Bubba

HBombToo

Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles (Citgo)
refinery. A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having
the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions.
The manager went to Bubba and said: "Thank you for your interest, but
we've decided to give the Yankee the job."

Bubba asked: "And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine
questions correct. This being Louisiana, and me being a Southern boy I
should get the job!"

The manager said: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers,
but rather on the one question that you both missed."

Bubba then asked: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better
than the other?"

The manager replied: "Bubba, its like this. On question #4 the Yankee
wrote; "I don't know." You wrote, "Neither do I."

exalted512

lmao

Toxis

F1nut

polkatese

The tough old Kansas cowboy counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103.

When he died, he left 14 children 30 grandchildren 45 great grandchildren 25 great-great grand children and a 15 foot deep hole where the crematorium used to be.

MacLeod

An Alabama redneck buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc.... After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls a vet for help.

The vet tells the redneck that he should try artificial insemination. The redneck doesnt have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead, lay down & wallow in the mud when they are pregnant. The redneck hangs up & gives this some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the pigs.

So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back & goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes & looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didnt take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up & drives them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the mud.

No, she says, theyre all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn.

Bada bing!

MacLeod

And for my next act.......


Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.
Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over.

The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, Nope, aint Bubba.

The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, Yup, hes pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, No, it aint Bubba.

The mortician asked, How can you tell?

Gomer said, Well, Bubba had two ****.

What? He had two ****? said the mortician.

Yup, everyone knew he had two ****. Every time we went to town, folks would say, Here comes Bubba with them two ****.

masanz1

Some grandparents decided to take on golfing in their retirement. To learn the sport they went off to take some lessons. The golf instructor told the couple that they would learn better if they practice apart and he would work with them individually. He went to the man and watch him swing and the ball kept hooking really bad. He told the old guy that he was gripping too tight and to loosen his grip. After a couple of swings he still was doing the same thing. The instructor thought for a second and figured what to say, he ask the old man to remember back when he first met his wife and when they first made love, he wanted him to grip the club like he did her breast. The old man followed his instructions and then tried the swing, swoosh straight down the fairway. He then went to the older lady..she too was hooking the ball very bad. After trying a couple of things he tried the same approach, he asked her to remember the first time she held her husbands ****, after should understood she swung again, the ball hooked even worse, the instructor paused for a second and said that she was doing a great job, but next time he would like her to try it without the club in her mouth.

BlueMDPicker

Bubba was born and raised on the family farm, working side by side with his Daddy every day. Sadly, as time went by, his Mama passed away followed all too quickly by his Daddy.

There was a large mortgage on the home place, and Bubba couldn't make ends meet farming. So, he wandered into town one day looking for a second job.

He saw a "Now Hiring" sign on the fence of a construction site and walked into the superintendant's job trailer inquiring about available work.

Superintendant: Do you know how to dig ditches, use a shovel for light grading and the like?

Bubba: Nope. Daddy always done that.

Superintendant: Do you know how to cut and thread pipe, sweat copper piping, or weld pipe?

Bubba: Nope. Daddy always done that.

Superintendant: Do you know how to bend conduit, pull wire, and connect electrical fixtures?

Bubba: Nope. Daddy always done that.

Superintendant: I'm sorry, I just don't have anything for you.

Bubba: I'll be a sumbitch!

Superintendant: Well, why didn't you say so boy? I can use you as a foreman!