very depressed, need some advice...

TSWisla

Life has been sucking in general for a while. To make matters worse, I have been keeping my stereo equipment at my parent's house as I have been afraid that my children would get to it and destroy it. Well, I purchased a new cartridge 2 months ago (?) and have only managed to mount it and listen to maybe 10 sides with it. Just can't find the time to go and listen, still need to adjust anti-skate, etc. It is frustrating and adding to my anxiety that I can't even listen to some music. I have decided to sell my speakers and get some monitors and keep my TT in my master bedroom (it is a fairly large room. I think that it will be safe there. Like I said though, the room is too small for my Focals, so I need to downsize to make it work. I was looking for some opinions about the rest of my gear though. Should I get rid of my x250 and go to something smaller? Should I get an integrated? What speakers should I go for? I would appreciate any advice. Thank you.

Mike Reeter

Do I have this right? You are hiding your wonderful, two channel rig from your kids? Because you think they might eff something up? I have to think you have bigger issues than wanting to downsize everything to be a better fit in your bedroom...just sayin.

TSWisla

The issue is not if, but when. My kids are 3,5,9,12 years old. The 12 and 9 year olds would never consider touching my equipment, but as far as the 5 and especially the 3 year old go, curiosity would certainly get the better of them. But hey, I guess it is better to put me down than to offer some advice. Thank you.

heartystatue

No matter how crappy I feel sometimes, music always makes me feel better. Find some time and listen to some tunes. I wouldnt think of selling anything until you find out why you feel blue.

TSWisla

Thank you, but that is exactly what I mean. I have to get my equipment over to my house so that I can enjoy it.

F1nut

Those are not that big of a speaker, IMO.

Why not set up everything you have now in your bedroom and see what it sounds like. If at that point you think the speakers are too much, then look for something else. Also, if you haven't already, put a lock on your bedroom door.

As far as life sucking, welcome to the club. I told Scottie to beam me up, but so far he's ignored me....effer!

Msabot1

Hey man...kids will be kids. Ya have to be one step ahead of em all the time! I remember when my two pulled a chair up to my TT and examined the tonearm and cartridge !...Need I say more? Made me furious but had to grin...Little minds..planted the seed in them,now have power equipment of their own and going what I went through .....still grinning!... Life Goes On...

hochpt21

You've got some REALLY nice gear, so I can see why your worried. I myself have a 3 and a 2 year old. My solution so far is that I have my gear in a rack with a door and the TT on top. When they have opened the door to the rack I have been very fair but firm with them.

The 3 yr old has learned very well so far and I am even teaching him a little. At this point he talks about Dad's records and I let him help me "pick" out what we are going to listen to. As of last week he VERY CAREFULLY helps me by gently pulling the lever to lower the tonearm as I am holding him.

The 2 yr old is still learning and I keep a good eye on him, but for the most part he stays away.

When I initially upgraded most of my gear a while back I was nervous, but then I thought...ok what's the worst that can happen...a ball gets kicked and knocks my TT onto the floor destroying a $600 piece of gear. I can get a new one, or a cheaper one...or something else, but I can't give up the enjoyment of listening.

And the best that can happen is that nothing gets smashed or ruined and my kids grow up in a wonderful, music filled environment and learn to appreciate expensive things and respect Dad's stuff and maybe even form life-long bonds.

I'm not saying your the same as me or want to raise your kids a certain way, but my guess is with the quality of gear that you have...you really enjoy music...and it should make you relaxed and happy...not stressed.

So maybe try moving it to your room, or protecting it with a more secure rack, but definitely get that stuff to your house where you can enjoy it.

The quiet times for me are fewer and farther between, but when they happen...it's like magic. And I can't imagine having that quiet 45 minutes without my gear available.

brianle

It's tough to keep the kids away from your gears, especially when you're not at home. If I were you, I would keep all the gears and start training the younger ones how not to treat your gears properly. Now I do feel lucky that my daughters are only interested in princesses lol

skrol

I understand your situation as I have young kids too. My TT has been tucked away for years. It is getting to the point now where I can set it up once in a while. When I do listen to music, it is often at night with headphones. Either they don't like my music or they make too much noise to enjoy it. It is all a season, enjoy them and enjoy the music whenever you can.
Stan

Bob in WI

I'd ditch the TT for now & listen to another source until they are a touch more responsible. There are larger sacrifices coming I'm afraid.

