Places to retire
F1nut
Posts: 50,724
As we all know, when we hit retirement age we come face to face with the fact that it may be time to relocate. The big question is: where to? Here are some tips.
1. You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where.....
You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. :-)
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.
7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2 The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2... You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4 You think Central Park is "nature,"
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
You can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."y'all" is singular and "all y'alls" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from ' round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Carole Ann, etc.
You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2... You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating
4... The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never meet any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
AND You can live in Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people
1. You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where.....
You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. :-)
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.
7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2 The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2... You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4 You think Central Park is "nature,"
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
You can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."y'all" is singular and "all y'alls" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from ' round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Carole Ann, etc.
You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2... You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating
4... The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never meet any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
AND You can live in Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people
Political Correctness'.........defined
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
Comments
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That's a good un, don't y'all think? And I still say he jest needed killin'.
In UseGeorge Grand wrote: »
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the phoenix part is no joke!
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http://polkarmy.com/forums/index.phpbobman1235 wrote:I have no facts to back that up, but I never let facts get in the way of my arguments. -
Nice one Jesse. I needed a little laugh today.Michael
In the beginning, all knowledge was new!
NORTH of 60° -
all too true..
good one Jesse..Cary SLP-98L F1 DC Pre Amp (Jag Blue)
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:cool: -
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Mains.............Polk LSi15 (Cherry)
Center............Polk LSiC (Crossover upgraded)
Surrounds.......Polk LSi7 (Gloss Black - wood sides removed and crossovers upgraded)
Subwoofers.....SVS 25-31 CS+ and PC+ (both 20hz tune)
Pre\Pro...........NAD T163 (Modded with LM4562 opamps)
Amplifier.........Cinepro 3k6 (6-channel, 500wpc@4ohms) -
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You're so funny Jesse!
I bet you could be Noel's Hero of the Day!Check your lips at the door woman. Shake your hips like battleships. Yeah, all the white girls trip when I sing at Sunday service. -
Excellent!
Being a midwestern born, having lived in Phoenix for 3 years,
I can attest to all that!
First weekend out there and the soles of my shoes melted crossing the street.
Glad I'm back where I know where my coat is at -
I took my fiancee out to Arizona and New Mexico for a 10 day car trip to check out places to possibly live for her college graduation gift. We landed in Phoenix, in June, and it was 118 degrees. As soon as we got out of the airport a huge gust of wind hit us, and I could have swore we were in a damn blast furnace.
Needless to say, we decided not to move out there
Now, my parents have a house in Prescott Valley, AZ and it's absolutely gorgeous. 80s in the summer and 40-50 in the winter. 2 hours on the road and you're in Phoenix. Same goes for Flagstaff. Very pretty up there and pretty tolerable. -
Thanks Russ, but it's good enough knowing that I'm your hero.Political Correctness'.........defined
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk -
If it takes 2 hours to get from Prescott to Phoenix, retire somewhere like FL where people actually drive that slow......PLEASE!!!!!! (even though I don't live there any more, I have to do my part to keep the blue hairs away)comment comment comment comment. bitchy.
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"SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAURICE,
CAUSE I SPEAK OF THE POMPITIOUS OF LOVE" -
Quick post,, up early to go fishin, thre a bit'n,, going to the store to get crickets, worms, beer and a flick for the ol' lady,,hey big fish fry @ georges,tonite,, it's ,bring your own,bring your own,, ya'll come''ya hear,if'n you need drections,, just turn left at tha pecan tree,next to the racetrack,and follow that thar smell,,we also gonna have BEER hushpuppies to go with them brims. JC approves....he told me so. (F-1 nut) -
Sounds like my kinda' fun, George!
Your directions remind me of a business trip to Charles City, Iowa years ago. I was lost and, as much as men hate to admit that, I finally stopped at a service station to ask directions.
Me: "Excuse me, can you tell me where the White-Oliver plant is located?"
Attendant: "You're not from around these parts, are you?"
Me: "No sir, I'm not."
Attendant: (removing his hat and scratching his head) "Well, if you go down the road a piece thataway (pointing with hat) and turn right at the old Johnson place - they don't live there no more since Harold passed away - then go a fair piece to the old button factory - it ain't there no more, it burned down - and turn left, you'll see it on up the road about 10 minutes."
Me: "Thanks so much."
Attendant: "You're welcome mister. Come back and see us any time!"
I actually found the place by looking for an abandoned farm house, then the remains of a building - smiling all the way! -
Oh Jesse that was great!!!!
George: would you like to put that in ENGLISH so I know what you said?
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That's not true about Florida. We often eat dinner at 4PM. Sharp Elite 70
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Polk Atrium 7s on the patio just to keep my foot in the door. -
My wifes parents just moved from Florida to arizona for retirement.. all i hear is how the heat is different up there :rolleyes: Yeah hot and hotter
far as florida, I didn't get the eating at 3:15, we eat late around here it seems.. and the road construction is dead on, years and years in the making. MY HT RIG:
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kenwood grunt Tuner
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"6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is."
I might add to it: any direction in around Los Angeles' vicinity takes "about an hour driving" I am sorry, I have no opinion on the matter. I am sure you do. So, don't mind me, I just want to talk audio and pie. -
Here's a great place to retire. BTW, I didn't see it made fun of.
