The mind of a Woman and LSi15s

RobXant

I'm at the final stage of a minor remodel/LR furniture rearangement. As any sane Polkafile might do, rather than place my LSi7s on worthy and expensive stands, I have decided to reallocate them to HT surround duty, replacing them with LSi15s as my new mains up front:D.

I do, however, have one issue that I need some help with. The wife seems to think that spending $200 on nice stands makes more sense than dropping $1500 on new speakers!

The following arguments have pushed her to the brink of acceptance. But, rather than push her that last step over the edge with more "logic", I'd rather she jumped on her own.

Any ideas on methods for having her come to the realization that she cannot live without having them in her LR? The trick here is that I can surely go brute force or use the guilt tactic ("How come YOU got a new minivan...") but if she comes around on her own, then there can be no reproachful glances or statements when the Amex bill arrives;).

So far, the brute force logic that has moved her from, "No friggin way," to "Hey hon, what about these RTi10s on eBay?" are:

-"They are less likely to be knocked over by our 3-year-old daughter than the LSi7s on stands."
-"The drivers on the 15s are up higher than the LSi7s would be on 24" stands and are less likely to attract my daughters pokey little fingers."
-"They are cherry and match our decor perfectly.
-"They will look great next to our new Salamander Synergy rack."
-"The LSi7s will replace those ugly Fx30s, which will net about $130 on eBay."
-"You were all set to watch me drop $200 on stands, so whats another $1300?"

She actually likes the looks of the speakers, no issue there. Her hangup is the price. That's the final vault. The good news, though, is that this very tactic worked perfectly in the past, re:Salamander Synergy tv stand and rack... So there is reason to for optimism.

With the furniture, her logic went: "It's furniture, it should look good, I'll pay more for stuff that looks really good and is well suited to the HT task."

The speaker thing, though is more like: "It's a speaker, it should look good, but I don't really hear any difference between these $1500 ones and the LSi7s, which also look good -why should I pay so much for something I have no sonic appreciation for?"

So there it is. Any cunning among you care to offer up advice or insight into the female psyche?

okiepolkie

Your best suggestion is the

"They are less likely to be knocked over by our 3-year-old daughter than the LSi7s on stands."

Other than that, I don't see the other ones working out to your advantage as much.

nadams

Just be glad you can have speakers visibly displayed in the room. My one Aunt wants to see absolutely NO speakers or A/V equipment when you walk into the living room. This made it very hard for me when my Uncle approached me about going the separates route for his DVD player. I had to keep the speakers small while staying away from BOSE. I still haven't gotten a sub into that setup... I'm trying to get him to hide it behind the couch :-).

Some women are just like that. I'm lucky enough that my girlfriend, while she doesn't understand my speaker obsession, at least puts up with it.

Mazeroth

Do some searching. You should be able to get the LSi15s for a much better price. Show her that you found them $**** cheaper! Should help!

Codey

You should show her a more expensive and much uglier speaker excitedly, saying you don't want the LSi15s anymore, you want the ugly and expensive one. Then she'll try to talk you into the LSi15, and you see it her way and get them.

rskarvan

Offer her something of $1500 first. Then, go buy your speakers. Otherwise, you are in big trouble. Balance is key.

RobXant

Hmm I think that Cody has offered the most effective approach so far, followed by karvan nd Mazeroth. To her credit, she doens't spend a lot of money on herself. So far I have figured that any so called "balance/equity" gift is actually tilted about 5 or 7 to 1 in my favor.
Come to think of it, she has been eyeing this designer cashmere throw for the couch. That might to the trick. Now, to find some heinous $2000 Ferrari design speakers...

Mazeroth, any idea where and for how much cheaper I could score these?

Thanks guys!
Rob

RobXant

okiepolkie- the seed is already planted with the "knockover factor", so now I need the catalyst that will cause germination.

I.E.- A story on CNN.com that tells how a 3-year-old was crushed (but survived!) after pulling a speaker off a stand would help my cause...

Shizelbs

Just buy them.

cfrizz

As a woman here is what I would tell you.

"If you really want to get the speakers, lets start paying off the Am Exp. bill and you start saving the money for the speakers. If you come across the speakers for say half the price that you would pay for new ones, you can get them. Otherwise please wait until the money is saved up."

There is nothing wrong with the LSi 7 & since she can't hear a difference there really is no urgent need to get them. I know you want them now, but in this case patience & compromise will win the day.

