Thanks alot!! You ***holes!!

Frank Z
Frank Z Posts: 5,860
edited March 2024 in Clubhouse Archives
I want to thank all of you!

To all my friends and family, Thank you for making me safe, secure,
blessed, and wealthy by sending me your damn chain letters over the
last year.

Because of your concern:

* I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

* I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

* I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from
the rat **** and urine.

* I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

* I no longer go to movies because I could sit on a needle infected with
AIDS

* I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could get
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

* I no longer want to pump my own gas - where I will either get AIDS or
cause an explosion by cell phone or static.

* I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a
wet dog on a hot day.

* I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
Al Qaida in disguise.

* I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
American troops.

* I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls
to
Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

* I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogens they contain
will turn me ****.

* I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

* I no longer look at the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys
and leave me taking a nap in a bath tub full of ice.

* I no longer have a cell phone because I don't want brain cancer.

* I no longer have any sneakers because I would hate to see all those
poor kids in the sweat shops overseas suffering because I wanted a pair
of Nike shoes.

* I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have
their recipe.

* I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me.

* I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl about to
die in the hospital for the 1,000,000,000th time.

* I no longer have any money but that will change once I receive the
$18,624 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me since I participated in
their special e-mail program.

I want to thank all of you so-o-o-o-o much for looking out for me!!

Now if you DON'T send this e-mail! to at least 12,000,000 of your closest
friends in the next 60 seconds a large bird with diarrhea will fly right
over
your head at exactly 5:00 pm tomorrow!!!



HURRY!!



:D
9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
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Comments

  • Davidv
    Davidv Posts: 94
    edited April 2005
    WAAAAAAAAA!!! That is great! I just had to send that out to a few people. Thanks for the laugh!!!
    Beer on tap is great, until the keg runs dry and the liqour store is closed!:D

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  • audiobliss
    audiobliss Posts: 12,518
    edited April 2005
    *confused look*

    wait......you mean.......he's not serious?....Oh! Thank goodness, cause I don't know twelve, uhh......twelve, uhh.......well, how ever many people that is......
    George Grand wrote: »
    Jstas wrote: »
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
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  • michael_w
    michael_w Posts: 2,813
    edited April 2005
    wow... just a little bored to write all that? heheh

    has anyone tried that cookie recepie? I thought about tryin it but it required stuff we didn't have at the time and I was too hungy to bother to get the stuff I needed. :p
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  • Frank Z
    Frank Z Posts: 5,860
    edited April 2005
    I'd love to take credit for this little tantrum but I found it elsewhere and thought you folks would get a chuckle or two out of it.
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
    2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
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  • Frank Z
    Frank Z Posts: 5,860
    edited April 2005
    ....And don't get me started on dick-cream emails!! How in hell did the whole world find out about my short-comings?!?!
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
    2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
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  • Roy Munson
    Roy Munson Posts: 886
    edited April 2005
    I'm still waiting for my check from Microsoft! LOL
    2 Channel:
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  • Roy Munson
    Roy Munson Posts: 886
    edited April 2005
    Originally posted by Frank Z
    ....And don't get me started on dick-cream emails!! How in hell did the whole world find out about my short-comings?!?!

    Worked for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    2 Channel:
    Amp/Parasound Halo A23
    Pre/Carver C-1
    Tuner/Carver TX-11a
    CDP/Jolida JD 100A
    Turntable/AR XB-Shure V15 III
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