Friday Joke Thread

Frank Z

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one
day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." "Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide
open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder." The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning."

MacLeod

A man goes into a bar and sees a woman sitting on a stool crying. He walks up to her and sits down beside her and asks,"whats wrong?"

"Im crying because my husband left me."

"Why did he leave you?"

"I cant tell you, its too embarassing."

"C'mon, we're in a bar and getting things out in the open. You can tell me."

"Well, ok. He left me because he thinks Im too kinky."

"Really?! My wife left me because I am too kinky!!"

Well the two sit there and hit it off and eventually decide to go home and get it on. They go to her house and she excuses herself to get ready. About 15 minutes later, she comes back all decked out in leather and chains but he is leaving.

"Whats wrong? What are you doing?"

"Im leaving."

"Why? I thought you said you were kinky!"

"Right. I just **** in your purse and **** your dog, Im outta here!"