Speaking of Bad Remake Ideas...
Tour2ma
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Vox Copuli
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Old English Proverb
"Death doesn't come with a Uhaul." - Dennis Gardner
"It's easy to get lost in price vs performance vs ego vs illusion." - doro
"There is a certain entertainment value in ripping the occaisonal (sic) buttmunch..." - TroyD
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I usually hate remakes, but will go to see this one. With Steve Martin, Kevin Kline and Jean Reno on board it might be okay. Definitely has potential for "part II" and "part III" which could be disasters.
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While I liked the original, I think I will take a pass on this one, and anything else that might be 'French'.
I will just stay at home and eat some freedom fries!Jerry
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I want to see it, but I'll wait for cable or rental (if it wasn't steve martin, I would have no desire to see it).
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This is kind of ancient news...
And two of the worst remakes ever made had to be The Amityville Horror and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre -- both of which literally butchered the original films' effectiveness to smithereens. I also hated the remake of House of Wax; I'll try to pull up my DVD review of it... -
The original Amityville Horror was effective?More later,
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Vox Copuli
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Old English Proverb
"Death doesn't come with a Uhaul." - Dennis Gardner
"It's easy to get lost in price vs performance vs ego vs illusion." - doro
"There is a certain entertainment value in ripping the occaisonal (sic) buttmunch..." - TroyD -
Tour2ma wrote:The original Amityville Horror was effective?
ABSOLUTELY. I dont know exactly how old you are or if you grew up on these haunted house thrillers, but I lived EXACTLY 15 MINUTES from the real house where Ronald DeFeo murdered his family in Amityville, New York, and I know relatives of the family and have heard stories of what REALLY happened there....I have been to the house several times and spoken with the new people who lived there just until about a year ago...believe me when I tell you that while many, many liberties were taken with Stuart Rosenberg's 1979 The Amityville Horror when he adapted it from Jay Anson's novel version, the remake was COMPLETE and UTTER trash, nonsense and was not accurate in the least bit -- the original was effective because it showed so much LESS of what the remake showed and relied on atmosphere and Lalo Schrifferin's score to create a mood -- the remake had NO accuracy to it whatsoever; the house looked NOTHING like the real 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville (the original was filmed in Tom's River, New Jersey, and that house at least looked like a dramatic version of the real De Feo/Lutz home), the kids, George, Cathy and the priest acted NOTHING like was chronicled in the novel....and to make everything worse, the remake had George Lutz (a ridiculousy over-muscled and way-too-young Ryan Reynolds -- James Brolin was SO much more effective in the first one) hacking his dog Harry to death with a machete -- this NEVER happened in the real story. And what was up with their daughter climbing on the roof of the house ready to jump off because "Jodie" told her to do it? And what was with the immaginary friend Jodie anyway in the remake -- suddenly, from Jay Anson's novel which depicted Jodie as a "pig-like creature", it becomes a dead De Feo daughter's ghost running around the house? Give me a break, man....utterly, utterly inaccurate. And, George Lutz's dog Harry was a black lab -- not a Sheltie as depicted in the remake...
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: -
I saw the original 13 Ghosts first release in a theater, so I'd have to guess that I am old enough for you to call me sir...
So they made a bad movie worse. BFD.
The book was stupid to a level approximating "Chariots of the Gods", i.e., "what other explanantion could there be?" brilliance. I'll agree that the movie was one of James Brolin's finest, but then again he was never in a good movie...More later,
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Vox Copuli
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Old English Proverb
"Death doesn't come with a Uhaul." - Dennis Gardner
"It's easy to get lost in price vs performance vs ego vs illusion." - doro
"There is a certain entertainment value in ripping the occaisonal (sic) buttmunch..." - TroyD -
OnkyoFanatic wrote:This is kind of ancient news...
