Favorite punch lines

Frank Z
Frank Z Posts: 5,860
edited February 2024 in Clubhouse Archives
A few of my all-time favorite punch lines.

Forget the condoms...I'll take 30yds of that fence!

Sure it's a wallet now, but when you rub it like this it turns into matching luggage.

Screw you dad, that's the electricians job!!

The milkman is in there right now filling 'em up, and mom's yelling "OH GAWD I'M COMING!!"

Death.....BY BONGO!!!!!

You idiot! I said go to Cox's and buy me Seersucker suit!!
9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
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Comments

  • Tour2ma
    Tour2ma Posts: 10,177
    edited April 2004
    I think I know about half of those...

    Mine...

    Where'd it Go? I forgot...

    Yeah, but whose piss is it?

    No. Jack Nicklaus.
    More later,
    Tour...
    Vox Copuli
    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Old English Proverb

    "Death doesn't come with a Uhaul." - Dennis Gardner
    "It's easy to get lost in price vs performance vs ego vs illusion." - doro
    "There is a certain entertainment value in ripping the occaisonal (sic) buttmunch..." - TroyD
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  • HBombToo
    HBombToo Posts: 5,256
    edited April 2004
    Its getting pretty sporty Sir.

    "or close to it"

    My new favorite btw

    HBomb
    ***WAREMTAE***
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  • warviper
    warviper Posts: 585
    edited April 2004
    How bout the jokes that go with the lines.:(
    Wish I was a polkologist then I could call my self Dr.warviper.
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  • Frank Z
    Frank Z Posts: 5,860
    edited April 2004
    WV,
    For the most part they are VERY off-color and could offend quite a few people. Besides, the punchlines are the best part!:D
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
    2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
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  • Pablo
    Pablo Posts: 723
    edited April 2004
    How would you like to mow my lawn? hum, hum, hum.
    Denon AVR-3803
    RTi-70 Fronts
    FXi-30 Surrounds
    RTi-38 Back Surrounds
    Csi-40 Center
    PSW350 Sub
    Panasonic PT-56WXF95 HDTVSamsung un60JS8000 SUHD
    Denon DVD-2910
    Xbox, Gamecube, PS2, PS3, PS4, xbox360, Wii, WiiU, n64
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  • petrym
    petrym Posts: 1,912
    edited April 2004
    Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids.

    I left my heart in Sam Clam's Disco.
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  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited April 2004
    "There's just one more problem President Clinton. It's in Mrs. Clinton's handwriting."
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
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  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited April 2004
    Originally posted by petrym
    Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids.

    I used to tell that joke along with this one:

    "Remember, Hugh and only Hugh can prevent florist Friars!"
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
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  • Tour2ma
    Tour2ma Posts: 10,177
    edited April 2004
    Another couple:

    So the moral of the story is, "If the Foo ****, wear it."

    Hell no. The last time I tried that I took a ten on this hole!


    A couple of mine are relatively clean...
    More later,
    Tour...
    Vox Copuli
    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Old English Proverb

    "Death doesn't come with a Uhaul." - Dennis Gardner
    "It's easy to get lost in price vs performance vs ego vs illusion." - doro
    "There is a certain entertainment value in ripping the occaisonal (sic) buttmunch..." - TroyD
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  • Pablo
    Pablo Posts: 723
    edited April 2004
    I don't tink the heavy stuff gonna come down for awhile yet.
    Denon AVR-3803
    RTi-70 Fronts
    FXi-30 Surrounds
    RTi-38 Back Surrounds
    Csi-40 Center
    PSW350 Sub
    Panasonic PT-56WXF95 HDTVSamsung un60JS8000 SUHD
    Denon DVD-2910
    Xbox, Gamecube, PS2, PS3, PS4, xbox360, Wii, WiiU, n64
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  • acdds
    acdds Posts: 253
    edited April 2004
    So I said wrecked'em, damn near killed'em!
    Receiver = Denon AVR-3803
    DVD = Denon DV-2900
    Fronts = SDA SRS 2.3TL's
    (Carver m1.5t)
    Center = CSi40
    Side surrounds = Fxi30's
    Sony 12" sub
    TV = Hitachi 57F500

    Bedroom rig:
    Pioneer SX-1050 receiver
    Rti38's
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  • HBombToo
    HBombToo Posts: 5,256
    edited April 2004
    Originally posted by acdds
    So I said wrecked'em, damn near killed'em!


    :D
    ***WAREMTAE***
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  • Frank Z
    Frank Z Posts: 5,860
    edited April 2004
    Damnit Nurse I said a Butt Light!
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
    2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
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  • PolkWannabie
    PolkWannabie Posts: 2,763
    edited April 2004
    ... but the sign on the door says, first come, first served ... :confused:
    Rick
    HT+ Sunfire TG IV, Dual CG Sig II's, CinePro 1K2, Oppo 981, Audio Technica PL120, Polk SRT's & F/X1000's, Samsung 71" DLP
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  • Frank Z
    Frank Z Posts: 5,860
    edited April 2004
    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

    This has got to be one of the funniest threads in a looooong time!!
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
    2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
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  • dragon1952
    dragon1952 Posts: 4,907
    edited April 2004
    Because he had his dick stuck in the chicken!
    2 channel - Willsenton R8 tube integrated, Holo Audio Spring 3 KTE DAC, audio optimized NUC7i5, Windows 10 Pro/JRiver MC29/Fidelizer Plus 8.7 w/LPS and external SSD drive, PS Audio PerfectWave P3 regenerator, KEF R3 speakers, Rythmik F12SE subwoofer, Audioquest Diamond USB cable, Gabriel Gold IC's, Morrow Audio SP5 speaker cables. Computer - Windows 10/JRiver, Schiit Magni 3+/Modi 3+, Fostex PMO.4n monitors, Sennheiser HD600 headphones
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  • pixiedave
    pixiedave Posts: 227
    edited April 2004
    silly rabbit trips are for kids
    Purple.jpg
    You never blow your trip forever! < Daevid Allen
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  • AsSiMiLaTeD
    AsSiMiLaTeD Posts: 11,728
    edited April 2004
    "so I said Hey stewardess, don't forget the coffee"
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  • Frank Z
    Frank Z Posts: 5,860
    edited April 2004
    (with your best Hairlip voice)
    Lady I can't take 67 more of those!!
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
    2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
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  • George Grand
    George Grand Posts: 12,258
    edited April 2004
    "If you had 2 more inches of d#&k, you'd find some new p*%sy right here!"

    George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)
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  • PolkThug
    PolkThug Posts: 7,532
    edited April 2004
    I used to have a really tight wife, til Fathead came along.
    Never Forget
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