Never Ending Story

reeltrouble1

the last of the Rolling Rock, he looked up at me smiled and let out one of the loudest, expungigating, **** clearing sounds you can imagine. I was immediately smacked in the face, as I fell to the floor I noticed the boiled eqq shells laying cracked and empty next to him.

I awoke several hours later to an eerie silence, the house was totally empty. I noticed .........................

ND13

Can someone get me the Cliff's notes on this when ya'll are done:eek:.

gmorris

Originally posted by reeltrouble1
the last of the Rolling Rock, he looked up at me smiled and let out one of the loudest, expungigating, **** clearing sounds you can imagine. I was immediately smacked in the face, as I fell to the floor I noticed the boiled eqq shells laying cracked and empty next to him.

I awoke several hours later to an eerie silence, the house was totally empty. I noticed .........................

.... it was time to rearrange my sock drawer. So I headed over to the den and opened the bottom desk drawer. I decided to alphabatize the socks this time. After realizing this would be more difficult than I originally anticipated, I decided numerically is clearly the more solid solution. So out comes the abacuss and the calculations began. 12 minutes later, I had my socks organized numerically, and a new Excel spreadsheet to catalog it all.

I then heard the spider monkey calling from the bathroom. It seems he is out of toilet paper, which is ironic, because spider monkey commonly use paper towels. "Silly monkey", I thought, and proceeded outside to gather up more TP. On my way thru the now doorless front door, I was greated on the front lawn by non other than.......

SCompRacer

Originally posted by gmorris
On my way thru the now doorless front door, I was greated on the front lawn by non other than.......

...the local Sheriff who had a court summons in his hand. Seems Mr. Top was suing me for striking him in the face. The Sheriff also mentioned something about a US government offcial missing and wondered if I had seen him. I told the Sheriff I saw an offical looking man heading off in a minivan with a bunch of girl scouts and pointed in the general direction with my third hand.

The lawman left as I continued to gather TP for the monkey and decided to check on my corn crop. Thats odd, I thought as I looked down. That wasn't corn coming up out of the ground, it was.......

danger boy

Originally posted by SCompRacer
...the local Sheriff who had a court summons in his hand. Seems Mr. Top was suing me for striking him in the face. The Sheriff also mentioned something about a US government offcial missing and wondered if I had seen him. I told the Sheriff I saw an offical looking man heading off in a minivan with a bunch of girl scouts and pointed in the general direction with my third hand.

The lawman left as I continued to gather TP for the monkey and decided to check on my corn crop. Thats odd, I thought as I looked down. That wasn't corn coming up out of the ground, it was.......

BC bud. Upon trying some out I realized I could see in the distance a small.....

VR3

man (with an oddly large noggin) named Russman who...

swerve

began to sing an Usher tune that went like this:

"u got, u got it bad
when you're on the phone
hang up and you call right back
u got, u got it bad
if you miss a day without your friend
your whole life's off track
you know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
you dont wonna have fun
its all you think about
u got it bad when you're out with someone
but you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else
U GOT IT BAD!!.... "


then suddenly....

gmorris

....I shoved my hands into my back pockets and ran as fast as I could into the tree to punish myself for singing an Usher song. After I got back up, I ran into the tree again, just for good measure....

SCompRacer

Originally posted by gmorris
....I shoved my hands into my back pockets and ran as fast as I could into the tree to punish myself for singing an Usher song. After I got back up, I ran into the tree again, just for good measure....

......besides, it's best to avoid close proximity to someone who's been exposed to nuclear fuel rods. Best get my money for this tube pre amp and be on my way. While Dick was digging up his cash box from the back yard......

swerve

He found the remains of 2pac and Biggie Smalls along with hundreds of unreleased tracks. Not knowing what he had found he threw them in the dumpster out back...





P.S. post 1337 (leet)

gmorris

Originally posted by swerve
He found the remains of 2pac and Biggie Smalls along with hundreds of unreleased tracks. Not knowing what he had found he threw them in the dumpster out back...

