Canonical list of all the "laws" (like "Murphy's Law)famous and obscure.
ESavinon
Posts: 3,066
Agnes Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier
to get into than
out of.
Army Laws: If it moves, salute it. If it
doesn't move, pick it
up. If you can't pick it up, paint it.
Barth's Distinction: There are two types of
people: those who
divide people into two types, and those who
don't.
Bartz's Law of Hokey Horsepuckery: The more
ridiculous a belief
system, the higher the probability of its
success.
Baruch's Rule for Determining Old Age: Old
age is always fifteen
years older than I am.
Basic Law of Construction: Cut it large and
kick it into place.
Becker's Law: It is much harder to find a
job than to keep one.
Benchley's Law: Anyone can do any amount of
work, provided it
isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at
that moment.
Berra's Law: You can observe a lot just by
watching.
Bicycle Law: All bicycles weigh 50 pounds: A
30-pound bicycle
needs a 20-pound lock and chain. A 40-pound
bicycle needs a 10-
pound lock and chain. A 50-pound bicycle
needs no lock or chain.
Boling's Postulate: If you're feeling good,
don't worry. You'll
get over it.
Bombeck's Rule of Medicine: Never go to a
doctor whose office
plants have died.
Boren's Laws of the Bureaucracy: 1. When in
doubt, mumble. 2.
When in trouble, delegate. 3. When in
charge, ponder.
Borstelmann's Rule: If everything seems to
be coming your way,
you're probably in the wrong lane.
Bralek's Rule for Success: Trust only those
who stand to lose as
much as you do when things go wrong.
Brien's First Law: At some time in the life
cycle of virtually
every organization, its ability to succeed
in spite of itself
runs out.
Cannon's Comment: If you tell the boss you
were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the next
morning you will have a
flat tire.
Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the
people some of the
time, and some of the people all of the
time, but you can't fool
MOM.
Cardinal Conundrum: An optimist believes we
live in the best of
all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this
is true.
Character and Appearance Law: People don't
change; they only
become more so.
Clarke's Law of Revolutionary Ideas: Every
revolutionary idea --
in Science, Politics, Art or Whatever --
evokes three stages of
reaction. They may be summed up by the three
phrases: 1. "It is
completely impossible -- don't waste my
time." 2. "It is
possible, but it is not worth doing." 3. "I
said it was a good
idea all along."
Clarke's Third Law: Any sufficiently
advanced technology is
indistinguishable from magic.
Cleveland's Highway Law: Highways in the
worst need of repair
naturally have low traffic counts, which
results in low priority
for repair work.
Clyde's Law: If you have something to do,
and you put it off
long enough, chances are someone else will
do it for you.
Cohen's Law of Wisdom: Wisdom is considered
a sign of weakness
by the powerful because a wise man can lead
without power but
only a powerful man can lead without wisdom.
Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on
the planet is a
constant; the population is growing.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Colvard's Logical Premise: All probabilities
are 50%. Either a
thing will happen, or it won't.
Commoner's Three Laws of Ecology: 1. No
action is without side-
effects. 2. Nothing ever goes away. 3. There
is no free lunch.
Cooper's Law: All machines are amplifiers.
Dieter's Law: The food that tastes the best
has the highest
number of calories.
Displaced Hassle Principle: To beat the
bureaucracy, make your
problem their problem.
Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem
closely enough, you
will recognize yourself as part of the
problem.
Dykstra's Law: Everybody is somebody else's
weirdo.
Edelstein's Advice: Don't worry over what
other people are
thinking about you. They're too busy
worrying over what you are
thinking about them.
Ehrlich's Rule: The first rule of
intelligent tinkering is to
save all the parts.
Ettorre's Observation: The other line moves
faster. Corollary:
Don't try to change lines. The other line --
the one you were in
originally -- will then move faster.
Farber's Third Law: We're all going down the
same road in
different directions
Finagle's Laws of Information: 1. The
information you have is
not what you want. 2. The information you
want is not what you
need. 3. The information you need is not
what you can obtain. 4.
The information you can obtain costs more
than you want to pay.
Finnigan's Law: The farther away the future
is, the better it
looks.
to get into than
out of.
Army Laws: If it moves, salute it. If it
doesn't move, pick it
up. If you can't pick it up, paint it.
Barth's Distinction: There are two types of
people: those who
divide people into two types, and those who
don't.
Bartz's Law of Hokey Horsepuckery: The more
ridiculous a belief
system, the higher the probability of its
success.
Baruch's Rule for Determining Old Age: Old
age is always fifteen
years older than I am.
Basic Law of Construction: Cut it large and
kick it into place.
Becker's Law: It is much harder to find a
job than to keep one.
Benchley's Law: Anyone can do any amount of
work, provided it
isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at
that moment.
Berra's Law: You can observe a lot just by
watching.
