What in Hell?
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Posts: 7,658
I thought you guys might like this:
The Thermodynamics of Hell
The following is an actual exam question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we have the pleasure of enjoying it
as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic
(absorbs >heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their belief using Boyle's Law Gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed.) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
that they are leaving."
"I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving."
"As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Sincethere are more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong tomore than one religion, we can project that most souls go to Hell."
"With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially."
"Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, then Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added."
"This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
Freezes over."
"If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having that
event take place, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and will not freeze."
This student received the only 'A' in the class!
Ken
The Thermodynamics of Hell
The following is an actual exam question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we have the pleasure of enjoying it
as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic
(absorbs >heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their belief using Boyle's Law Gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed.) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
that they are leaving."
"I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving."
"As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Sincethere are more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong tomore than one religion, we can project that most souls go to Hell."
"With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially."
"Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, then Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added."
"This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
Freezes over."
"If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having that
event take place, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and will not freeze."
This student received the only 'A' in the class!
Ken
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
Comments
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Just because I'm feeling very contradictory today :
from http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp
The piece quoted above likely began as a humor post to the newsgroup rec.humor in 1997. Its roots, however, are far older: an unattributed parody of a scientific proof concluding Heaven was hotter than Hell appeared in a 1972 edition of Applied Optics, a story found in a 1962 book (reprinted from a 1960 magazine) is a mathematical "proof" that heaven is hotter than hell, and article published in a 1979 edition of the Journal of Irreproducible Results written by Dr. Tim Healey (written as a response to the Applied Optics piece) carried the joke one step farther by arguing that Hell was hotter still. Though these older pieces don't directly correlate with what has now become a standardized bit of Internet lore, the themes are similar enough for us to postulate that the older versions sparked the newer ones.
Interestingly enough, the purported student's opening gambit, "We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass," stands in opposition to the position taken centuries ago by the Roman Catholic Church. The Holy See had given its official approval to a particular line of scientific thought, the vacuum, to specificially allow for immaterial forms such as weightless souls and armies of angels in what would otherwise be a filled universe. Without vacuums, places where measurable matter does not exist, both Heaven and Hell and all their denizens would have no place in the cosmic order of things. The time-honored Aristotelian assertion "Nature abhors a vacuum" had to be (and was) elbowed out of the way because the vacuum was a theological necessity.If you will it, dude, it is no dream. -
thats the funniest thing I have ever read....
hehe, I'm gonna print that out and take it to church :cool:- Not Tom ::::::: Any system can play Diana Krall. Only the best can play Limp Bizkit.
