The Redneck Church
F1nut
Posts: 50,735
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel- drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Baptism is referred to as "branding".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear"
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel- drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Baptism is referred to as "branding".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear"
Political Correctness'.........defined
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
Comments
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Replace "You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... " with
"You Know You're Attending Church in Southern Maryland if..." -
its not?Originally posted by F1nut
people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
-CodyMusic is like candy, you have to get rid of the rappers to enjoy it