....which is where they belong..........

reeltrouble1

and so ends this saga

until................................................
















next time:D

RT1

Polkersince85

It seemed odd as I reached down to pet my cat in the usual head to tail rub of which he was so fond. The lantanas beside the fence were still blooming. It's late November and December starts next week. I thought to myself that stranger things have happened.

Suddenly Sir Charleston grew to twice his size as cats will do when frightened. I looked up between the flowers and saw the figure of a man walking towards us in a frenzied circular motion. His manner of walking caused the flower blooms to join the vortex swirling over his head. I stood up and noticed that he was carrying a ......

hearingimpared

A brave and noble ITALIAN Cavalier roams the hills of PENNSYLVANIA. He is known to be a brave, humble, honest, compassionate, gallant soul who loves life and cherishes all of “Life’s” offerings. This was not always the case . . .

Long ago in the land known as the South of PHILADELPHIA a young lad was born. He was the first born in a family of four children. The lad was very innocent and pure of heart. One day while roaming the streets the lad came across a large, fair, honest but ominous Black Knight; the Black Knight’s name was “Life”. The young lad was intrigued. He approached the Black Knight with caution and felt a slight sense of dread. He noticed that the Black Knight was smiling at him although, he actually could not see the Black Knight’s face. The Knight named Life looked down from his shining black steed and in a resounding voice asked, “Why do you smile at me!, do you know who I am?” The young lad quaked in his very shoes, but he stood fast and replied, I know you not Black Knight but I feel as though we are one. The Black Knight smiled at the lad and felt great love for this young, brave child who had the fortitude to stand and speak his heart.

Alas, the knight was smitten with this bold innocent youngster. The lad immediately felt great love, respect, and admiration for this tall, powerful entity. But he also felt a sense of dread, which he did not understand.

The Black Knight took the lad under his wing and made him his squire and page. He loved the lad so much he had decided to make this young child his protégé’.

Many years past. The lad was now a young man feeling the change of life due to the advent of hormones. By this time he had become very talented in the arts and ways of Knightdom. The knight named “Life” went to great pains to train the young man. He preached honour, trust, loyalty, wisdom, respect for life, as well as the art of defending the helpless and weak.

The Black Knight left the young man for some time. The young squire felt fear without the companionship and tutoring of his beloved Black Knight. During this time the young man explored the streets of the South of Philly. He found that many a young man did things that the Black Knight warned against. However, these other men seemed to be enjoying their lives, although they seemed to be scoundrels, rascals, brigeons. But they had the attention of many fair maidens, the adoration of their peers, the respect of their enemies. The young man befriended these freebooters. Now, this lad was a very shy and humble soul who was still in a very impressionable stage. He overcame his timidness by overcompensation. At the same time he began to grow large and strong. He suddenly found that many fair maidens vied for his attentions. He also found that he could intimidate and crush his foes. This seemed to bring the maidens and other young men to his beck and call. He also found that he could always make himself feel good by putting various forbidden (by the Black Knight) poisons into his own bloodstream and these same poisons gave him courage and more power over the maidens and men who began to adore him. He began to feel the power and weald it without abandon.

Greed, lust, jealousy, insincerity, betrayal, egotism, anger and mistrust became part of him. He began to feel that he was the greatest of all Knights and Nobles. Pillaging, infidelity, piracy, became his motto. He began to care not about the feelings or virtue of the fair maidens of his world. Nor did he care about anyone but himself. Even his most loyal followers were at risk of feeling his irrational wrath. He became a demigod or rather the “father of all gods” in his own mind. Money and stature and power were his goal. He dubbed himself the “King of Peacocks”, the “Pope of his cruel world”, all the time thinking that this is what the old foolish Black Knight was teaching him all along. Truly he betrayed the Black Knight. He proclaimed himself greater than the Black Knight. Time after time this scoundrel, this brawler, this irreverent buccaneer, braggard, egomaniac, cursed and betrayed the Black Knight by cursing him publicly and pronouncing the Black Knight a coward and a fool.