Since she is accepting of the such large speakers which is half the battle, it won't kill you to be understanding of her balking at the unecessary (to her) expense.

Cathy

steveinaz

For God sakes man, lie. Sheesh....do I have to say everything out loud......;)

tryrrthg

Originally posted by RobXant

-"They are less likely to be knocked over by our 3-year-old daughter than the LSi7s on stands."

I beg to differ. A nice stand filled with sand will be MUCH harder to knock over than the lsi15. I built my own speaker stands based on this design only mine have two columns instead of one. Anyway, with my stands filled with sand and speakers on top they probably weigh close to 100 pounds each and all the weight is at the BOTTOM. Use blu-tak to attach the speakers and it takes some serious muscle to get the speaker off the stands.

However, having some metal stands with sharp corners is another safety issue...

bobman1235

Originally posted by cfrizz
As a woman here is what I would tell you.

"If you really want to get the speakers, lets start paying off the Am Exp. bill and you start saving the money for the speakers. If you come across the speakers for say half the price that you would pay for new ones, you can get them. Otherwise please wait until the money is saved up."

There is nothing wrong with the LSi 7 & since she can't hear a difference there really is no urgent need to get them. I know you want them now, but in this case patience & compromise will win the day.

Since she is accepting of the such large speakers which is half the battle, it won't kill you to be understanding of her balking at the unecessary (to her) expense.

Cathy

Ah women, always the voice of reason. :rolleyes:

nadams

With our litigious society today, Polk will be making padded speakers with warnings plastered all over them soon.

"Place safety fence around speaker allowing for 4 feet of space on all sides"

All jokes aside, you really do have to worry about that speaker separating from the stand. However, tryrrthg sounds like he has a pretty secure setup. Having two nieces (one 2yr old one 4), I know that they will pretty much pull or accidentally bump *everything* when they get to ramming around. Nothing is safe from being knocked off of a low-lying shelf in that house. :-)

cfrizz

Sorry if being reasonable upsets you. If you want to be a jerk & cause all kinds of hurt feelings, disagreements and dischord where none had to exist, instead of exercising patience, compromise & good common sense to ultimately get what you want be my guest. :rolleyes:

Marriage or relationships is a partnership of 2, not a dictatorship of one.

Originally posted by bobman1235
Ah women, always the voice of reason. :rolleyes:

RobXant

cfrizz has made a good point. It's the basis of my campaign, actually. The crux of my approach is that she feels like an equal partner when she finally comes around. A good, strong relationship is built around compromise and understanding. Since I don't want to compromise on the speakers, as she suggested by offering the eBay RTis, I have to find another, parallel venue that would offer her a balanced outcome. Say, a pair of pearl earings, yeah?
BTW- the money ain't the issue, it's the percieved value. We don't carry credit card balances. CC's are some nasty little devices!

bobman1235

Originally posted by cfrizz
Sorry if being reasonable upsets you. If you want to be a jerk & cause all kinds of hurt feelings, disagreements and dischord where none had to exist, instead of exercising patience, compromise & good common sense to ultimately get what you want be my guest. :rolleyes:

Marriage or relationships is a partnership of 2, not a dictatorship of one.

Sorry Cathy, I was only teasing with my rolling of the eyes. All the guys were suggesting tricky ways to swindle his wife into wanting the speakers, and you came across with a very logical and thought-out approach. Truly the voice of reason.

Although I suppose being reasonable does upset me if I don't get what I want....

cfrizz

Gotcha Bob. No hard feelings!:)

Jstas

Well, cfrizz is 100% dead on but it also depends on how level headed and mature the woman is too.

A woman may have a perfectly good, working minivan and want something new. So she will rationalize out the wazoo why she needs this new vehicle. Oh, can't be used either! She'll never have that! Nevermind the fact that her current mode of transportation, while no where near being new, is still in perfect working order, shines after it's been washed and has every conceivable feature available to it when new. That's not good enough. No, instead of paying a couple hundred bucks to give it a detail job and upgrading the stereo/video system, she wants to drop 30 large on a new vehicle.

Yet, she will complain if a guy wants to go out and get a $600 pair of speakers or even a $1500 pair of speakers. Why? Because eventhough the vehicle is not NEEDED, she has rationalized herself into thinking that it IS needed when all it really is is wanted. At least guys will tell you flatout that they don't need it, they just want it. Guys tell women that they "need" it to appeal to thier retarded method of rationalization to explain away thier desire to own something and withdraw from self-imposed guilt trip for wanting something and not having the intestinal fortitute to say "I want that." and the gonads to accept the possible answer of "No, sorry, can't make it happen right now.".