Oregon Coast ...... my property is just to the right of the yellow house.2 channel - Willsenton R8 tube integrated, Holo Audio Spring 3 KTE DAC, audio optimized NUC7i5, Windows 10 Pro/JRiver MC29/Fidelizer Plus 8.7 w/LPS and external SSD drive, PS Audio PerfectWave P3 regenerator, KEF R3 speakers, Rythmik F12SE subwoofer, Audioquest Diamond USB cable, Gabriel Gold IC's, Morrow Audio SP5 speaker cables. Computer - Windows 10/JRiver, Schiit Magni 3+/Modi 3+, Fostex PMO.4n monitors, Sennheiser HD600 headphones -
Asia (f.e. Thailand). South America (f.e. Brazil). I'm leaving TX for sure cause I ain't from 'round here, and I'm not y'all. I'm 34 so I still have good 6 years before retirement so things can change.F1nut wrote:As we all know, when we hit retirement age we come face to face with the fact that it may be time to relocate. The big question is: where to? Here are some tips. -
Nah, don't move to Arizona, it's a terrible, terrible place to live. You can own and carry a gun (how awful), you can hike/camp year-round (who needs that), you have to put up with seeing those damn beautiful mountains on any highway, across any stretch of the state (that's boring). Worst of all, is all this clean air and beautiful sunsets make me sick.
Yeah, you definitely don't wanna live here. Source: Bluesound Node 2i - Preamp/DAC: Benchmark DAC2 DX - Amp: Parasound Halo A21 - Speakers: MartinLogan Motion 60XTi - Shop Rig: Yamaha A-S501 Integrated - Shop Spkrs: Elac Debut 2.0 B5.2 -
just not phoenix. here in tucson i still wear shorts and a tanktop late at night.
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http://polkarmy.com/forums/index.phpbobman1235 wrote:I have no facts to back that up, but I never let facts get in the way of my arguments. -
steveinaz wrote:Nah, don't move to Arizona, it's a terrible, terrible place to live. You can own and carry a gun (how awful), you can hike/camp year-round (who needs that), you have to put up with seeing those damn beautiful mountains on any highway, across any stretch of the state (that's boring). Worst of all, is all this clean air and beautiful sunsets make me sick.
Yeah, you definitely don't wanna live here.
Sorry to hear you're stuck in such a **** of a place, bud
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Arizona is beautiful! Just make sure you don't pass out from heatstroke (Phoenix) or puke from altitude sickness (Flagstaff & Grand Canyon).
And do keep and eye out for cactus (will stick ya) Poisenous snakes (will bite ya) and all manner of lizards (which are just plain creepy)!
Other than that, Arizona is great!!! Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2 -
My in-laws moved to casa grande, don't know how that rates.. LOLMY HT RIG:
Sherwood p-965
Sherwood sd871 dvd
Rotel 1075 amp x5
LSI15 mains
LsiC center
LSIfx surround backs
Lsi7 side surrounds
SVS pb12/plus2
2 Channel Rig:
nad 1020 Pre-amp
Rotel 1080 stereo amp
Polk sda 2B
kenwood grunt Tuner
realistic lab 450 TT
Signal cable IC -
America's Top Retirement Places
1. Fort Collins-Loveland, Colo.
2. Charleston Sea Islands, S.C.
3. Henderson-Boulder City, NV
4. Wickenburg, Ariz.
5. St. George-Zion, Utah
6. Boca Raton, Fla.
7. Scottsdale, Ariz.
8. Tucson, Ariz.
9. Prescott-Prescott Valley, Ariz.
10. Fort Myers-Cape Coral, Fla.
Green & Clean
Boulder, Colo.
Bend, Ore.
Annapolis, MD
College Towns
Austin, Texas
Charlottesville, Va.
Columbia, Md.
Big Cities
Boston, Mass.
San Francisco, Calif.
Sarasota, Fla.
Small Towns
Asheville, N.C.
Ashland, Ore.
Silver City, N.M.
http://www.mythirdlife.com/top_retirement_places.htm
My entire family moved to Sarasota/Bradenton and love it. When I get my masters in May, I'm moving to Asheville, NC. As long as you watch out for the "so-so" crowd it's the perfect place to live. -
HEY! i'm number 8 on your list double a.
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http://polkarmy.com/forums/index.phpbobman1235 wrote:I have no facts to back that up, but I never let facts get in the way of my arguments. -
You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
1... In Maine we got Mustaud... so theah ha....what's Tabasco anyway?
2....In Maine we attach stuff to ouah paka's. We don't put the costumes ovah them. geesh.
3....Actually, my sisteh is makin Moose stew as a side dish for Thanksgivin (no joke). It's wicked good too.
4....At the Maine Mall we got that Victoria's secrets stoah. My wife of 25 ( marriage that is) yeahs looks mighty fine in that VS nighty and her knee highs. Them rabbit slippahs top it all off.
5....We have fast cahpentas heah. Gotta get it done befoah the tempecha drops loah than freezin.
Actually Maine is a wonderful place. really nice springs, falls, and summers. And Blizzards. They seem from up here to be the least destructive of the weathers in the country lately. We love the snow, It's part of what we grew up with as I'm sure all of you are in your areas. Oh, and Maine is not the land of Eskimo's we are not at the arctic circle. Took a weeks trip to Pheonix this summer...thought I was gonna die. -
BIZILL wrote:HEY! i'm number 8 on your list double a.
Arizona took 4 of the 10 spots. That's incredible. I've been to Arizona only once, but I was too young to remember it.
