Something to Offend Everyone...
Tour2ma
Posts: 10,177
Recent e-mail offering...
==========================================================
==========================================================
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is! the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it
What do you see when the
Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal
unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities
What's the difference between
a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between
a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends
What's the difference between
a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars
that they have no intention of driving
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the **** on the outside
What did the blonde say when
she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you
Why did OJ Simpson want to
move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA
Why do men find it difficult
to make eye contact?
**** don't have eyes
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying, "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal
on the front of the cage along with.... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****"
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is! the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it
What do you see when the
Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal
unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities
What's the difference between
a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between
a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends
What's the difference between
a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars
that they have no intention of driving
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the **** on the outside
What did the blonde say when
she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you
Why did OJ Simpson want to
move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA
Why do men find it difficult
to make eye contact?
**** don't have eyes
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying, "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal
on the front of the cage along with.... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****"
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
More later,
Tour...
Vox Copuli
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Old English Proverb
"Death doesn't come with a Uhaul." - Dennis Gardner
"It's easy to get lost in price vs performance vs ego vs illusion." - doro
"There is a certain entertainment value in ripping the occaisonal (sic) buttmunch..." - TroyD
Tour...
Vox Copuli
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Old English Proverb
"Death doesn't come with a Uhaul." - Dennis Gardner
"It's easy to get lost in price vs performance vs ego vs illusion." - doro
"There is a certain entertainment value in ripping the occaisonal (sic) buttmunch..." - TroyD
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
Comments
-
WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaIf...
Ron dislikes a film = go out and buy it.
Ron loves a film = don't even rent. -
Great Sunday morning reading for all :cool:
"SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAURICE,
CAUSE I SPEAK OF THE POMPITIOUS OF LOVE" -
WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaPolitical Correctness'.........defined
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk -
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
-
Waaaaaaaa!!!Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2
-
aaarrrrrrrrrrrr hhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr haaaaaaarrrrrr
-
-
Nice collection of jokes.
You forgot to offend the Christians.
Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's candy.
They keep falling through the holes in his hand.
There that should do it. :eek:The Family
Polk SDA-1C's
Polk SDA-2
Polk Monitor 10B's
Polk LSI-9's
Polk Monitor 5's
Polk 5 jr's
Polk PSW-450 Sub
Polk CSI40 Center
Do not one day come to die, and discover you have not lived.
This is pretty f***ed up right here. -
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Good ones.Salk SoundScape 8's * Audio Research Reference 3 * Bottlehead Eros Phono * Park's Audio Budgie SUT * Krell KSA-250 * Harmonic Technology Pro 9+ * Signature Series Sonore Music Server w/Deux PS * Roon * Gustard R26 DAC / Singxer SU-6 DDC * Heavy Plinth Lenco L75 Idler Drive * AA MG-1 Linear Air Bearing Arm * AT33PTG/II & Denon 103R * Richard Gray 600S * NHT B-12d subs * GIK Acoustic Treatments * Sennheiser HD650 *
-
Tour2ma wrote:Recent e-mail offering...
==========================================================SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
That sounds kind of brokebackish....
By the way that is my name :mad: j/k. I love humor, and enjoy a good laugh
.
HaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAlpine: CDA-7949
Alpine: PXA-H600
Alpine: CHA-S624, KCA-420i, KCA-410C
Rainbow: CS 265 Profi Phase Plug / SL 165
ARC Audio: 4150-XXK / 1500v1-XXK
JL Audio: 10W6v2 (x2)
KnuKonceptz
Second Skin -
Thos are great. Tears in our eyes as I type.Michael
In the beginning, all knowledge was new!
NORTH of 60° -
That was totally inapproprtate, offensive and insensitive...... so naturally I love it!polkaudio sound quality competitor since 2005
MECA SQ Rookie of the Year 06 ~ MECA State Champ 06,07,08,11 ~ MECA World Finals 2nd place 06,07,08,09
08 Car Audio Nationals 1st ~ 07 N Georgia Nationals 1st ~ 06 Carl Casper Nationals 1st ~ USACi 05 Southeast AutumnFest 1st
polkaudio SR6500 --- polkaudio MM1040 x2 -- Pioneer P99 -- Rockford Fosgate P1000X5D -
Those were great. Thanks.
A couple of my friends got dragged to some churchy christmas thing and one of the pastors told this joke to my friends.Tour2ma wrote:What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Good joke but bad timing since my friends girlfriend's dad has been riding a Harley since he was 16 and is an ex **** angels member. About two weeks before that someone pulled in front of him and he dumped the bike and slid into the car which ended up hospitalizing him for months and nearly killing him. She wasn't too thrilled about that comment by the pastor -
I think I'm offended........
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
......in the name of the Chinese! Yeah, that's it. -
"Oh, where do you normally go ?".
Good stuff.
..quote stolen from a little ditty from Groucho to Margaret Dumont.Sal Palooza
