Today's really bad jokes...

steveinaz
steveinaz Posts: 19,538
edited March 2024 in Clubhouse Archives
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, "Whack, Dang!" A Bad Skydiver Goes, "Dang! Whack."

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Source: Bluesound Node 2i - Preamp/DAC: Benchmark DAC2 DX - Amp: Parasound Halo A21 - Speakers: MartinLogan Motion 60XTi - Shop Rig: Yamaha A-S501 Integrated - Shop Spkrs: Elac Debut 2.0 B5.2
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • exalted512
    exalted512 Posts: 10,735
    edited November 2004
    lol
    I like number 8
    -Cody
    Music is like candy, you have to get rid of the rappers to enjoy it
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jstas
    Jstas Posts: 14,842
    edited November 2004
    What do you call a cow that just had a calf?

    A De-calf-finated Cow
    Expert Moron Extraordinaire

    You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Joelsbass
    Joelsbass Posts: 637
    edited November 2004
    my fave was the last one :D
    MacLeod: I guess youre lucky Polk has such lax hiring standards.

    Josh: Damn skippy!
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • audiobliss
    audiobliss Posts: 12,518
    edited November 2004
    Those are hilarious!!! Great post, Steve!!! I'm gonna hafta add some of those to my profile.
    George Grand wrote: »
    Jstas wrote: »
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
    In Use
    PS3, Yamaha CDR-HD1300, Plex, Amazon Fire TV Gen 2
    Pioneer Elite VSX-52, Parasound HCA-1000A
    Klipsch RF-82ii, RC-62ii, RS-42ii, RW-10d
    Epson 8700UB
    In Storage
    [Home Audio]
    Rotel RCD-02, Yamaha KX-W900U, Sony ST-S500ES, Denon DP-7F
    Pro-Ject Phono Box MKII, Parasound P/HP-850, ASL Wave 20 monoblocks
    Klipsch RF-35, RB-51ii
    [Car Audio]
    Pioneer Premier DEH-P860MP, Memphis 16-MCA3004, Boston Acoustic RC520
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • organ
    organ Posts: 4,969
    edited November 2004
    lol I like 16:D
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • AustinKP
    AustinKP Posts: 861
    edited November 2004
    Originally posted by steveinaz
    17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
    Because It Scares The Dog.
    And how do blind skydivers know when to pull the ripcord?
    When there's slack in the leash.
    http://www.silverdragon.com/punkie/cybertusk/net.idiot.html - Read it, know it

    Alpine 9815
    Polk MM6's in custom fiberglass door pods
    Ascendant Audio Atlas 12
    HiFonics Zeus ZX6400 - 85x2 + 350x1
    2 Gallons SecondSkin Spectrum V.2
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited November 2004
    Did you hear about the pimp that couldn't read very well?


    He just bought a warehouse....
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • MacLeod
    MacLeod Posts: 14,358
    edited November 2004
    Originally posted by steveinaz
    1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
    Unique Up On It.

    2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
    Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

    7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
    A Stick

    15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
    Right Where You Left Him.

    19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
    The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

    22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
    Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

    Priceless.
    polkaudio sound quality competitor since 2005
    MECA SQ Rookie of the Year 06 ~ MECA State Champ 06,07,08,11 ~ MECA World Finals 2nd place 06,07,08,09
    08 Car Audio Nationals 1st ~ 07 N Georgia Nationals 1st ~ 06 Carl Casper Nationals 1st ~ USACi 05 Southeast AutumnFest 1st

    polkaudio SR6500 --- polkaudio MM1040 x2 -- Pioneer P99 -- Rockford Fosgate P1000X5D
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Frank Z
    Frank Z Posts: 5,860
    edited November 2004
    What happens when a women skydives nude?

    She whistles on the way down.
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
    2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter