Happy 75th B'day Chuck Norris
ken brydson
Posts: 8,783
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris can speak French… In Russian.
Chuck Norris can put out a fire with a gallon of gasoline.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it’s beef.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris can speak French… In Russian.
Chuck Norris can put out a fire with a gallon of gasoline.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it’s beef.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Comments
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afterburnt wrote: »They didn't speak a word of English, they were from South Carolina.
Village Idiot of Club Polk -
I hear he took out all 75 candles on his birthday cake with a single roundhouse.Political Correctness'.........defined
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk -
"Some people find it easier to be conceited rather than correct."
"Unwad those panties and have a good time man. We're all here to help each other, no matter how it might appear." DSkip -
There was a street named after Chuck Norris, but they had to change the name because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
The only regret Chuck Norris has is letting PFB's UPS guy live, but every now and then even Mr. Norris needs a good laugh.The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
nooshinjohn wrote: »
The only regret Chuck Norris has is letting PFB's UPS guy live, but every now and then even Mr. Norris needs a good laugh.
OK, I spit my drink all over my screen with that one. Well played, sir...
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With each push up he does, Chuck Norris isn't lifting himself up. He's actually pushing the earth down a little further.
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The grizzly "bear-skin rug" on Chuck Norris' floor isn't even dead. He's just too scared to move.
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No **** Chuck. He never gets any cat in his movies.If you can't hear a difference, don't waste your money.
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I read his biography years ago, excellent read. He played opposite Bruce Lee in one of Lee's movies, can't remember which one though...Remember, when you're running from something, you're running to something...-me
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^^^^^
that would be "The Way of the Dragon"2 ch- Polk CRS+ * Vincent SA-31MK Preamp * Vincent Sp-331 Amp * Marantz SA8005 SACD * Project Xperience Classic TT * Sumiko Blue Point #2 MC cartridge
HT - Polk 703's * NAD T-758 * Adcom 5503 * Oppo 103 * Samsung 60" series 8 LCD -
He's a real nice guy from what I've read. Very religious, and hates profanity. He agreed to do Expendables II, only after Stallone agreed to tone down the language.Home Theater/2 Channel:
Front: SDA-2ATL forum.polkaudio.com/discussion/143984/my-2as-finally-finished-almost/p1
Center: Custom Built forum.polkaudio.com/discussion/150760/my-center-channel-project/p1
Surrounds & Rears: Custom Built forum.polkaudio.com/discussion/151647/my-surround-project/p1
Sonicaps, Mills, RDO-194s-198s, Dynamat, Hurricane Nuts, Blackhole5
Pioneer Elite VSX-72TXV, Carver PM-600, SVS PB2-Plus Subwoofer
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westmassguy wrote: »He's a real nice guy from what I've read. Very religious, and hates profanity. He agreed to do Expendables II, only after Stallone agreed to tone down the language.
He's a super nice guy. His kids go to the gymnastics gym I used to coach at.
-CodyMusic is like candy, you have to get rid of the rappers to enjoy it -
Only wish at 75 I will be in as good a shape as he is. Always seemed like a guy who walked the walk....instead of just talk, which you have to admire.HT SYSTEM-
Sony 850c 4k
Pioneer elite vhx 21
Sony 4k BRP
SVS SB-2000
Polk Sig. 20's
Polk FX500 surrounds
Cables-
Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable
Kitchen
Sonos zp90
Grant Fidelity tube dac
B&k 1420
lsi 9's -
The first cell phone I installed went in his Mercedes 560SEL... I ripped the leather under the headrest on the back seat. luckily it was hidden under the headrest, and the rudimentary patch job worked. I was terrified of that roundhouse kick.The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
Only wish at 75 I will be in as good a shape as he is.
Tony, I know there's a Total Gym out there with your name on it. I think, for you, Christy Brinkley will even personally deliver it to your door.
And set it up for you. 
And train you on the 15-or-so toughest exercises you can do on it! 
Heck, I would be very happy if I could be in as good of shape as Chuck is now (at 75!) at any point in my life! Well, maybe when I was a gym rat in my twenties I could have kept up with the 75-year old version of him....maybe.
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When the Boogie Man goes to bed at night, he has his mom look under his bed to make sure Chuck Norris isn't under it!
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teekay0007 wrote: »Only wish at 75 I will be in as good a shape as he is.
Tony, I know there's a Total Gym out there with your name on it. I think, for you, Christy Brinkley will even personally deliver it to your door. And set it up for you. And train you on the 15-or-so toughest exercises you can do on it!
Heck, I would be very happy if I could be in as good of shape as Chuck is now (at 75!) at any point in my life! Well, maybe when I was a gym rat in my twenties I could have kept up with the 75-year old version of him....maybe.
LOL....Ya know pal.....My in-laws come over the other day, got something in the trunk for me. Great I'm thinking.....bottle of wine, some Italian goodies, a fig tree even. Nope....a Chuck Norris Total gym.
I said what am I going to do with this ? They said it was taking up room at their house and thought I might use it. Gee....thanks, now I get to find someone to pawn it off on.HT SYSTEM-
Sony 850c 4k
Pioneer elite vhx 21
Sony 4k BRP
SVS SB-2000
Polk Sig. 20's
Polk FX500 surrounds
Cables-
Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable
Kitchen
Sonos zp90
Grant Fidelity tube dac
B&k 1420
lsi 9's -
teekay0007 wrote: »Only wish at 75 I will be in as good a shape as he is.
Tony, I know there's a Total Gym out there with your name on it. I think, for you, Christy Brinkley will even personally deliver it to your door. And set it up for you. And train you on the 15-or-so toughest exercises you can do on it!
Heck, I would be very happy if I could be in as good of shape as Chuck is now (at 75!) at any point in my life! Well, maybe when I was a gym rat in my twenties I could have kept up with the 75-year old version of him....maybe.
LOL....Ya know pal.....My in-laws come over the other day, got something in the trunk for me. Great I'm thinking.....bottle of wine, some Italian goodies, a fig tree even. Nope....a Chuck Norris Total gym.
I said what am I going to do with this ? They said it was taking up room at their house and thought I might use it. Gee....thanks, now I get to find someone to pawn it off on.
Lol.... you could also take the not so subtle hint and actually USE the thing!
The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
Bought my parents a Total Gym years ago... it never got used.
But yes, HBD to Chuck Norris! I wish I was that fit at 75... wow.Magico M2, JL113v2x2, EMM, ARC Ref 10 Line, ARC Ref 10 Phono, VPIx2, Lyra Etna, Airtight Opus1, Boulder, AQ Wel&Wild, SRA Scuttle Rack, BlueSound+LPS, Thorens 124DD+124SPU, Sennheiser, Metaxas R2R -
The only element on the periodic table that Chuck Norris recognizes is the element of surprise.No excuses!
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When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't get wet...the water gets Chuck Norris'd .Oh, Listen here mister. We got no way of understandin' this world. But we got as much sense of this bird flyin in the sky. Now there is a lot that bird don't know, but it don't change the fact that the world is happening to him all the same. What I am tryin to say is, is that the course of your life, well its changing, and you don't even see it- Forest Bondurant
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Every year, on his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Happy birthday sir.2007 Club Polk Football Pool Champ
2010 Club Polk Fantasy Football Champ
2011 Club Polk Football Pool Champ
"It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!"
