The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational
F1nut
Posts: 50,647
>The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
>take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or
>changing ONLY ONE letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this
>year's {2005} winners:
>
>
>1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
>subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
>
>
>2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ****.
>
>
>3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
> until you realize it was your money to start with.
>
>
>4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
>
>5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
>stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
>shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
>
>
>6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>
>
>7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
>
>
>8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are
>running late.
>
>
>9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
>
>
>10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
>credit.)
>
>
>11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all
>these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and
>it's like, a serious bummer.
>
>
>12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the
>day consuming only things that are good for you.
>
>
>13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
>
>
>14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
>smarter, when they come at you rapidly.
>
>
>15. Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
>
>
>16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets
>into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>
>
>17. Caterpallor: The colour you turn after finding half a
>worm in the fruit you're eating.
>
>
>Also.....................
>
>
>Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions
>to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
>meanings for common words.
>
>
>The winners are:
>
>
>1. Coffee (n.): the person upon whom one coughs.
>
>
>2. Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much weight you have
>gained.
>
>
>3. Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a
>flat stomach.
>
>
>4. Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while
drunk.
>
>
>5. Negligent (adj.): describes a condition in which you
>absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
>
>
>6. Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.
>
>
>8. Gargoyle (n.): olive-flavoured mouthwash.
>
>
>9. Flatulence (n.): emergency vehicle that picks you up
>after you are run over by a steamroller.
>
>
>10. Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline.
>
>
>11. **** (n.): a humorous question on an exam.
>
>
>12. Rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified bearing
adopted by proctologists.
>
>
>13. Pokemon (n): a Rastafarian proctologist.
>
>
>14. Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his
>conversation with Yiddishisms.
>
>
>15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) [back by popular demand]:The belief
that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>
>
>16. Circumvent (n.): an opening in the front of boxer
shorts worn by Jewish men
>take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or
>changing ONLY ONE letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this
>year's {2005} winners:
>
>
>1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
>subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
>
>
>2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ****.
>
>
>3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
> until you realize it was your money to start with.
>
>
>4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
>
>5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
>stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
>shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
>
>
>6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>
>
>7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
>
>
>8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are
>running late.
>
>
>9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
>
>
>10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
>credit.)
>
>
>11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all
>these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and
>it's like, a serious bummer.
>
>
>12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the
>day consuming only things that are good for you.
>
>
>13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
>
>
>14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
>smarter, when they come at you rapidly.
>
>
>15. Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
>
>
>16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets
>into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>
>
>17. Caterpallor: The colour you turn after finding half a
>worm in the fruit you're eating.
>
>
>Also.....................
>
>
>Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions
>to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
>meanings for common words.
>
>
>The winners are:
>
>
>1. Coffee (n.): the person upon whom one coughs.
>
>
>2. Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much weight you have
>gained.
>
>
>3. Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a
>flat stomach.
>
>
>4. Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while
drunk.
>
>
>5. Negligent (adj.): describes a condition in which you
>absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
>
>
>6. Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.
>
>
>8. Gargoyle (n.): olive-flavoured mouthwash.
>
>
>9. Flatulence (n.): emergency vehicle that picks you up
>after you are run over by a steamroller.
>
>
>10. Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline.
>
>
>11. **** (n.): a humorous question on an exam.
>
>
>12. Rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified bearing
adopted by proctologists.
>
>
>13. Pokemon (n): a Rastafarian proctologist.
>
>
>14. Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his
>conversation with Yiddishisms.
>
>
>15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) [back by popular demand]:The belief
that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>
>
>16. Circumvent (n.): an opening in the front of boxer
shorts worn by Jewish men
Political Correctness'.........defined
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
Comments
-
Funny:D
Good postReceiver: harmankardon AVR235
Mains: polk R30
Center: polk CSi3
Rear Surrounds: polk R20
Subwoofer: polk PSW404
DVD: Panasonic DVD-S29 -