newbie308

That is tough! I get that you love your gear and you don't want it getting trashed by curious little fingers. I think you should consider a simple lesser system comprised of used equipment. I'd get some smaller bookshelf speakers that can be put up on a high shelf, and a simple tuner/amp. This way your valuable gear is safely stowed until the little ones are older. It may seem like a long time, but the years click by pretty quickly, and soon you will be unpacking and warming up that prized system and enjoying it with your kids.
Locking the gear up in a rack is only as good as your diligence to keep it locked. Been there done that! One day you will forget to lock it and next thing you know the kids are using the pretty knobs as tops on the kitchen floor! Enjoy the music! Don't make the gear a forbidden fruit, or curiosity will get the better of your kids. Include them in your passion, and it won't take long for them to get that it is important to you.

BlueFox

Not to derail the tread, but I was not allowed to touch/use my father's stereo in the living room. It was some huge tube console with a radio, turn table, and speaker in the main console, and a remote speaker for the stereo part. Anyway, since I couldn't use it, I was very careful to put all the volume, treble, etc. controls back as I found them. One day I came home from school and cranked up my Chubby Checker album with The Jet. While in heaven I turned around and there was my mother, who was sick and had come home from work early. Well, I learnt my lesson. Always check the garage and rest of the house before doing anything 'illegal'.

schwarcw

Kids will be kids and I understand it is a danger to have nice equipment with small children. A smaller bedroom rig or a head fi system. You may need to store the TT for a while. This may be a sacrifice but times will change. Kids grow, and we all get older. I would love to be 25 years younger and have small children around me. Family is the most important thing in life. Enjoy your youth and your family. There will be plenty of time for a turntable and more. All my best and good luck!

Moose68Bash

In 1989 my then three-years old daughter loved "to play" with the tone arm on my TT as I listened. Eventually, of course, it became apparent that the TT with LPs was not going to survive. So, I switched to CDs, which were, of course, the coming thing at that time. I've never gone back to vinyl. I'm probably missing a lot, but I've gained a lot more.

I enjoyed my daughter as she grew up before my very eyes. A second daughter followed in 1992. They both loved to listen to my music with me. The sound of my elder one saying "Ravi, Ravi" when I walked toward the CD player still rings in my ears! Translation: "Ravi" was her word for "Pavarotti," whose voice she loved. She is now an accomplished -- albeit amateur -- violinist and loves music. She is getting married on 21 December this year. The years fly by.

My younger one liked The Eagles, especially "Get Over It," which she required me to put on in the car at full volume every morning as I drove her to pre-school on my way to work. She is now a pianist, singer, and dancer, who loves music of all sorts. She graduates from Johns Hopkins in Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering next spring. My, how time flies!

The moral of my story is that you have an all too short time to love and enjoy your children. They will grow up and leave you alone with your music in the blink of an eye.

It doesn't matter how you do it, but figure out how to imbue them with your appreciation of great music, and you and they will have it forever. Love them. Love music. And figure out how to do it together with them.

You only get one shot at it!

zane77

Moose, That's a great plan, glad everything turned out right for you. These days who knows what can happen.

BlueFox

Moose68Bash wrote: »

It doesn't matter how you do it, but figure out how to imbue them with your appreciation of great music, and you and they will have it forever. Love them. Love music. And figure out how to do it together with them.

This is good advice. I have no doubt that if my father was not passionate about music I would most likely be less interested in it. These days, with kid proof solid state audio, there is no excuse to not have excellent sounding tunes at home. Get a Bryston digital file player, a good DAC, and enjoy some tunes with your kids.

tonyb

Even with small children and now grand children, I never hid anything or had to banish anything from the house. Instead I instilled a fear of god to anyone on 2 legs or 4 to not touch the gear/speakers no matter what. To this day, the children got it, it's the adults more so I have to worry about especially when company is over. The kids know to ask me to put a movie in for them and will tell me when it's over, they don't even touch a remote. They know there is no playing around near the TV or speakers, no throwing toys at all in that room, etc.