There came a time when a very fair maiden came to the now tyrannical kingdom. The lass was vied after for her beauty and virtues by all the nobles and knights of this Despot’s realm. He, however, only knew that she was what all the men of the era desired. To prove to himself that he was greater and more charming than the rest of her suitors, he lured her with his charm and good looks and smile. She became his to do with as he wished. She begat him a son. Newly sire to a prince he still however was a scoundrel, a brawler, a braggard and a manipulator. He had great status and worldly possessions even as the appetite for the forbidden poisons consumed his thinking. But he was miserable and very unhappy. He couldn’t understand how the great Black Knight named “Life” could have left him. He blamed the Black Knight for his misery and disgust with everything and everyone around him.

His behavior became even more erratic and full of ego and sins. He felt no compassion or honor or bravery. He only cared about what the world he owned could do for him. He hurt everyone who knew and loved him.

One day while standing on the rampart of his castle, a rider approached. The scoundrel. . . that egotistical bully looked on as a worn and weathered rider approached. When the rider arrived at the foot of the castle the buccaneer recognized the rider. It was the Black Knight returning from his long absence. The rascal called to the rider. “Why do you smile at me!”, although he never could see the Black Knights face. The Black Knight replied, “I have returned to see my beloved page whom I spent many years teaching the meaning!”. “The meaning of what!”, ranted the brute. You left me and now I have all the power in this world. Do you think by your mere presence that I will relinquish all that I have earned. The Black Knight was silent. “Well, what is it you want here!?” The rider answered him not. The angry pirate spat at the Black Knight and said, “you will respond or I shall put you to death by my own hand!”.

The Black Knight was saddened. He could not believe that this was the same boy whom he tutored and loved and who adored him so. The ungrateful egotist raced toward the rider and demanded he dismount his steed. The Black Knight obliged. The young fool now towered over his mentor. He taunted and mocked him. The Black Knight did not reply. Alas, the young fool became enraged and struck the rider with his gauntlet. The Black Knight stood and remained unshaken. The foolish egotist struck again screaming “To the death!”...The Black Knight simply walked to his steed mounted him and began to unsheathed his sword. The scoundrel struck before the Knight’s sword was exposed.

Hours past. The battle roared on and on through the night. Finally at dawn the weather beaten Black Knight struck the briggand with a mighty blow that laid him prostrate. The coward on the ground begged for his life. The Black Knight then stripped him of his armour and said, “begone you fool!”. “You shall have no peace until you peer into a looking glass and see thyself!”.

The broken young man wept. For the first time in years he realized that he had betrayed the Black Knight but most of all himself. But this made the young man all the more angry.

He wandered aimlessly for years. No one would look at him. No one would acknowledge his existence. He was truly humiliated and felt a total sense of loss.
He somehow managed to survive . . . barely. One day he looked in a mirror and saw the Black Knight standing behind him. When he turned to greet him, the Knight was gone. The young man wept. He began to realize that the Black Knight had not deserted him nor did he betray him. It was he, who turned his back on the beloved entity whom he loved and adored as a boy. He found himself smiling again. He began to feel confident again but the poisons had taken their toll. He was ill and overcome with despair.

One night the Black Knight came to the young man’s humble abode. The young man fell to his knees and said, “My Lord!”, I have sinned against all whom loved and trusted me. “How do I repent?” “And why my lord did you leave me at such a tender impressionable age.” At which time the broken squire collapsed.

The Black Knight looked through teary eyes at his beloved protege’ and now wise Cavalier. During this time the Black Knight nursed his young protege’ back to health. After the lad had regained his strength, the Black Knight exclaimed, “It was I who kept you alive throughout your madness.” “It was I who never left your side. It is however you who has learned the hard way that ‘Life’ is what you make of it.” I always have and always will be your friend, sometimes your only friend. So my dear son go out in the world and be a man. Be true to yourself and others. Never forget that the world is NOT your oyster. It is however, a place where you can be you and love and care and be loyal to others as well as yourself. This why I have allowed you to experience the horrors of this world and of yourself. This is why you are now a true and noble knight. This is what I promise you... “Prosperity, Love and the true knowledge of who and what you are . . .”

Let no man or woman lead you astray again. Be yourself and the world will come to thee.


A true cavalier...
TO BE CONTINUED