And two of the worst remakes ever made had to be The Amityville Horror and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre -- both of which literally butchered the original films' effectiveness to smithereens. I also hated the remake of House of Wax; I'll try to pull up my DVD review of it...
believe me i was beyond skeptical about this remake, with Hooper's original being one of the all-time greats in American cinema... period
but somehow, someway, i felt this recent incarnation captured much of the original's spirit -- most notably the isolation, persecution and good ol' fashioned Texas heat
all you have to do is reference the scene where the local sheriff "asks" the kids in distress for a demonstration of the events leading up to the hitchhiker's suicide
brilliantI never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore -
"I saw the original 13 Ghosts first release in a theater, so I'd have to guess that I am old enough for you to call me sir..."
Fair enough; I have been exploring and researching the Amityville case since I was in college, which was a while ago...
"So they made a bad movie worse. BFD."
Not true; the honor of the Lutz family name was completely and utterly disgraced -- as well as the De Feo name -- by this remake (we can thank Michael Bay and Andrew Douglas for this)...the original was in no way a bad film when its looked at for what it was and for what it was trying to do -- it didnt rely on ridiculous CGI, shots of half naked hot babysitters with huge **** who were ****, or all the other cliches associated with the nonsense that comes out of Hollywood remakes today....sure, younger people who sit down and watch the 1979 original laugh, mock and spit at in in disbelief or comedic pokery -- but they simply dont "get it"....the mood established in the film was much more effective than any special effects that could have been used, to the point that the house itself was a character in the story -- American International Pictures received accolades from the press for allowing such a dramatic experience into theaters at the time.
"The book was stupid to a level approximating "Chariots of the Gods", i.e., "what other explanantion could there be?" brilliance. I'll agree that the movie was one of James Brolin's finest, but then again he was never in a good movie..."
Im not arguing anything about James Brolin; Im just saying next to RYAN REYNOLDS of the remake, HIS performance was so much more spot-on and if you knew anything about the real Lutz family you would understand this instantly -- Reynolds looked, acted and seemed NOTHING -- absolutely NOTHING -- like the real George Lutz....now, as for the book, you may call it "stupid" and yes, many, many things were disproven about the "facts" Anson calls up in his rhetoric, such as the house being built under an Indian burial ground -- but the fact of the matter is the 1979 original film adaptation played closer to the pages of that book than the remake ever will -- and whats ironic is that if you watch all the pre-press motivation programs for the making of the remake, you will see where they SWEAR it was supposed to play closer to the novel even MORESO than the 1979 version from American International (now released by MGM for DVD reissue)...
...they couldnt have been further from the truth....
:rolleyes: -
zombie boy 2000 wrote:going to have to disagree with you on Massacre...
believe me i was beyond skeptical about this remake, with Hooper's original being one of the all-time greats in American cinema... period
but somehow, someway, i felt this recent incarnation captured much of the original's spirit -- most notably the isolation, persecution and good ol' fashioned Texas heat
all you have to do is reference the scene where the local sheriff "asks" the kids in distress for a demonstration of the events leading up to the hitchhiker's suicide
brilliant
UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! ABSOLUTELY NO WAY! The remake was a travesty to Hooper's original vision....there is simply no way the style -- which substitutes the creepy, cheap novice look and feel of the filmmakers intentions on a college budget for Jessica Beil's **** -- can match the downright ridiculously campy, claustrophobic approach evidenced when Sally is being tied to that chair at the end and tortured by the cannibals....
The Chainsaw Massacre remake has consistently been voted worst remake by me time after time when the subject comes up; the Leatherface character in my opinion was totally missed and constrewed on the remake; these remakes today are simply Hollywood's way of taking classic horror masterpieces that rely on MOOD and ATMOSPHERE -- much like John Carpenter's Halloween as a GREAT example -- and creating updated versions for the teen audiences that pack theaters today so they can "relate" to the characters better....characters that are suddenly wearing crop-tops and tight tank tops, low-rider jeans, looking all sexy and perfect with huge **** and six pack stomachs....the scares are cliche, the techniques have been done before and they're just boring; the best remake of the bunch so far has been Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead, with William Malone's House on Haunted Hill second. -
listen.. i consider myself a horror-purist (in much the same way that i imagine you do)
i simply cannot stand 99% of what qualifies as a "horror movie" nowadays... much of it, as you say, sacrificing mood and atmosphere for a pre-packaged and easily digested amalgamation of hollywood archetypes...