Stop turning your life upside down because you have kids. Instead set the ground rules and make sure your other half abides by them too. This will also give them a sense of respect for other peoples stuff so you are actually teaching them something in the process.

sponger

Funny thing is that I recall destroying a couple of my Dad's TT cartridges when I was around 4 years old. He brought it up when I saw him on father's day a couple of years back. I remembered it clearly. I'm not a "bright" person, but I've been told I have an uncanny memory. For example, I repeated to my barber today something she had told me about a year ago and she was completely stunned.

Anyhow, during that lunch with my Dad I looked back on that period of time when I was 4 and tried to understand what was going through my mind. I remember knowing that it pissed him off something awful. But at the same time I was completely entranced by that stereo in the living room. I couldn't get enough of it. It and especially the record player engulfed my mind. Self-control was just not possible.

The human brain doesn't fully develop until the mid 20s. For men it's the mid-20s. For women it's the early 20s. The male brain has a slower developmental process. So, the brain of a 4 year old is nowhere close to being able to exert any significant level of self-control.

And that's why I feel lucky that my parents were not ones to practice corporal punishment as a form of discipline. Many if not most parents would've spanked me in a situation like that.

If you spank your kids, then that's your business and I say all power to you. Something like 75% of parents do. However, each and every year more and more studies find that it probably isn't a good idea. Emotional impact aside, it's been linked to lower test scores and even sexual disorders. And not that it matters, but there is an inverse correlation between education level of the parents and whether or not they spank their children.

Surprisingly, there are psychologists who do advocate spankings. I recall one writing that "it should be used in extreme situations -- like when your child dangles an infant from a second story bedroom window." IMO, a child is already pretty disturbed when he's dangling infants from a window. Perhaps he's already being spanked too often in the first place?

I eventually outgrew the urge to screw with my Dad's stereo. That probably had more to do the development of the section of my brain that controls impulses than with my finally learning to recognize authority.

Mike Reeter

TSWisla wrote: »

The issue is not if, but when. My kids are 3,5,9,12 years old. The 12 and 9 year olds would never consider touching my equipment, but as far as the 5 and especially the 3 year old go, curiosity would certainly get the better of them. But hey, I guess it is better to put me down than to offer some advice. Thank you.

My intent was not to put you down, you say your 12 and 9 year olds would never consider touching your equipment, did you have a rack full of gear when they were a little younger?

tonyb wrote: »

Even with small children and now grand children, I never hid anything or had to banish anything from the house. Instead I instilled a fear of god to anyone on 2 legs or 4 to not touch the gear/speakers no matter what. To this day, the children got it, it's the adults more so I have to worry about especially when company is over. The kids know to ask me to put a movie in for them and will tell me when it's over, they don't even touch a remote. They know there is no playing around near the TV or speakers, no throwing toys at all in that room, etc.

Stop turning your life upside down because you have kids. Instead set the ground rules and make sure your other half abides by them too. This will also give them a sense of respect for other peoples stuff so you are actually teaching them something in the process.

I graduated from the same school as Tony.

cfrizz

Moose68Bash wrote: »

In 1989 my then three-years old daughter loved "to play" with the tone arm on my TT as I listened. Eventually, of course, it became apparent that the TT with LPs was not going to survive. So, I switched to CDs, which were, of course, the coming thing at that time. I've never gone back to vinyl. I'm probably missing a lot, but I've gained a lot more.

I enjoyed my daughter as she grew up before my very eyes. A second daughter followed in 1992. They both loved to listen to my music with me. The sound of my elder one saying "Ravi, Ravi" when I walked toward the CD player still rings in my ears! Translation: "Ravi" was her word for "Pavarotti," whose voice she loved. She is now an accomplished -- albeit amateur -- violinist and loves music. She is getting married on 21 December this year. The years fly by.

My younger one liked The Eagles, especially "Get Over It," which she required me to put on in the car at full volume every morning as I drove her to pre-school on my way to work. She is now a pianist, singer, and dancer, who loves music of all sorts. She graduates from Johns Hopkins in Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering next spring. My, how time flies!

The moral of my story is that you have an all too short time to love and enjoy your children. They will grow up and leave you alone with your music in the blink of an eye.

It doesn't matter how you do it, but figure out how to imbue them with your appreciation of great music, and you and they will have it forever. Love them. Love music. And figure out how to do it together with them.

You only get one shot at it!

