Absolutely True

dean/klipschead

A contest was organized by "New Woman Magazine" on "Most
Embarrassing moments" topic. The following are few good
embarrassing moments that magazine received from several women.



CURL UP AND DIE:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow
job?"

-- Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX


PAD, PLEASE:
An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage
insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I
wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run
and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front
of our guest.

-- Kathy Newman, 46, Winston-Salem, NC


HO, HO, HO!!
I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom
and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he
looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They
came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each
of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the
picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look.
Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in
addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror
wearing nothing but a camera!

-- Name Withheld


LADY GOLFER:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing
with men's balls."

-- Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI


NUTS ABOUT YOU:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
the boy grinned, and turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.

-- Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD


NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NAH!
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right
now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye
and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go
right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's
pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this
enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were
doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the
bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door
closed behind me were screams of laughter.

-- Amy Richardson; Stafford, Virginia


SURPRISE!!
It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at
home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my
girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after
making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to
my girlfriend that I give her a nude piggy back ride to the phone.
Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get
dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights
suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled,"SURPRISE!" My
entire family: aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all my
friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a
state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.
Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

-- Tim Cahill, Poughkeepsie, New York


PRICELESS:
One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come
upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a
discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned
that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment
when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the
store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store
apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMB TACKS." In a
business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. " DO YOU
WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN
WITH A HAMMER?"


MOM'S ADVISE:
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite
embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised
and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the
principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he
should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly
there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to
investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his ****
hanging out." I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed.
"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out
till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

-- Chris Vaught

juice21

LMAO!!! that is some funny stuff, dean:D

-justin-

Shheyte that was funny! I was laughing out loud for a few minutes. The last few were niche so gut.

~JB

rnoseworthy

Now that was too funny!!

ntculenuff

i was laughing so loud that my dog came upstairs to check on me those last few too funnE:D