the new Amityville -- horrible, no doubt about it
and i was expecting Massacre to be even worse, but i was surprised -- plain and simple
the tale's progression was a fine balance of camp and severity, much in the same vein as the orignial
i felt dirty and bloody just watching this movie
Hooper's own had the same immersive qualities..
again, i cannot stress to you how surprised i was to find myself liking this flick
as for Dawn of the Dead?
talk about trading in "mood and atmosphere" for mindless action
and i was wanting (nay begging) to love this remakeI never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore -
"listen.. i consider myself a horror-purist (in much the same way that i imagine you do)"
Indeed; I am.
"i simply cannot stand 99% of what qualifies as a "horror movie" nowadays... much of it, as you say, sacrificing mood and atmosphere for a pre-packaged and easily digested amalgamation of hollywood archetypes...
the new Amityville -- horrible, no doubt about it"
Okay, absolutely agreed....
"and i was expecting Massacre to be even worse, but i was surprised -- plain and simple"
If it seems so plain and simple to you, thats very much fine...it was an utter disgrace to me, especially since one of my cousins were involved in the pre-production with the college kids that helped Hooper out on the original...some students from UCLA, that is...funny how his Poltergeist, years later, would feel more like a Spielberg film than anything resembling a Texas Chainsaw Massacre "follow up"....at any rate, the remake blew chunks compared to the original, which is a macabre masterpiece and an offbeat testamony to cult-legion horror fanatics.
"the tale's progression was a fine balance of camp and severity, much in the same vein as the orignial"
Oh absolutely not....there was nothing unique about the progression of the remake at all -- cliche pacing (see the remake of HOUSE OF WAX and CABIN FEVER or perhaps HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES....another idiotic group of idiotic college-aged morons are once again wandering into a region teeming with inbred manaics; dont they ever learn? Oh, and yes, see also WRONG TURN....), cliche characterization (do we really need to see closeups of Beil's **** in those jeans CONSTANTLY in ever shot -- which isnt bad when taken by itself -- because the production team had nothing else to fall back on?), and I felt Lee J Emery's position as the sheriff was just plain stupid. Just my opinion.
"i felt dirty and bloody just watching this movie
Hooper's own had the same immersive qualities.."
The remake was "immersive"? Okay....if you say so....it was laughable in my opinion and shouldnt be mentioned along with Tobe Hooper's name in the same sentence. You felt "dirty" because half the time the idiotic lead roles are rolling around in the mud face down with Emery's character's shotgun to their heads (okay....that happened once...but you know what I mean).
"again, i cannot stress to you how surprised i was to find myself liking this flick"
My condolences...:)
"as for Dawn of the Dead?
talk about trading in "mood and atmosphere" for mindless action
and i was wanting (nay begging) to love this remake"
Snyder upped the energy on this remake and took away what was once a sleeper and overrated "horror film" (but was in reality more a social statement) by Romero and made the best remake to date.
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so when precisely does "mindless action" transform into "upping the energy"?
tomatoes and tamatos pal
and we're going to have to beg to differ here...
believe me, i wanted to hate the remake of Massacre, fearing it would compromise Hooper's already tenuous position in the Hollywood mythos (Romero being more firmly grounded)
however, i enjoyed it (on repeated viewings mindya), and i know this opens me up for target practice by most Fangoria types
but you like what you like, and it doesn't make me any more misinformed or misguided
and i loved cabin fever.... god bless, are we going to have to arm wrestle to settle this?
gotta goI never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore -
"so when precisely does "mindless action" transform into "upping the energy"?"
When exactly is YOUR assesment of "mindless action" the be-all, end-all of Dawn of the Dead remake summaries?
