Casey, my lab-golden mix

audiobliss

For the last three days or so, Casey hasn't been acting like herself at all. Whenever I go outside, she doesn't even get up. It takes a lot of coaxing to get her to move. But when she does, her movement isn't strained, so I haven't been thinking it's been her arthritis. Yesterday I went out and started cutting some of the notts out of her fur and grooming her, and she actually started wagging her tail and getting a little ramped up, which was good, because before she was just lathargic and apathetic.

Well, I went outside this morning to feed her and fill up her water bowl, and I walked by where she was laying down to get to her water bowl. I noticed her mouth looked a little different, and there a few more than the usual number of flies buzzing around her. Then I noticed that her side wasn't moving at all. Well, Mom and Dad came out and took a look, and we noticed her eyes are open, and her limbs are stiff. Isn't that 'rigor mortis' or something?

Anyhoo, I think I'm taking it better than Mom is, which is quite surprising. She's on the phone with animal control as I type this.

I must admit, though, I keep thinking I'll walk out on the porch and see her get up....:(

george daniel

Sorry for your loss,sounds like she passed peacefully though.

George Grand

She's in a better place chasing down squirrels my friend. I'm so sorry for you and Mom & Dad.

MacLeod

Dogs rule! There is no more loyal, devoted and loving animal in existance. They become as much a member of the family as, well, a member of your family! Just take comfort that she had a good life, was well taken care of and well loved.

McLoki

Very sorry to hear of your loss.

Michael

marker

This is for you and your mom bliss.

bobman1235

Nothing worse than losing a good dog. My dog (golden lab) passed similarly a couple years back - lethargic for a few days, getting progressively worse over the course of a week or so. We actually had him put down - the vet said he had an advanced form of lime disease and there was nothing we could do.

Sorry for your loss.

"Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, and all the Virtues of Man, without his Vices. This Praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just tribute to the Memory of Boatswain, a Dog." - George Gordon, Lord Byron, "Inscription on the Monument of a Newfoundland Dog

madmax

So sorry to hear. Having a good life is important, sounds like thats what she had.
Chuck

read-alot

audio,
One of the toughest things in life is losing friends and my heart goes out to you and your family on the loss of Casey.

Mike

SCompRacer

Sorry to hear of your loss. It is good that when it's time, they go quick rather than suffering and you having to put them down.

Toxis

Terribly sorry to hear about your loss. I'm a huge animal lover and just the thought of a dog passing is saddening to me. Take care of yourself.

audiobliss

Thanks for all the thoughts, guys; I appreciate it. Those poems and quotes are really great, too.

I must admit that her passing and actually being gone is not that painful for me. I've yet to shed a tear, and I relunctantly admit that her absence won't change my life that much. For the last few months, I never spent more than 5 to 15 minutes with her everyday. Sometimes just long enough to go outside and feed/water her twice a day. Prior to a few months ago, I would wrap up in a jacket and go outside to be with her after dark about 9 or 10 in the evenings. I would just lay down beside her and pet her and play with her. Those were great times, to just lay there and forget about everything else, and I imagine we both enjoyed it. But here recently I just didn't have/make any time for her.

The thing that comes closest to moving me to tears, and would quite easily do it if I thought about it enough, is thinking about her life, and especially this past week of her life. Unfortunately, after the first few years of her life while I was young, she just didn't receive the kind of attention a dog like her deserved. Now, I'm not saying I abused her and neglected to feed her, because I didn't, as long as you consider the occasional lapses of responsibilty a youth has. I just think about her moping around the back yard inside our fence, barking at the occasional passerby, having absolutely nothing to do. What a horrid, empty life. I wouldn't be surprised if she just keeled over from exhaustion from the mundane.

I also can't help but think what she 'thought' during those last few days. She started acting weird Tuesday; even the neighbor noticed she was acting different. And we just kinda shrugged it off. Don't ask why, but we did. It was strange for her to be so indifferent about everything, but it didn't strike us as being the sympton of something so obviously life-threatening.

Last night I layed down beside her again like I used to do and just pet and stroked her, and talked to her. For the most part, she just acted like I wasn't even there. After about 10 minutes she got up, walked to her water bowl (about 3 steps away), lapped up some water, and then layed back down even farther away from me. So she was just not paying any attention to me at all. It actually struck me that she was treating me how I so often treat Mom: with unheeding disrespect, completely ignoring her existence. I sat there and stared at her as best I could in the darkness and thought about her for a few minutes, then went inside. Then when I went to feed her the next morning, she was dead.

