Men's Dictionary for arguing with Women
dean/klipschead
Posts: 295
1. "Fine" This is the word women use at the end of any argument when
they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It
means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "Fine" to describe how she looks.
This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)
2. "Five minutes" This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash,
so women feel that it's an even trade.
3. "Nothing" "Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of
wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows) This is NOT permission; it's a
dare!If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get
upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "Five-minute" discussion that will end
with the word "Fine."
5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows) This is NOT permission, either. It
means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a
raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and
"Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
6. "Loud Sigh" This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means
she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."
7. "Soft Sigh" Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs"
are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she
is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the
hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
8. "Oh" This word-followed by any statement-is trouble. Example; "Oh,
let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last
night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest
exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes
out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.
9. "That's Okay" This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and
hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done.
"That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a
raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in
for some mighty big trouble.
10. "Please Do" This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is
giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In
other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle
this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
11. "Thanks" The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for
hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."
12. "Thanks A Lot" Dramatically different from "Thanks." A woman will
say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually
followed by the "Loud Sigh." This signifies that you have hurt her in some
callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she
will only tell you "Nothing."
they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It
means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "Fine" to describe how she looks.
This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)
2. "Five minutes" This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash,
so women feel that it's an even trade.
3. "Nothing" "Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of
wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows) This is NOT permission; it's a
dare!If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get
upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "Five-minute" discussion that will end
with the word "Fine."
5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows) This is NOT permission, either. It
means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a
raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and
"Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
6. "Loud Sigh" This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means
she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."
7. "Soft Sigh" Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs"
are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she
is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the
hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
8. "Oh" This word-followed by any statement-is trouble. Example; "Oh,
let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last
night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest
exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes
out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.
9. "That's Okay" This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and
hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done.
"That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a
raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in
for some mighty big trouble.
10. "Please Do" This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is
giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In
other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle
this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
11. "Thanks" The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for
hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."
12. "Thanks A Lot" Dramatically different from "Thanks." A woman will
say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually
followed by the "Loud Sigh." This signifies that you have hurt her in some
callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she
will only tell you "Nothing."
Dean
Quicksilver M-60 monoblocks - JM 200 Peach Linestage - Sony DVP-S9000ES - '03 modified Klipschorns
"I'm sure it's better than it sounds."-- Mark Twain, when asked what he thought about Wagner's music
Quicksilver M-60 monoblocks - JM 200 Peach Linestage - Sony DVP-S9000ES - '03 modified Klipschorns
"I'm sure it's better than it sounds."-- Mark Twain, when asked what he thought about Wagner's music
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on