"tomatoes and tamatos pal"
Now was that really called for?
"and we're going to have to beg to differ here...
believe me, i wanted to hate the remake of Massacre, fearing it would compromise Hooper's already tenuous position in the Hollywood mythos (Romero being more firmly grounded)
however, i enjoyed it (on repeated viewings mindya), and i know this opens me up for target practice by most Fangoria types"
Indeed; you should have stuck to hating it....
"but you like what you like, and it doesn't make me any more misinformed or misguided"
Never said you were misguided; but, you must know, the remake of Massacre did suck massive donkey balls compared to Hooper's original vision of terror.
"and i loved cabin fever.... god bless, are we going to have to arm wrestle to settle this?"
I never said anything derragatory about Cabin Fever EXCEPT that the plot was cliched and copied and thrown around all the Hollywood remakes of today -- the kids in the woods being stalked by toothless inbreds....can you deny this recipe has been EXHAUSTIVELY used already?
It was actually a decent, creppy, attention-grabbing little flick that I seem to watch every time its on cable (Cabin Fever, that is), but thats separate from saying the plot and setup is ridiculously chiched...
Arm wrestle? Nahhh.....I'd probably lose; better to call sucky films out when they do suck!
Enjoy!
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My wife and daughter want to see this. I'm trying hard to ignore them and I will find a reason to avoid this huge ****.If...
Ron dislikes a film = go out and buy it.
Ron loves a film = don't even rent. -
Ron-P wrote:My wife and daughter want to see this. I'm trying hard to ignore them and I will find a reason to avoid this huge ****.
You mean The Pink Panther? -
Yeah, I was kinda skeptical about it too. But Im a big fan of Steve Martin and Kevin Kline so it has some potential.
The one thing I hate about it is Beyonce Knowels. Im so f**king sick of singers and rappers being in movies! They cant act! I dont want to see Anthony Hopkins bouncing around on stage lip syncing some stupid song and I dont want to see Ja Rule trying to act!polkaudio sound quality competitor since 2005
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"The one thing I hate about it is Beyonce Knowels. Im so f**king sick of singers and rappers being in movies! They cant act! I dont want to see Anthony Hopkins bouncing around on stage lip syncing some stupid song and I dont want to see Ja Rule trying to act!"
I know EXACTLY what you mean....I cant STAND rappers being in films either....I knew the HALLOWEEN franchise was absolutely OVER and DONE when Busta Rhymes yelled out "Happy Halloween, Motha Fucka!!!" in the last Halloween film; I mean, what is GOING ON with Hollywood???
:mad: -
I saw the original "13 Ghosts" in the theater when it came out, AND I was living on Glenmore Avenue in Central Islip when Ron DeFeo put his name in Newsday, so I guess I'M old enough for you to call..........Agamemnon. No wait, call me King Agamemnon. None of that is worth a hill of ****, but I WOULD like to know exactly what a "horror purist" is.
Please give me a good laugh.
George Grand (of the Jersey Grands) -
MacLeod wrote:The one thing I hate about it is Beyonce Knowels. Im so f**king sick of singers and rappers being in movies! They cant act! I dont want to see Anthony Hopkins bouncing around on stage lip syncing some stupid song and I dont want to see Ja Rule trying to act!
Anyone get annoyed when you saw so much exposure from popstars, rappers, hip hop artists that invaded the Oscars last year? As if you didn't see enough of them on your tv and magazine tabloids, music channels, clothing, I-pods, etc. It began to look like the MTV awards ! Plus Beyonce sang 3 theatrical songs at the Oscars even though she had nothing to do with their movies?
All for ratings and to get a younger crowd to watch. :rolleyes: Don't know if it's gonna be like that this year.Polk Rt800i -Fronts
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OnkyoFanatic wrote:... shots of half naked hot babysitters with huge **** who were ****...More later,
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Vox Copuli
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Old English Proverb
"Death doesn't come with a Uhaul." - Dennis Gardner
"It's easy to get lost in price vs performance vs ego vs illusion." - doro
"There is a certain entertainment value in ripping the occaisonal (sic) buttmunch..." - TroyD -
Yeah! Did you say rent it or pray to it?
