Stress relief....
TroyD
Posts: 13,077
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Fred Hannifin. Could
I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an ****!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word '****' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an ****!"
It always cheered me up. When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic '****' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said,
"Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an ****!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a For Sale" sign in his car window ... so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first ****, I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW ****, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. When's a good time to catch you, Don?"I'm home every evening after five."Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"Yes?" "Don, you're an ****." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two **** to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
So, I came up with an idea. I called **** #1.
Hello."
"You're an ****!" (But I didn't hang up.)
Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"****, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with
my black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over
right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ****."
Then I called **** #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, ****," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who> you are?"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ***," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, ****, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
lived
at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my **** lover.
Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on
West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th Street.
There I saw two **** beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
NOW, I feel better.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Fred Hannifin. Could
I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an ****!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word '****' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an ****!"
It always cheered me up. When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic '****' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said,
"Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an ****!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a For Sale" sign in his car window ... so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first ****, I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW ****, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. When's a good time to catch you, Don?"I'm home every evening after five."Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"Yes?" "Don, you're an ****." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two **** to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
So, I came up with an idea. I called **** #1.
Hello."
"You're an ****!" (But I didn't hang up.)
Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"****, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with
my black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over
right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ****."
Then I called **** #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, ****," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who> you are?"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ***," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, ****, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
lived
at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my **** lover.
Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on
West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th Street.
There I saw two **** beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
NOW, I feel better.
I plan for the future. - F1Nut
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
Comments
-
Troy,
You have some serious issues man.;)
But still very funny.:D"SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAURICE,
CAUSE I SPEAK OF THE POMPITIOUS OF LOVE" -
That is hiliarous!!
-
Hell hath no fury like an audiophile scorned....I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore
-
Roflmao!!!!:dMarantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2
-
-
ROFLMREO!! Please tell me you at least got some footage of the fight? LOL
In UseGeorge Grand wrote: »
PS3, Yamaha CDR-HD1300, Plex, Amazon Fire TV Gen 2
Pioneer Elite VSX-52, Parasound HCA-1000A
Klipsch RF-82ii, RC-62ii, RS-42ii, RW-10d
Epson 8700UB
In Storage
[Home Audio]
Rotel RCD-02, Yamaha KX-W900U, Sony ST-S500ES, Denon DP-7F
Pro-Ject Phono Box MKII, Parasound P/HP-850, ASL Wave 20 monoblocks
Klipsch RF-35, RB-51ii
[Car Audio]
Pioneer Premier DEH-P860MP, Memphis 16-MCA3004, Boston Acoustic RC520 -
WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaPolitical Correctness'.........defined
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk -
-
.Jon wrote:hey mista this is stolen writing
Walks up beside .Jon in a trench coat and fedora
pssssssssssst....(looks both ways real non-chalantly)....it's a JOKE...
A Joke??
SHHHHHHHHHHHHH....riiiiighhht.....
Anybody remember that skit from Seasame Street where the guy was selling Ernie an invisible ice cream cone?
BDTI plan for the future. - F1Nut -
Scott? He just popped up again on AK, keep your eyes open wide.Check your lips at the door woman. Shake your hips like battleships. Yeah, all the white girls trip when I sing at Sunday service.
