Magical Mini Microfibre Carpet Squares.

nooshinjohn
nooshinjohn Posts: 25,465
edited October 2013 in For Sale (FS) Classifieds
Developed by me over the course of a tedious twenty minutes on my kitchen table and after extensive scientific analysis taking an additional 48.37 seconds, I have been able to produce the most amazing audio enhancement device the world has ever seen... did I say "ever"??? Read on.

My research has led to the development of a 6"x6" magic square of carpet that miraculously lifts the front edge of a bookshelf speaker to achieve 3 degrees of sonic lift, thus aligning the speaker for optimal signal arrival to your ear-brain interface. I could delve into all the technical details, but they would mean nothing to those uneducated in the fine art of audiophile carpet cutting. I am NOT trying to call anyone stupid here, but well....

I will post some picks later.

These supercalifragilistic Expialidocious Magical Mini Microfibre Carpet Squares, given the extensive research behind them, should retail for 1 BILLION dollars, but because we are family here, I will be selling them for just 10,000 dollars each.
The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
Post edited by nooshinjohn on
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  • brgman
    brgman Posts: 2,859
    edited October 2013
    I'll bet there are some secret rare wood fibers somewhere in that carpet.
    Better get to the patent office early tomorrow John.
    Main Rig-Realistic AM/FM Record player 8 track boasting 4 WPC

    Backup Rig-2 CH-Rogue Audio Zeus w/Factory Special Dark Mods,Joule-Electra 300ME Platinum Preamp,OPPO-105 w/Modwright Tube Mod, Auralic Aries G2.1,Polk 2.3TL,3.1TL's,Dreadnought,RTA-15TL's,1C's All Fully Modded,2xRTA-12c's ,Benchmark DAC3 HGC,Synology NAS,VPI Scout w/Dynavector DV-20XH and Rogue Audio Ares Phono Preamp,Sony PCM-R500 DAT,HHB-850 Pro CDR,Tascam CC-222SLMKII Cassette/CDR,MIT S3.3 Shotgun Cables,Shunyata Hyra-8,Shunyata and Triode Labs Power Cords

    I’M OFFENDED!!!!
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  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,465
    edited October 2013
    brgman wrote: »
    I'll bet there are some secret rare wood fibers somewhere in that carpet.
    Better get to the patent office early tomorrow John.


    LOL thanks for the advice. I hope nobody beats me to that. There is also some magic pixie dust from the planet Zanthos 23, freshly delivered to me from the gamma quadrant.
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
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  • zane77
    zane77 Posts: 1,696
    edited October 2013
    I believe someone on the East coast could get to an office before you!
    Home Theater
    Onkyo PR-SC5508 Sharp LC-70LE847U
    Emotiva XPA-5 Emotiva XPA-2 Emotiva UPA-2
    Front RTi-A9 Wide RTi-A7 Center CSi-A6 Surround FXi-A6 Rear RTi-A3 Sub 2x PSW505
    Sony BDP-S790 Dishnetwork Hopper/Joey Logitech Harmony One Apple TV
    Two Channel
    Oppo 105D BAT VK-500 w/BatPack SDA SRS 2.3 Dreadnought Squeezebox Touch Apple TV
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  • LeftCoast
    LeftCoast Posts: 406
    edited October 2013
    You sold me as soon as you said, "sonic lift"

    pm sent.
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  • Polkersince85
    Polkersince85 Posts: 2,883
    edited October 2013
    The patent office is closed right now.
    >
    >
    >This message has been scanned by the NSA and found to be free of harmful intent.<
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  • EndersShadow
    EndersShadow Posts: 17,596
    edited October 2013
    nooshinjohn wrote: »
    I will post some picks later.

    Ahem!!!!
    "....not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." William Bruce Cameron, Informal Sociology: A Casual Introduction to Sociological Thinking (1963)
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  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,864
    edited October 2013
    I have a 12' x 10' room that I've been thinking of putting some treatments in, John. I think that your magic carpet squares are just what I'm looking for !
    My math may be a little off, but I'll need 480 of them. I was wondering if you'd be able to manufacture and deliver that amount by December 23, preferably a few weeks before that date. That's when the comet ISON will pass closest to the earth and I'd like to have these installed before the Zombie Apocalypse that's sure to follow.
    Transaction depends on you posting pictures first, though. I want to make sure these are real magic squares .
    Sal Palooza
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  • DaveHo
    DaveHo Posts: 3,536
    edited October 2013
    Calling PFB, these are right up your alley.
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  • headrott
    headrott Posts: 5,496
    edited October 2013
    Man are you guys NOT with it! I've had these for years! Of course, they didn't have John's great name attached to them. The ones I have are called "Let's lift your speaker fronts AND f**k over John at the same time squares". I know, I thought the name was a little over the top too. But hey, they work! :smile:
    Relayer-Big-O-Poster.jpg
    Taken from a recent Audioholics reply regarding "Club Polk" and Polk speakers:
    "I'm yet to hear a Polk speaker that merits more than a sentence and 60 seconds discussion." :\
    My response is: If you need 60 seconds to respond in one sentence, you probably should't be evaluating Polk speakers.....