George Grand (of the Jersey Grands) -
Rent first... pray as needed...More later,
Tour...
Vox Copuli
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Old English Proverb
"Death doesn't come with a Uhaul." - Dennis Gardner
"It's easy to get lost in price vs performance vs ego vs illusion." - doro
"There is a certain entertainment value in ripping the occaisonal (sic) buttmunch..." - TroyD -
begbie wrote:Anyone get annoyed when you saw so much exposure from popstars, rappers, hip hop artists that invaded the Oscars last year? As if you didn't see enough of them on your tv and magazine tabloids, music channels, clothing, I-pods, etc. It began to look like the MTV awards ! Plus Beyonce sang 3 theatrical songs at the Oscars even though she had nothing to do with their movies?
All for ratings and to get a younger crowd to watch. :rolleyes: Don't know if it's gonna be like that this year.
I can tell you what its gonna be like. Theyve got John Stewart hosting so you can expect a lot of hippy drivel about Bush being dumb, no blood for oil, Bush lied, Cheneys a crook and so on. Then Humpback Mountain will win all the awards.polkaudio sound quality competitor since 2005
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It's "Jon" Stuart...More later,
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Vox Copuli
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Old English Proverb
"Death doesn't come with a Uhaul." - Dennis Gardner
"It's easy to get lost in price vs performance vs ego vs illusion." - doro
"There is a certain entertainment value in ripping the occaisonal (sic) buttmunch..." - TroyD -
I didn't realize all those activities and ideas were hippie attributes. I didn't think hippies were capable of making lucid judgements like those, while being all grogged up and **** all the time. Live and learn
George Grand (of the Jersey Grands) -
George Grand wrote:I saw the original "13 Ghosts" in the theater when it came out, AND I was living on Glenmore Avenue in Central Islip when Ron DeFeo put his name in Newsday, so I guess I'M old enough for you to call..........Agamemnon. No wait, call me King Agamemnon. None of that is worth a hill of ****, but I WOULD like to know exactly what a "horror purist" is.
Please give me a good laugh.
George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)
Glenmore Avenue, huh? Not bad...I was friends with Joseph Yeswitt who was a buddy of Ron DeFeo and had spoken of him when we used to hang out in Croxley's Ale House in Rockville Centre where I resided before moving across the country; I feel that IS worth a hill of **** indeed...as for horror purist, I guess Im going to have ta dissapoint ya on getting a "good laugh" this afternoon; I don't think you'd get it if you need an explanation.
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Tour2ma wrote:Aw ****... now I'm going to have to rent the Amityville Horror remake...
Its probably the only worthwhile eye candy in the entire **** they called a film. The babysitter is pretty hot. But the scene is utterly inaccurate and irrelevant in the context of the story. -
George, you never cease to amaze me...More later,
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Vox Copuli
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Old English Proverb
"Death doesn't come with a Uhaul." - Dennis Gardner
"It's easy to get lost in price vs performance vs ego vs illusion." - doro
"There is a certain entertainment value in ripping the occaisonal (sic) buttmunch..." - TroyD -
Glenmore Ave is one street north of Suffolk Ave, with Islip Ave. (Rte 111) to the west, and Applegate Drive to the east. When I was there I knew and hung around with a couple guys named John Ferzola and Neal Scarbeck, neither of which have a damn thing to do with The Amityville Horror or Ron Defeo. I don't think either of those guys were "horror purists" either.
Please tell me what a "horror purist" is. Or I'm going to assume you either don't know what a "horror purist" is, or that maybe you made the term up, or you can't transmit what's in your brain, down to your fingers. I promise if you do that for me, I'll be able to transmit the definition I see, from my eyes, through the wiring, and into my brain. Promise. Honest ****. I'm good at it.