Rules of the road ala So. Cal., aka the cell phone rules

dragon1952 · July 2005

Rule # 1 - The guy in the Hyundai or Kia talkin' on the cell phone rules over anyone else not talkin' on the cell phone no matter what they're driving.... Porsche, BMW, Mercedes, whatever because he obviously has a life and you don't. If you did you'd be on the freakin' cell phone yourself.

Rule # 2 - Anyone that doesn't use their turn signals rules over anyone who does. Why??? Because if you have a hand free to use your turn signals you obviously ain't talkin' on the cell phone hence you obviously ain't got a life.

Rule # 3 - If you take the commuter bus or train to work you gotta talk on the cell phone the whole way or you're a nobody. Why??? Cause the fact you're seen in public without a car is bad enough so you at least have to prove that you've got a life. If you're riding public transportation and not talkin' on the cell phone you obviously don't have a car OR a life.

Rule # 4 - If you're walkin' down the street by yourself you best be on the cell phone because not only do you obviously not have a friend to walk with you've obviously not got a car either so you at least have to prove that you've got some kind of life.

Rule # 5 - Never mute your cell phone. If you mute it other people won't hear it ring hence they might not know you even have one. Leave the ringer on and as an extra precaution turn it up all the way. If it rings make sure to let it ring as long as possible so more people will be able to identify that it's you. Then make sure to speak up loud and clear so they'll be doubly sure to know who the hotshot is.

Follow these simple rules if you ever visit So. Cal. and you'll be sure not to be taken as a loser. :rolleyes:

O yeah....I forgot one.
RULE # 6 - If you're driving and there's no one to talk to make sure to just hold the cell phone up to your ear and mouth some words occassionally so people will think you're cool. :cool:

TroyD · July 2005

available from www.youdrivelikeanidiot.com

Order now, order often!

dragon1952 · July 2005

Thank you very much birthday boy! How do they say it in Texas? Bo-ay! Birthday bo-ay!
You're obviously my kinda guy....even though you're from Texas and happen to look like Bum Phillips

Whoa....better cut myself off of the vodka martinis for the night!

TroyD · July 2005

Tejas??

'fraid not, cochise. South Carolina by way of Maine....

Glad you like the bumper sticker....go to that website and order up a few for you and all your friends!

BDT

RuSsMaN · July 2005

****, I talk on the cell (no earpiece), drink 44oz cups of tea (the big ones, that cover your ENTIRE face when you drink out of them), smoke cigarettes, and my truck is a stick shift - all at the same time. I MAY be caught with a burrito unwrapped sitting on the passenger seat on any given day too.

Eat me.

Edit - Troy doesn't look like Bum Phillips, though he may have given him a run for the money on the scale. Colin Powell is a more accurate comparison.

RuSsMaN · July 2005

Tell me I'm full of ****. G'head.

TroyD · July 2005

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

dragon1952 · July 2005

Originally posted by RuSsMaN
****, I talk on the cell (no earpiece), drink 44oz cups of tea (the big ones, that cover your ENTIRE face when you drink out of them), smoke cigarettes, and my truck is a stick shift - all at the same time. I MAY be caught with a burrito unwrapped sitting on the passenger seat on any given day too.
Eat me.

How bout turn signals? They use them down around them parts?
BTW, I doubt if you'd find an iced tea anywhere within about 1000 miles of here :rolleyes:

dragon1952 · July 2005

Originally posted by RuSsMaN
Edit - Troy doesn't look like Bum Phillips, though he may have given him a run for the money on the scale. Colin Powell is a more accurate comparison.

Oh my!!!! The resemblance is astonishing! :eek: Somebody better start checkin' the ole woodpile!

dragon1952 · July 2005

Originally posted by TroyD
Tejas??

'fraid not, cochise. South Carolina by way of Maine....
BDT

Sorry....I musta had you confused with that other 'T' fellar .... the one that is from Tejas

Ron-P · July 2005

Dragon, where is SoCal are ya?

dragon1952 · July 2005

Escondildo......I commute to downtown San Diego every day hence my qualifications to provide these important rules of the road

Ron-P · July 2005

Oh, I hear ya. I live in HB and commute to Temecula everyday. A nice 130+ mile round trip.

dragon1952 · July 2005

HB as in Huntington Beach :eek: Holy ****!
My commutes only around 80 mi round trip, about 1hr 20 min each way.

ND13 · July 2005

Originally posted by dragon1952
HB as in Huntington Beach :eek: Holy ****!
My commutes only around 80 mi round trip, about 1hr 20 min each way.

40 miles in 80 minutes, God I'm glad I don't live there. My commute is 45 miles one way and even with road construction it takes me 35-45 minutes.

Ron-P · July 2005

Yep, Huntington Beach.

It's not too bad a drive. In the morning I take the freeways, about 65 miles in less then 1 hour. The evening drive home I take Ortega Hwy which is a nice relaxing drive but takes about and hour and a half. Plus, company Tahoe and gas card so it's a free drive other then the time behind the wheel.

dragon1952 · July 2005

Originally posted by ND13
40 miles in 80 minutes, God I'm glad I don't live there. My commute is 45 miles one way and even with road construction it takes me 35-45 minutes.

Yep.....and that's on a good day :rolleyes:
I plan on retiring in the next 2 yrs and after that I'm outta here to a place in Oregon on the ocean with a population of around 2000, which is less people than I fight with each day just on the freeway onramp.....one way!

dragon1952 · July 2005

Originally posted by Ron-P
Yep, Huntington Beach.

It's not too bad a drive. In the morning I take the freeways, about 65 miles in less then 1 hour. The evening drive home I take Ortega Hwy which is a nice relaxing drive but takes about and hour and a half. Plus, company Tahoe and gas card so it's a free drive other then the time behind the wheel.

Sounds like you could grab a six pack on the way home and kick back! Only problem is finding a place to pee

kingtut · July 2005

Originally posted by dragon1952
...I plan on retiring in the next 2 yrs and after that I'm outta here to a place in Oregon on the ocean with a population of around 2000, which is less people than I fight with each day just on the freeway onramp.....one way!

Dragon, are you going to leave Sunny San Diego for the "rainy" Oregon? (giving up the traffics and high cost of living for a nice, lower cost and more peaceful coastal living?)

dragon1952 · July 2005

That's a roger, your highness!

I hate this freakin' place !

Ron-P · July 2005

Rainy is an understatement. I visited there not but a couple years ago, for a week. I was done after that. Where is the F'en sun!? Not to bag on the place but for me I could not handle it, one week was 6 days too much.

Oh and finding a place to pee Dragon, there's always the empty paper cup in the car. No need to even stop.

dragon1952 · July 2005

Yeah, the problem with the paper cup is that I always get the stream going full blast and then start freaking as the cup fillls up and it's obvious it ain't gonna be big enough.

I've also peed through the top of an empty 12 oz beer bottle and had to switch mid-stream to another one. You end up with piss all over the place. :rolleyes:

brettw22 · July 2005

Pissing in cups? People actually still do that? lol......scared of y'all.

Rules of the road ala So. Cal., aka the cell phone rules

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