Now, before everyone gets pissed off, NOT ALL WOMEN BEHAVE THAT WAY! But, many of them do and hence you hear about equality in a relationship issues and such. Too many people think like a selfish little child and say that "If you are getting $1500 speakers then I want...yada yada yada...<fill in the blank here>". While yes, that is fair in a sense, it is not entirely reasonable because whil there may be disposable income at the time for a set of speakers, there may not be disposable income for a new Ferrari. Sure, it may show up down the road but, 'causing financial distress over "fairness" is not in your relationship's best interests.

So yeah, the guy wants a new set of speakers. Great for him! I hope he gets what he's looking for. The sad part is that his relationship is pseudo-fair because he feels he has to convince his wife that there is purpose to these devices beyond teh simple fact that this is something that the man she has vowed to love all her life wants, desires and views as not only an opportunity to pursue a hobby but a way to share a small part of his nerd-dom with that woman and family he loves.

So yeah, I think is sucks he has to even think about lying to his wife to obtain something that he works hard to afford just so he doesn't have to spend 2-3 times as much and put himself in a bind just to get something he enjoys. There will most likely be a chance for the significant other to obtain something of equal value to her/him in the future and at that time, it can be noted that the previous item was purchased at the other party's behest in reference to thier enjoyment.

In other words, what I am saying is that yes, a large purchase should be discussed in terms of financial feasibility. What shouldn't have to happen is justification for that purchase. I do my best to find out why my wife wants something but the answer isn't always yes because it isn't always something that can happen at that time. It doesn't mean an absolute no, it just means that maybe there is another way or maybe it can wait a little bit. Just the simple fact that my wife wants something is enough of a reason for me to find a way to afford it, even if time is the checkbook I have to use to afford it.

So RobXant, I say tell her the truth. Tell her that there is no logical or reasonable justification for it. The only good reason you can give her is that you want this and you are willing to do what you have to do to get it. I talked to my wife (girlfriend at the time) about my SDA's and she cried and bitched and moaned about so I said "Fine, I'll figure out another way." It meant going without lunch money and brown bagging it for two and a half months and drive to Virginia to meet a friend for teh first time but I got my SDA's and it didn't impact me any more than 2.5 months worth of lunches out with the co-workers to do it either.

Marriage is an agreement full of compromises and it can be difficult to reach those compromises when one of teh parties in that agreement fails to keep the necessity for compromise in view when discussing such decisions.

Joelsbass

Sage advice Jstas

steveinaz

If I may quote Jeff Foxworthy "If she ain't happy, you ain't happy; and if she's unhappy long enough, you'll be unhappy with half your stuff.."

madmax

Start explaining to her that she may be right. With the proper equipment the 7's with a really good sub and proper associated equipment can actually sound better than the 15's with your current equipment. Do this logically and have a nice little spreadsheet available with an upgrade path. Lets see, new mono block amps, HT pre-pro, MIT cables, better DVD... The important thing is to get her input on all the stuff you are considering. Who knows, the two of you may find that the 15's are a lot cheaper in the long run.
madmax

RobXant

Well- on only day 2.5 of "Operation LSi," I hit a homerun. The bargain gods smiled on me with a new pair for only $1000. That's with that free sub from an authorized brick-and-mortar local dealer.

So, if I can sell that free sub and my F/X300is, my wife and I should be watching romantic comedies in full LSi style for around $750 net.

So, when I showed her that deal, she saw the value told me that seemed to good for us to pass up.

Before anyone asks, I can't really explain any more about this bargain than to say it's good to get to know your neighbors .

So, without any mind games or sneaky machinations, just a little luck and a mutual understanding, the sonic bar has been rasied with no threat to famiial bliss!

Thanks for sharing everyone. I hope everyone got a little something out of this discussion!

Xant

cfrizz

AWESOME!!!! I love happy endings!!!

Way to go!

RobXant

Go Sox!
(I went to BU, wife's from the south shore...)

Bonham

One word: Jewelry.

okiepolkie

One word: Jewelry.

Yep, now that you have saved at least $500 on speakers, you can use at least that much on something she might want, but never buy for herself. And if you sell the sub and FX300i's, then will have almost as much to spend on jewelry(massages, pedicures, etc) as you spent on speakers.

In the end, the truth will get you what you need. Lies only get you what you want, and most people don't find much pleasure in that.