The one thing I will ask myself for a long time, if not forever, is why she died, and what it was like that night. She obviously felt alone, and she appearantly wasn't comforted in the least by my presence last night. So she layed there on the cold hard ground last night, alone in the darkness, and felt whatever this was slowly take an ever-firmer hold on her, until it finally took her away. How long did it take? How painful was it? How did she feel, even if it didn't hurt, being out there all alone suffering through it? And how long had she been dead when I found her? It was definitely a very strange thing indeed to see one of your best friends laying there on the ground, side warmed by the sun, and yet lifeless. When I grabbed her leg, it was as stiff as a stick. That was the weirdest feeling. Something you identified yourself with, were so closely related to, you can now feel as an inanimate, lifeless 'thing'...totally the complete opposite of what you had previously known her as.

I only wish I could have been beside her last night through it all. Such a good, close friend...always so ready to encourage and uplift...lived a thankless, monotinous life....and fought her last battle completely and utterly alone.

I know one thing for sure....next dog I have, will never receive less than my full attention and affection for as long every day as I can possibly devote it to him.

Here are some pics of her I found on Dad's PC. Since I reformatted my computer two weeks ago, I don't even have any decent pics of Casey.

Burnzy

Sorry to hear about your loss.


Scott

organ

audiobliss wrote:

Last night I layed down beside her again like I used to do and just pet and stroked her, and talked to her. For the most part, she just acted like I wasn't even there. After about 10 minutes she got up, walked to her water bowl (about 3 steps away), lapped up some water, and then layed back down even farther away from me. So she was just not paying any attention to me at all. It actually struck me that she was treating me how I so often treat Mom: with unheeding disrespect, completely ignoring her existence. I sat there and stared at her as best I could in the darkness and thought about her for a few minutes, then went inside. Then when I went to feed her the next morning, she was dead.

So sorry to hear your loss, Bliss. I'm sure she had a good life with you and your family and that's the most important thing. Thanks for sharing the pics. She's a beautiful dog.

Don't blame yourself about Casey not wanting to be with you that night. She probably wasn't feeling very comfortable that night and just wanted to be alone. She wouldn't know if she was ill or dying. Just think about the good times you shared with her.

I also lost my dog, Missy, last year in August (she was a Maltese) and it was very painful. And like you, I regret not spending enough time with her. She did pretty much the same thing Casey did the last few days before passing. She was in pain and didn't care who was with her at the time. Like I mentioned earlier, they don't know they're dying.

So try not to be too hard on yourself.

Take care

Maurice

HiPerf360

Dogs instinctualy try to leave their home and die alone away from the family / pack.

Unfortunately dogs that are kept fenced up can not do this (nothing wrong with having a dog fenced...) and she was just trying to separate herself from you. She knew it was coming.

I am terribly sorry for your loss...

If dogs aren't allowed in heaven I'll just hang around the gates.

wingnut4772

Sorry to hear about Casey. Dogs are so awesome and it is always a struggle because out time with them is limited. dogs have to be allowed in Heaven because it's Heaven.

Willow

really sorry to hear of your family's loss. I can only begin to think of how hard it is. The day Willow goes, it will be one of the toughest.

Frank Z

Sorry for your loss.

heiney9

Sorry for your loss; you will always have your memories. FWIW, taking a loving pet to have her/him put to sleep isn't any easier. Be thankful he went in his sleep where he was comfortable and familiar.

H9

cfrizz

My condolences.

ohskigod

that sucks, I got a 12 yr old shepard. I had my scare, but I know its coming.

The silver lining is, she died at home.

my condolences bud

audiobliss

Thanks, guys.

Overall, it's been pretty easy to deal with. More than a few times I've caught myself walking towards the backyard, or looking in the fence to see what Casey is doing, but I don't think it will be too hard to adjust.

It took me a while to get to sleep Saturday night. But, I still have the memories.

TroyD

My condolances. Dogs Rule.

BDT

Skynut

I feel your pain.

My dogs are part of my family, they live inside with us and protect our belongings when we are not home. The reason they live inside is because I felt like I did not give my childhood dog enough attention. It was an outside dog and was never allowed inside. As a kid I would go out and play with him once or twice a week. When it died I remember thinking I should have spent more time with him because that was all he wanted.
Now I get to make my own rules and I say the dogs are inside. My family, visitors and I just have to deal with dog hair and slobber. It is just a fact of life that we accept.

I wish no-one had to deal with the death of their dog but if it were the other way the dog would have to deal with loosing us and that would really suck.

Good luck
Sky

schwarcw

Sorry to hear about your loss. Dogs are so much like family. Losing a dear one like Casey is very hard. I wish you and your family the best!