soundtracks are killing me

Micah Cohen

Yep, I'm back, bay-bee. And I have a thing or two to say.

First of all, I just watched this movie, IN GOOD COMPANY, with that guy from "The 70s Show" and Scarlett Johansson. Aside from the fact that this movie sucked, that the director botched every opportunity to show the beautiful Ms Johansson ("Scar" to her friends) in her best light, and that this "70s Show" guy will hopefully have a very short film career, I must say that this was the second movie in the last short while that has completely turned me off... With its soundtrack.

The soundtrack to this movie is kick-out-the-jam-packed with this whiney, new agey, retro guitar-singer David Gray-type GARBAGE. Seems to be really deep and thoughtful, emotional even, but in reality is nonsensical.

F'rinstance: "Iron & Wine" is the name of one of the "artists" on the soundtrack. This is, I guess, a better name for a musical group than, say, "System Of A Down." What the EFF is a system of a down? Anyone know? If not, if you do not know what their name MEANS, then you should not be listening to this music; it's a put-on, and they are making money off you and you don't even realize it. Anyway, Iron & Wine, right? Here's a lyric snippet. Imagine it sung in a plaintive, whiney, white guy with no soul voice: "There are names across the sea, only now I do believe..."

Huh? Here's another snippet of genius: "I'll keep stealing, breathing her..." Huh?

So, the director of IN GOOD COMPANY thinks he's keen and hip, and plays these boring, anti-soulful songs, with these nonsensical nothing stream-of-unconsciousness lyrics, in moments of the film when the actors looks pensive and thoughtful. We viewers are supposed to think, "Hmmm, let me pay attention to this sensitively sung song and I will get some insight into what the characters are thinking and feeling." And then you strain to get these lyrics... "The juniper bends, as if you were listening..." (All lyrics, by the way, are copyrighted by Iron & Wine, in case you were feeling like stealing them, yo.)

The lyrics have nothing at all to do with the film's images. At all. In fact, they have nothing to do with anything approximating good music.

Let's switch gears now, hang on, and discuss another recent movie whose soundtrack utterly bored me and made me dispair for today's musically inclined sensitive teens: GARDEN STATE.

The Cary Brothers. They have a song called "Blue Eyes" on the GARDEN STATE soundtrack. I choose it, out of a selection of boring, unmusical, whiney, soul-less so-called music on this soundtrack, because it features the incredible lyrics: "Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand, I can help you to stand..."

This songwriting genius uses the word "fess" in his lyrics

How bad is this supposedly hipster-approved music? It's SO BAD that halfway thru the effing GARDEN STATE movie, when the soundtrack suddenly shouts out, showing its GRADUATE, with some Simon & Garfunkel, you think, "WHOA! Simon and Garfunkel are GENIUSES! They are GREAT!" That's how BAD the music is in this movie. So bad, that Simon & Garfunkel sound good. And make no mistake: Simon & Garfunkel suck. They have tricked us in the past, but no more. I don't care that I weep when I listen to "Rhythm Of The Saints," Paul Simon's music is crappy, boring, Beatles retread. But it's frigging amazing compared to the other crapola on this soundtrack -- Nick Drake, Bonnie Sommerville, Remy Zero... Who the hell are these soulless freaks?!

If you are reading this and you are about 15 years old, you may still have a chance. Never ever listen to anything by these so-called musical artists. Eschew "Nick Drake." Avoid "Iron & Wine." Shun "The Cary Brothers." Abstain from "Colin Hay." Do not watch the movies that all your friends are watching, thinking that they are hip for their next-day-in-class discussions about the finer points of GARDEN STATE and IN GOOD COMPANY. There are no finer points. Don't be conned by hipsters.

I have two words for you: LED ZEPPELIN.

What kind of word is "fess"?!

MC

TroyD

Haven't seen either movie...and here is why. Name me THREE decent movies that have been made in the past THREE years.

Can anyone think of any?

Same thing with contemporary music. Black eyed peas? Whatever.

BDT

RuSsMaN

I stopped paying attention to Soundtracks, when on some recent, Lindsay Lohan (I love her, I WANT her. I mean REALLY NEED her) drivel or some such, they referred to little Miss Britney's 'Hit me baby one more time' as an oldie.

Freaky Friday was the flick, come to think of it. Yeah, I do Curtis too, but I'd like to roll back time to the True Lies Jamie Lee.

If it's not on London FFR, Mercury Living Presence, RCA Living Stereo, Abbey, or Verve - or has the Doors 'The End' on it - I'm not interested.

Actually, the best mix of composed and period music in one shot - Kubrick baby. FMJ.

Cheers,
Russ

"If I were a rich man,

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.

If I were a wealthy man."

Micah Cohen

I gotcher three, and then some. Who you think you're dealing with, some piker?

[1] SOLARIS (2002), ready for this: The best sci-fi film since BLADE RUNNER.