Bicycle Law: All bicycles weigh 50 pounds: A
30-pound bicycle
needs a 20-pound lock and chain. A 40-pound
bicycle needs a 10-
pound lock and chain. A 50-pound bicycle
needs no lock or chain.
Boling's Postulate: If you're feeling good,
don't worry. You'll
get over it.
Bombeck's Rule of Medicine: Never go to a
doctor whose office
plants have died.
Boren's Laws of the Bureaucracy: 1. When in
doubt, mumble. 2.
When in trouble, delegate. 3. When in
charge, ponder.
Borstelmann's Rule: If everything seems to
be coming your way,
you're probably in the wrong lane.
Bralek's Rule for Success: Trust only those
who stand to lose as
much as you do when things go wrong.
Brien's First Law: At some time in the life
cycle of virtually
every organization, its ability to succeed
in spite of itself
runs out.
Cannon's Comment: If you tell the boss you
were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the next
morning you will have a
flat tire.
Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the
people some of the
time, and some of the people all of the
time, but you can't fool
MOM.
Cardinal Conundrum: An optimist believes we
live in the best of
all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this
is true.
Character and Appearance Law: People don't
change; they only
become more so.
Clarke's Law of Revolutionary Ideas: Every
revolutionary idea --
in Science, Politics, Art or Whatever --
evokes three stages of
reaction. They may be summed up by the three
phrases: 1. "It is
completely impossible -- don't waste my
time." 2. "It is
possible, but it is not worth doing." 3. "I
said it was a good
idea all along."
Clarke's Third Law: Any sufficiently
advanced technology is
indistinguishable from magic.
Cleveland's Highway Law: Highways in the
worst need of repair
naturally have low traffic counts, which
results in low priority
for repair work.
Clyde's Law: If you have something to do,
and you put it off
long enough, chances are someone else will
do it for you.
Cohen's Law of Wisdom: Wisdom is considered
a sign of weakness
by the powerful because a wise man can lead
without power but
only a powerful man can lead without wisdom.
Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on
the planet is a
constant; the population is growing.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Colvard's Logical Premise: All probabilities
are 50%. Either a
thing will happen, or it won't.
Commoner's Three Laws of Ecology: 1. No
action is without side-
effects. 2. Nothing ever goes away. 3. There
is no free lunch.
Cooper's Law: All machines are amplifiers.
Dieter's Law: The food that tastes the best
has the highest
number of calories.
Displaced Hassle Principle: To beat the
bureaucracy, make your
problem their problem.
Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem
closely enough, you
will recognize yourself as part of the
problem.
Dykstra's Law: Everybody is somebody else's
weirdo.
Edelstein's Advice: Don't worry over what
other people are
thinking about you. They're too busy
worrying over what you are
thinking about them.
Ehrlich's Rule: The first rule of
intelligent tinkering is to
save all the parts.
Ettorre's Observation: The other line moves
faster. Corollary:
Don't try to change lines. The other line --
the one you were in
originally -- will then move faster.
Farber's Third Law: We're all going down the
same road in
different directions
Finagle's Laws of Information: 1. The
information you have is
not what you want. 2. The information you
want is not what you
need. 3. The information you need is not
what you can obtain. 4.
The information you can obtain costs more
than you want to pay.
Finnigan's Law: The farther away the future
is, the better it
looks.
SRT For Life; SDA Forever!
The SRT SEISMIC System:
Four main satellite speakers, six powered subs, two dedicated for LFE channel, two center speakers for over/under screen placement and three Control Centers. Amaze your friends, terrorize your neighbors, seize the audio bragging rights for your state. Go ahead, buy it; you only go around once.
The SRT SEISMIC System:
Four main satellite speakers, six powered subs, two dedicated for LFE channel, two center speakers for over/under screen placement and three Control Centers. Amaze your friends, terrorize your neighbors, seize the audio bragging rights for your state. Go ahead, buy it; you only go around once.
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
Comments
-
Man, that's some funny stuff. I don't think I've ever heard of a single one of those! I'm definitely saving that!
In UseGeorge Grand wrote: »
PS3, Yamaha CDR-HD1300, Plex, Amazon Fire TV Gen 2
Pioneer Elite VSX-52, Parasound HCA-1000A
Klipsch RF-82ii, RC-62ii, RS-42ii, RW-10d
Epson 8700UB
In Storage
[Home Audio]
Rotel RCD-02, Yamaha KX-W900U, Sony ST-S500ES, Denon DP-7F
Pro-Ject Phono Box MKII, Parasound P/HP-850, ASL Wave 20 monoblocks
Klipsch RF-35, RB-51ii
[Car Audio]
Pioneer Premier DEH-P860MP, Memphis 16-MCA3004, Boston Acoustic RC520 -
Those are pretty good. Are there more? They appear to be alphabetical and stop in the F's. I am going to print these out for work.
-
^ X2audiobliss wrote:Man, that's some funny stuff. I don't think I've ever heard of a single one of those! I'm definitely saving that!
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