God installing CANCER.EXE. -
Excellent. We can all use a bit self-reflection now and then. Those without love in their life are truly lost.
Never forget the sacrifices the significant people in your life made to help you get whereever you are, they were motivated by Love.
RT1 -
Refefer wrote:I take it you're religious hearingimpared?
Not religious, Spiritual, I try my best each day. -
Nice I enjoyed it thank you for sharing Hearingimpared.
Speakers
Carver Amazing Fronts
CS400i Center
RT800i's Rears
Sub Paradigm Servo 15
Electronics
Conrad Johnson PV-5 pre-amp
Parasound Halo A23
Pioneer 84TXSi AVR
Pioneer 79Avi DVD
Sony CX400 CD changer
Panasonic 42-PX60U Plasma
WMC Win7 32bit HD DVR -
Very nice, hearingimpared. Thanks for the good read.
In UseGeorge Grand wrote: »
PS3, Yamaha CDR-HD1300, Plex, Amazon Fire TV Gen 2
Pioneer Elite VSX-52, Parasound HCA-1000A
Klipsch RF-82ii, RC-62ii, RS-42ii, RW-10d
Epson 8700UB
In Storage
[Home Audio]
Rotel RCD-02, Yamaha KX-W900U, Sony ST-S500ES, Denon DP-7F
Pro-Ject Phono Box MKII, Parasound P/HP-850, ASL Wave 20 monoblocks
Klipsch RF-35, RB-51ii
[Car Audio]
Pioneer Premier DEH-P860MP, Memphis 16-MCA3004, Boston Acoustic RC520 -
Great reminder. thanks
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Excellent!
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This is great, ill have to forward it to a few people.
DaveOnce again we meet at last.