Speaking of George Clooney, he directed [2] CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND, in which Sam Rockwell does a killer Chuck Barris; great flick!

Then there's movies I know we've discussed: [3] SHAUN OF THE DEAD (2005) and [4] BUBBA HO-TEP (2002), both hysterical, both original and both worth seeing.

FOUR!

Troy, what's the deal man. 5000+ posts? Don't you have a hobby or something?

MC

Micah Cohen

And some smarty better answer me: What the heck is a system of a down?

I expect an answer to this question. Soon.

Don't make me start another thread.

MC

[insert signature here]

RuSsMaN

Alcaeda Speed Metal

TroyD

Okay, lemme re-phrase...mainstream films. COADM, I'll give you that one.

For example, the Aviator? Puh-leeze. I gave that DVD the Russ Gates swipe when I returned it.

System of a Down? No idea, we rehashed this a couple years ago, no?

BDT

Micah Cohen

Huh?

What is "mainstream"?

What is "Alcaeda"?

Why am I so out of the loop on this stuff?

Did I mention I have a killer tan and it isn't even summer yet?

MC

[I can't keep this up]

RuSsMaN

The effers over THERE. The guys wrapped in bed sheets that jump up and down with AK 47's shouting 'LU LU LU LU LU'

All hobbits tan early, that's a given.

TroyD

I'm talking movies that you can go see at the local cineplex....

Eh, I got nothin'

BDT

Micah Cohen

Oh.

Arab metal band?

Huh.

They really suck, you know. They are like anti-music. Impossible to listen to. Does anyone like them, I mean aside from deranged and mentally deficient teenagers, who don't know anything about music anyway?

Who likes this stuff? And why?

And what the heck is a system of a down? You're not answering me.

MC

:mad:

Micah Cohen

Ah, I got one. THE LIFE AQUATIC.

Sure, Wes Anderson really blew his creative wad way back in the 90s with BOTTLE ROCKET. That's really all you need.

But Bill Murray in this new movie is superb, and the soundtrack is all David Bowie songs... sung in Portuegese by a guy with just a guitar. It's frigging great!

BOWIE!

MC

TroyD

If you like Bowie, check out Peter Murphy.

BDT

reeltrouble1

Originally posted by Micah Cohen
And some smarty better answer me: What the heck is a system of a down?

I expect an answer to this question. Soon.

Don't make me start another thread.

MC

[insert signature here]

Well it can be many things, but mostly its just the opposite of a system of a up.

Have a nice night.

RT1

Micah Cohen

the opposite of a system of a up.

That's good. Get this guy a fish.

check out Peter Murphy

Why? Bowie is good enough for me. Why do I need anything else?

:mad:

I love that little guy!

MC

RuSsMaN

System of a Down is 14 year old, white male America angst, produced on the medium of compact disc for your listening displeasure.

I *think* some of their stuff has a political message, but who cares as long as angry 14 year old boys are buying it and staying pissed off. You know the type, deep down they have a 'thing' for mommy, and want to kill daddy. That whole Edipus/Freud thing?

At least Rage Against the Machine could jam, whilst relaying their political propaganda, even if most never got 'it'.

Cheers,
Russ

[insert fitting 'Bulls on Parade' lyric snipit here]

TroyD

Okay, but here's the thing though...how much 'angst' can a suburban teen REALLY have? They don't get cell coverage at thier locker?


Oh, and Peter Murphy rules. Bowie is good, Peter is better.

BDT

Micah Cohen

Whoa man, someone is "better" than Bowie? How come that guy is not famous or anything? (Because, he's NOT better than Bowie, really.)

who cares as long as angry 14 year old boys are buying it and staying pissed off

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for there to be a new military draft. These kids'll all get sucked up into the machine, and it'll thin the herd some!

That's my morning thought. Now I need some coffee.

Where are the smart folks hanging on this forum these days?

MC

PolkThug

Originally posted by Micah Cohen

And what the heck is a system of a down? You're not answering me.

MC

:mad:

I don't think the band even knows:

You said it yourself -- people have a love/hate relationship with System. So if they get it they love you and if they don’t then you get misconceptions.

"It's just hilarious. They pigeonhole us as a political band, yet we sing about everything, like from suicide to **** love to politics to drugs. We sing about everything. We don't limit our issues and we don't limit our music. That's the problem I get when people come up to us and talk to us about being a political band. People ask me what does “System of a Down” mean? Everyone wants everything written down for them. It's like, “What does it mean for you?” You figure it out. “What is that song about?” The lyrics are pretty abstract -- you make your own thing of it. "

Micah Cohen

Note to all "system of a down" fans:

SUCKERS!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thank god I don't buy into any of this CRAP.

You know, if they didn't SUCK HARD then maybe they could get away with this kind of pomposity. But, unfortunately for them, they just can't.

Take away their fame. :mad:

MC