Congrats to you Moose, sounds like you did just great in the Dad dept. My best to your daughters graduation & Wedding!

tonyb wrote: »

Even with small children and now grand children, I never hid anything or had to banish anything from the house. Instead I instilled a fear of god to anyone on 2 legs or 4 to not touch the gear/speakers no matter what. To this day, the children got it, it's the adults more so I have to worry about especially when company is over. The kids know to ask me to put a movie in for them and will tell me when it's over, they don't even touch a remote. They know there is no playing around near the TV or speakers, no throwing toys at all in that room, etc.

Stop turning your life upside down because you have kids. Instead set the ground rules and make sure your other half abides by them too. This will also give them a sense of respect for other peoples stuff so you are actually teaching them something in the process.

Tony has basically nailed it. With the exception of a few, everyone these days are scared to death of putting the fear of god into their misbehaving children and teaching them that bad actions equals consequences for their actions.

If you are not willing to teach them to look, listen, but do NOT touch, then put the turntable away, get a cd player or an mp3 player and listen to your music that way. Buy a cabinet that you can secure the door so that they can't get into.

Personally I'd rather go with a consistent NO MEANS NO approach with consequences for ignoring this simple rule. It worked just fine for me and my brothers, we grew up to be decent hardworking adults who respect ourselves and others and the rules of society.

George Grand

schwarcw wrote: »

I would love to be 25 years younger and have small children around me.

Me too. My children.

steveinaz

...you think it's bad now, wait until you become a grand parent---think you're finally in the clear---and you find yourself "guarding" the rig again....LOL

gudnoyez

steveinaz wrote: »

...you think it's bad now, wait until you become a grand parent---think you're finally in the clear---and you find yourself "guarding" the rig again....LOL

Well said, I have at times sweated when the grandkids come over but they have yet to have ruined anything (knocking on wood) been a couple of close calls though, I once caught the young one of the bunch shaking the speaker stand one of the A3's sit on I caught him just in time. We made one of the spare bedrooms their primary domain when they come over. Enough gadgets play station wii's to keep them busy.

PolkieMan

I never had any trouble with my girls I kept it in a rack unit back then with a glass door. They had their own little system in their rooms it wasn't a problem.

skrol

My dad had made a nice sturdy wall mount for his TT when we were little to keep it safe. I seem to recall someone here wall mounted theirs.

chumlie

steveinaz wrote: »

...you think it's bad now, wait until you become a grand parent---think you're finally in the clear---and you find yourself "guarding" the rig again....LOL

+ 1 Grandpa not supposed to yell at the little jewels.. That's parents job. :rolleyes:

schwarcw

Moose68Bash wrote: »

In 1989 my then three-years old daughter loved "to play" with the tone arm on my TT as I listened. Eventually, of course, it became apparent that the TT with LPs was not going to survive. So, I switched to CDs, which were, of course, the coming thing at that time. I've never gone back to vinyl. I'm probably missing a lot, but I've gained a lot more.

I enjoyed my daughter as she grew up before my very eyes. A second daughter followed in 1992. They both loved to listen to my music with me. The sound of my elder one saying "Ravi, Ravi" when I walked toward the CD player still rings in my ears! Translation: "Ravi" was her word for "Pavarotti," whose voice she loved. She is now an accomplished -- albeit amateur -- violinist and loves music. She is getting married on 21 December this year. The years fly by.

My younger one liked The Eagles, especially "Get Over It," which she required me to put on in the car at full volume every morning as I drove her to pre-school on my way to work. She is now a pianist, singer, and dancer, who loves music of all sorts. She graduates from Johns Hopkins in Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering next spring. My, how time flies!

The moral of my story is that you have an all too short time to love and enjoy your children. They will grow up and leave you alone with your music in the blink of an eye.

It doesn't matter how you do it, but figure out how to imbue them with your appreciation of great music, and you and they will have it forever. Love them. Love music. And figure out how to do it together with them.

You only get one shot at it!

Well said Moose! Making adaptations to you life and family situation in the best interests of your family is good advice. Life is short and you only get one chance to raise your children.

Congrats to your daughter! My BS is in Chemical Engineering. One of the most flattering things wa that my daughter wanted to be like her dad. She too got a degree in Chemical Engineering.

Moose68Bash

Carl,

Thank you, and congratulations to you, too!

Phil

steveinaz

I make my grand children wear a shock collar, it works great!

F1nut

steveinaz wrote: »

I make my grand children wear a shock collar, it works great!

I like it!