    "Green leaves reveal the heart spoken Khatru"- Jon Anderson

    "Have A Little Faith! And Everything You'll Face, Will Jump From Out Right On Into Place! Yeah! Take A Little Time! And Everything You'll Find, Will Move From Gloom Right On Into Shine!"- Arthur Lee
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  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,465
    edited October 2013
    headrott wrote: »
    Man are you guys NOT with it! I've had these for years! Of course, they didn't have John's great name attached to them. The ones I have are called "Let's lift your speaker fronts AND f**k over John at the same time squares". I know, I thought the name was a little over the top too. But hey, they work! :smile:
    Reported for trashing my sale thread.:mad:

    :lol:
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
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  • zingo
    zingo Posts: 11,258
    edited October 2013
    brgman wrote: »
    I'll bet there are some secret rare wood fibers somewhere in that carpet.

    What other secret, magical materials are in that carpet? That prices them more per gram than almost anything out there; except maybe Unobtainium...
    Jake
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  • Timothy Smith
    Timothy Smith Posts: 764
    edited October 2013
    I need some of those.

    But I would have to sell my pancreas (and maybe another organ or two) to come up with the $10K right now.

    I am on a budget, so will you be offering a smaller version, or a version with less "magic" in it as a entry level offering?

    I hope to move up the flagship model when I am able to financially.

    Will you take trade in's as long as I don't damage them or let the "magic" out?
    Norh ACA-2B tube pre, Sumo Andromeda SS amp. Magneplanar MMG speakers, M&K MX1250 Subwoofer, Pro-Ject RM1.3 Genie TT with Sumiko Pearl MM cart., Keces DAC, Cambridge Audio Azur 640c CD player
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  • jflail2
    jflail2 Posts: 2,868
    edited October 2013
    I go and buy a house, and then all this cool stuff hits the flea market.....Would you take a front porch in trade? I can send it to you piece meal. Can have the bottom step and hand rails packaged and UPS'd by Friday at the latest. Deal?
    2007 Club Polk Football Pool Champ

    2010 Club Polk Fantasy Football Champ

    2011 Club Polk Football Pool Champ


    "It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!"
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  • ViperZ
    ViperZ Posts: 2,046
    edited October 2013
    What about the 'sense of family' discount for Polkies?
    Panasonic PT-AE4000U projector for movies
    Carada 106" Precision Series (Classic Cinema White)
    Denon AVR-X3600H pre/pro
    Outlaw 770 7-channel amplifier
    B&W CDM1-SE fronts
    B&W CDM-CNT center
    B&W CDM1 rears on MoPADs
    JBL SP8CII in-ceiling height speakers
    Samsung DTB-H260F OTA HDTV tuner
    DUAL NHT SubTwo subwoofers
    Oppo BDP-93 Blu-Ray player
    Belkin PF60 Power Center
    Harmony 1100 RF remote with RF extender
    Sony XBR-X950G 55" 4K HDR Smart TV + PS3 in the living room
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  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,465
    edited October 2013
    ViperZ wrote: »
    What about the 'sense of family' discount for Polkies?

    I guess offering them for 10 grand instead of the 1 BILLION dollars they are truly worth is not a deep enough discount for you??? These are HIGH end audiophile class BS, state of the art audio enhancements.... What a cheapskate!:wink:
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
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  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,465
    edited October 2013
    Here is the promised picture. Please note the exceptional craftsmanship needed to get this to stand on a corner like this. Such precision took literally SECONDS to achieve. No cheap imitations here.

    I have also found that the gossamer fibres spun by feline follicle collection, otherwise known as furballs only improves the performance of the Magical Mini Microfibre Carpet Squares. I do not know why exactly yet, but I suspect it may have to do with the incredibly symmetrical arrangement of the fibres themselves, combined with the very dense packaging of the bundle itself.

    For now, this upgrade will be included for free, as my cat has given me no indication of a reduction in supply.
    031.jpg 492.6K
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
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  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,465
    edited October 2013
    Bump for the deal of a lifetime!
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
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